| intrepidsoul |
| (recently joined) |
| 09/10/07 06:47 PM |
Back and forth
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I am trying to avoid the complication where he-said-she-said and put my kid in the middle. She's 5, and as kids that age will often do, sometimes she'll relay a comment or two that my ex has said about me, her grandparents (whom I live with-they're my parents). Today, she told my mom that her Dad says that 1) we keep a dirty, digusting house (not true), 2) that mommy broke Daddy's heart and I'm a bad person, 3) that my Dad (her grandfather)should not play with her or take her out, and 4) that he (my ex) is the boss of our house (he lives with his mom 50 miles away).
Some background: my ex and I were officially split two months ago. We were separated Dec last year, and it became very contentious. He called DYFS on me, I was cleared, he called the town code officials on my Dad (they investigated, found a few things, then dropped the case because they felt it was malicious on his part). We both went for psych evals. Passed. He is a hairtrigger over-reactor. I've tried to remain calm, and do call him on it when he does stupid things (like limiting my calls with my daughter when she was there a week). He can't keep using her as a pawn like this. I don't tell her things the way he does, I try and be mature about it, and remember to avoid the question of divided loyalties. I just don't want him destroying her. Help!