| elliesmom |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 04/10/12 01:54 PM |
Re: Would you move back?
|
I would let this situation play out before I decided to move back.
First - you did move. Which means he may ask and get part of his travel expenses paid or you required to bring the baby to CA for visits occasionally.
His prior behavior wrt not wanting the baby won't (and to me wouldn't) matter much. For you the baby was real from the moment you knew it was there, you felt morning sickness, then kicks etc. It is not unusual for fathers (particularly when separated from the mothers) to not have that "real" feeling until birth. My husband is a wonderful father, but truthfully, he never was one to talk to my belly and act all goofy about pregnancy. He wept when he held each of our kids for the first time and pretty much from that day forward starting planning their lives, but before they were born? I could barely engage him in discussion about names.
It is very hard not to interpret his rejection of you and your relationship as rejection of your child. But I would encourage you to move past that, because he will be your child's father forever. And if he genuinely wanted a relationship with is child I would ultimately choose to live near him. Because A) I would not want to send my child once they weren't an infant anymore away for long periods of time to CA while I was in OH (which WILL HAPPEN once the chid is old enough to fly alone in the eyes of the law 5-7 yo - YIKES right?) and B) I would want my child to be secure in their relationship with their Dad if their Dad was capable of providing that.
But he may drop the issue once he realizes it won't be as easy as his lawyer wannabe friends have led him to believe. So I would wait and see. And extend an invitation to meet his child in Ohio or the next time you are in CA. And see what happens.