| Curt551 |
| (journeyman) |
| 08/12/10 11:20 AM |
Re: Ah....The weight of rejection...
|
Hi Bacall,
No worries Bacall :). I didn't take it as you being critical at all. My response about waiting for someone to knock on the door was an attempt at humor related to a phase of readjusting to divorce. I think a lot of us wait for that special person to arrive rather than go out there at least until one's comfort level begins to press us out. Might just be my observation and associated assumption... assuming is always risky haha.
I also was not being critical of you in anyway. I agree that each person heals in their own way and that its a process not an event.
Internet dating can be a lot of things I think. Its like the world... some people see it as a meat market, some as a fantasy site, some as an actual way of meeting people. For me it is just one way to get to begin conversations with women who's profiles interest me. Its not so different than conversations like these on a forum except that the discussions are private. You have to sort through those that are genuine and those that are not but your profile, if done honestly, will take care of most of that.
Once you have had enough email discussion to determine whether you would like to meet someone, you simply make the request to meet for lunch or coffee or a soft drink in a public place. Then you meet and talk face-to-face and determine whether to progress forward from there.
There are dangers and rewards which is true in all dating. You have some scammers or disingenous people that you have to sort through but there are also very sincere down to earth people as well. People of a variety of faiths and the faithless.
My experience has been mixed. I have not asked many out but I have a few. I've had one attempt at being scammed which was a really good attempt that I eventually had fun with (an entirely different post). Two that I've remained friends with, one that we mutually decided to part ways, and one that told me I wasn't marriage minded enough after 3 dates haha. I'm glad I escaped that one. I didn't venture out or attempt to see anyone the first 3 years of my divorce. Year 4 was difficult because I would unconsciously catch myself comparing the woman to my ex. I've had quite a few internet conversations but not many meetings/dates for the same reason you mention. I have to feel pretty secure with the person before I'll actually meet them.
Hope that answers your question :).
Warm regards,
Curt