| VanajaGhose |
| (newbie) |
| 05/11/10 06:42 AM |
Re: Have to ask this...
|
Hi bacall,
It took me a LONG time to get over the hurt and the pain (even though I was the one to leave) - and yes, I lost many friends in the process (the true good-old friends remained).
Lessons are just that - lessons. Happy lessons are found - they don't just happen. I discovered long ago that no matter how many self help books I read (and I have tons), or how many seminars I attend, unless I apply what I read, I will remain stuck in the funk. So I started to apply what I read, and more, and it completely changed my life around.
A powerful exercise that I learned and practice with other people (I even posted it on my kitchen cabinets so that my kids would be curious and read it - rather than me saying, hey read this!)- is what's called "Victim" vs "Responsibility". In any given situation, asking the question (once you find out the true meaning of both) - am I being a "Victim" or am I coming from the place of "responsibility"? shifts your whole being.
I used to say I'm all alone - but I don't agree with that any more. I have realized that we are not really alone. I am connected through a force with everyone around me, to you and others reading this via the internet. There is an energy that connects me to others. What I do and say impacts another. If you can think of being on your own in that way, you can change many things in your life.
Of course it's natural when we first separate from another human being, we miss them, the physical closeness, the things we did together (and we usually remember only the good things - the vacations we took together, the family outings, etc. It took time, but the feeling does eventually go away (or at least becomes much less). It doesn't mean you don't need or want to be with another human being, of course you do. And eventually you will reach a stage where you will date again. And so it goes. But one baby step at a time!
Friends mean well, they just don't know how to handle your situation and what to say etc. If they are married, chances are they are feeling a little vulnerable (could it happen to me too? they might be asking).
Thank you for your mother's days wishes - hope you had a good one too.
Warm regards,