| Renee |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/07/06 09:55 PM |
Re: Will soon be filing, have no choice
|
The Al-Anon meetings you're going to I bet have other people that can tell you that their spouse all of sudden turned over a new leaf when the break up finally set in. The new leaf syndrome is instinct in an alcoholic and a manipulation, and it usually comes out when the alcoholic is faced with boundaries that are not bending to the usual tactics. I've been told this by Al-Anon friends and by different counselors over the years, and having seen it first hand I believe it.
I've also seen this 'new leaf' get blown away by the first stiff wind, because no matter how pretty the new love is, the only reason the change occurred in the first place was as a reaction to outside forces, and not as an internal desire to change.
He's putting on his sober face to satisfy anyone who comes up to him and says A)I heard she's divorcing you because you're a drunk - to which his response is 'Look at me I haven't had a drink in x days'; or B)Spouse said you couldn't get sober - to which he says 'Ha - guess I'm showing her!'.
It is my uneducated, unprofessional, yet first-hand experienced opinion but, he won't last. Not with that long of a history and no professional in-patient treatment.
He's putting on a show. Pray that for his own good it will stick, but do NOT beat yourself up that he didn't stop when he was with you. Read your book, keep your faith, and thank God you had the strength to accept the things you couldn't change, the courage to change the things you could, and the wisdom to know the difference.