| CiCi |
| (addict) |
| 07/28/07 09:54 AM |
Re: Happiness
|
RS / Bad - I think you hit the nail on the head! This is exactally what I am talking about. There was nothing remarkable in our marriage to cause someone to be so unhappy that it would drive them to taking up with another woman. Sure, there were some basic needs on both sides that weren't being met, but there were resolutions to that - just that he didn't want to do the work (and admitted it). It then comes down to selfishness...it's that he is thinking that it's only his needs that aren't being met, never thinks about mine, and he strays to satisfy himself! Never once thinking that if he weren't so selfish, we could have worked towards getting back to a healthy place. I mean, there are people with irreconcilable differences - some on this forum have shared that...but in my case, I don't think that was the deal.
Patrice - I think you raise a great question. How does one know if they are happy....and what if they think they are, but go to a bar where some stranger tells them they aren't because he/she can see it in their eyes : -) (OK, that's a bit of a joke with some reality to it). I think that's a question I'll have to "percolate" on before I can post my ideas...I don't really know either.
Becka - I commend you for standing up for what you have and being content with it. I think you are teaching your kids to have a great sense of pride for what they have. I think in today's society, we value "things" (inanimate objects) because typically 2 parents are working and we feel "guilty" for not being with them more and make up for it in superficial ways. Either that or it's a keeping up with the Jones' thing....which is a game I never play. Either way - I think it's really important for us to show our kids that we should not define ourselvs by the superficial things of our world...rather by who we are on the inside.
HUGS,
CiCi