| LadyBugRN |
| (veteran) |
| 10/13/05 04:16 PM |
My parents...
|
Hi Bacall,
Here comes one of my novellas again... ;-)
When I was 22 my parents divorced, after 30 years of marriage. Soon after the divorce was official, my dad remarried, to of all people his high school sweetheart. My mom was devastated when she found out and of course, rightly so. I didn't even know about the marriage until a year after my dad remarried. He kept it a secret.
I eventually met my now "SM" and I know it was painfully hard for my mom. I can empathize even more now, having gone through my own divorce. My parents never maintained any contact and when my two younger sons were born, my dad and mom would painstakingly avoid seeing each other even at the hospital.
Then in 2002, a year after my ex-husband and I separated, my mom moved here to be closer to my sons and I, to be able to help out. I came home from work one day, my mom had been here that afternoon, when the boys got home from school, and as I came through the door, my mom was on the phone talking with someone. I just assumed it was one of my friends, as the conversation was very pleasant and my mom was laughing. She turned to me finally and said "Oh, Lori's home, I'll give her the phone now." She handed me the phone and said "Here, it's your dad!" You could have picked me off the floor!!!
Since then, my dad and mom have totally united around me as their child, together. They then saw each other for the first time in 17 years, when my dad drove down from several states away, to go to court with me, which my mom also attended. This was their first time to be in the same room, in all that time, and it was all only about 6 months after my mom had her strokes. We all walked into court that day as a united front together and I swear you could have then picked my now ex-husband off the floor too.
Now my parents talk on the phone on a semi-regular basis. It is usually about their grandchildren (my sons) and I. My dad is still married to his second wife and she is very okay with it all.
Then two years ago, my oldest son graduated from high school. My dad, my SM, myself, the man I was dating at the time and my other two sons and my mom, all attended the graduation together. This was the first time my mother and SM ever met. It was amazing! My mom and SM actually hit it off very well and it was so strange to realize the dynamics going on around me. We didn't even realize it, until after the graduation that my ex-husband had actually attended too. He started to walk up the steps to see our son, when all the sudden he saw everyone standing there together and he did a triple take. (It was priceless!) He literally stopped in his tracks and our son had to walk over to him.
All I can say is my parents coming together like this, for the sake of my children and I, has been miraculous, wonderful, and amazing! It has been a real tribute of their love for me. I am so proud of them both for putting the past behind them and making amends. I am especially proud of my mom, because it took so much courage and strength on her part to accept my SM too, especially on the heals of two severe strokes, that have left her physically and somewhat mentally disfigured in ways.
My dad has now stepped in to help out where he can at times. He offered and just came here for two weeks, the last week in August until the first week September, as I went back to college and my younger two boys were still out of school on summer vacation. My dad then called here Monday and said that he and his wife would like to come down here for Thanksgiving this year. He realized that my mom will be here too. I asked my mom if she was okay with all of it and everyone is fine. This will be the first time ever that any of my three boys will have both of their biological grandparents together on a holiday. Besides that, they'll also have an additional grandmother too, my SM.
I know now I could do this for my children someday, because it's meant that much to me with my own parents. However, I don't ever really see my ex-husband stepping up to the plate and being that big about things. He doesn't even see the boys... Maybe one day he'll surprise all of us too? At least I know now that I could and would be able to do this for my own children, because of the example my parents have set and the wonderful experience it has been to watch it all unfold. I want my kids to have this too someday, if ever possible.
Lori