| thisaintBB |
| (enthusiast) |
| 11/08/06 01:36 AM |
Re: Any wisdom??
|
thanks for everyone for your encouragement here is an update...this a copy of an email I sent to my inner circle of girl friends today
I had counseling today, boy was that tough. We talked a lot about my "mixed emotions" and why even though just four days into this I can see a lot of blessings but I'm still hurting so bad. She said that there was an attachment maybe it wasn't a "good attachment" but it was still an attachment. She said that the bottom line is Carl isn't emotionally healthy enough to "fix anything" that when you say you don't want to fight or have conflict there is no saving anything (and that was his routine answer when we were in counseling) she said if a relationship isn't worth fighting over it's doomed. She was VERY PROUD of how I was handling things, she agreed that I SHOULD NOT file for divorce, she feels that eventually I will because I'm the doer and well we know his track record of taking care of things...enough said on that subject. I did text him today to ask for an address to send papers, and I asked him if I should prepare Lyss for the fact that she isn't going to hear from him, he ended up calling her and we weren't home so I had her call him back and that seemed to really help her a lot which in turn helped me a lot. He sent me his mom's address hours later but I had already mailed a letter to his work certified telling him he needed to file for divorce, his decision, his situation, end of story. Told him I wasn't being spiteful, that I wasn't even angry just heartbroken, but it was his to deal with. Told him the facts about Alyssa (which the counselor says he needs to hear loud and clear) told him he owes it not to ME BUT TO ALYSSA to at least help her to heal from all of this, told him he's a coward for not seeing her face to face. The letter was only about 12 sentences long which the counselor was also proud of....I ended the letter by telling him counseling was still an option, but Sylvia (the counselor) wonders if counseling is even still an option for me really she says I've processed the situation for what it truly was and there may not be any going backwards for me, made me promise to 6 months worth of counseling for myself, I made appointments for the next 4 weeks 1x each week and then we are going to try to go twice a month, I BOUGHT NEW FURNITURE TONIGHT....for the living room, it's being delivered Thursday, do you know anyone with a cleaning company I want to hire someone to come in and do a deep clean and then maybe have them come back every two weeks or so.....I'm taking care of me girls! I'm going to be OK, no I'm going to be better then OK I'm going to be Good and then I'm going to be Great...by the way I've lost 21 and 1/2 pounds since August.....woo hoo!!