| lsutton |
| (enthusiast) |
| 09/09/06 09:01 PM |
The roller coaster
|
So I guess this is the whole ups and downs, atleast I am getting a few ups but I am at a down again. My oldest daughter wanted to go and stay with him again tonight of course I said yes and so did he. I know I should be happy they are spending some much needed time together but I am frustrated with the whole thing and not sure who or what I am frustrated at which makes it worse.
Earlier tonight I really wanted him back home, back in my life as a husband (not that he would agree) and as the night wears on I think of the movie Hope Floats and how I got the best of him already and those are the kids. It is such a mix of emotion I am not sure which way to lean or even if I have to lean one way or the other right now.
The house has been so peaceful and being able to do things as I feel like doing them or doing more then normal I truly enjoy that part. I am not sure what I am missing about him but for sure it's something. It would be nice to sort of half way decide who I am supposed to feel.
Everyone says "oh give it time he will be back, look at where he is now" but I don't feel that way, not that I would even take him back but that he would even want to come back. To much time and energy is being spent on thinking of him and where I am supposed to go with these emotions. Thank goodness I can vent.