It sounds like a "power trip" on your STBX part, that is sad. As for your son, give him time. If he is being influenced by his father at this time, it will wear off. Continue to do what you are doing, although there is a very good chance that he may not be receiving what you are sending. You might try sending it via registered mail. Does your son work/hangout someplace that you would be able to go and see him without his father around??
I know this is a very difficult time for you and my heart goes out to you. Hang in there, but don't give up.
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