| Ditto |
| (newbie) |
| 07/28/06 01:08 PM |
Re: Divorce after long-term marriage--Male thing?
|
I also believe that men are not as willing to post their feelings. It is not that they aren't experiencing them as fully as women, it is simply that they do not feel comfortable discussing it. I belong to a board designed for people who have been widowed at an early age. Primarily the site is composed of women, but we do have many man. The women were complaining that the men didn't post and the men responded that they wanted a private room of their own. So, the administrator created a male-only board. Women may not post on this board. Some women have gone into that room just to see what is posted. The report is that the majority of threads are jokes or discussions of cars or military histories or sports. This is how they keep in touch with each other and deal with their feelings and bond. Every so often there will be a post discussing the hardship of being a widower and the men will all be very sympathetic and offer advice, but that is a rarity. On the main board the women will post even if it is to say that they are having a bad hair day.
I too think that women are the ones who initiate the divorce because we are the ones who are left to handle the responsibilities. In my case my ex-husband and I both wanted the divorce equally but he refused to deal with any of the details and certainly wouldn't shell out the money to get it done. It wasn't only the divorce that I had to be responsible for. I had to handle the sale of our business and I had to draft the division of assets, and I had to inform his children and his mother, and I was left to clean everything after he moved out, and I had to cancel all of the joint accounts. But even during our marriage I had to pay all the bills, make all the social arrangements, and bear all of the responsibilities for making sure that life progressed orderly and that everything that needed to be done was done.
I'd heard women complain that once they were married they had to become a mother to their husband, but I had never really understood that until I had to do the same thing. And then, of course, I was considered controling and a b*tch. There was no way to win.