| Curt551 |
| (journeyman) |
| 08/13/10 01:07 PM |
Re: Ah....The weight of rejection...
|
I agree, it is difficult to meet people. I live in a small town (population less than 1000) and work in a larger metro area but when I'm working there is very little time to go out and meet people unless I'd go to bars which I am not willing to do. I work in a small office where the women are in their late 20s or early 30s. I'm thinking those two conditions make my rationalizations sound haha but I also think part of it is simply the fear of rejection.
I think finding someone with whom you are romantically compatable with is like trying to pull a diamond from the center of a bonfire... the risk of getting burned is greater than the probability of securing the diamond but once secured the probability of being burned is remarkably diminished... you always think the diamond is hot but in a different sense haha. Anyway, I don't know if there is a perfect way to do this.
I can certainly relate to the missing the comfort of belonging. The routine of companionship and the safety of being part of a duo that is functioning productively. When its good its really good :) Its particularly so in public for some reason. I do not know why attachment is so important in public but it is to many people. I go back and forth with it. Then again, I try not to let loneliness reshape my thinking. I'm not as successful as I'd like to be sometimes.
I think the longer we're single we begin to forget about the difficulties that couples have becoming synchronized. All of the "okay... who squeezed the toothpaste in the MIDDLE!", "put the lid down", "leave the lid up", "you don't want a husband you want a butler", "you don't want a wife, you want a maide", "the floor is not the clothes hamper", "ouch!! do you have to leave that curling iron on 24/7?!?", "OMG what is that on the soap?" haha. I could write a book haha. I am not denying the really good times here but I'm reminding myself that there are synchronizing issues that one does not have to deal with while single... at least in the same way.
On the subject of scammers, I think its actually equal as far as gender goes. On a site I finally left, I got more than my fair share of 22 to 29 year old writing in broken or confused english suggesting that at 56 I was the hottie of the month, the dream of their dreams, send money for a plane ticket and we'll be married tomorrow haha, US cliche's and all. I quote, "hello beg boy, for to I want marry you. I am stible American girl from Georgia USA. I want stible man for to dance and love make. Love me at applepie@[censored].com we chat." Then there are the less obvious posing as missionaries or young american women living in Africa looking for a way home. Some are really good at the scam. These days I chuckle when I see one because once you are aware of the games its pretty easy to pick all but the extremely efficient out of the crowd quickly. Its usually about money or green cards. They seem to pose as men and women in their late 20s or very early 30s and target males and females in their 50s, seemingly, with a preference for Christians or people that sound very lonely in their profiles. I had one actually tell me that 50+ Christian was the primary target. I am happy that scammers are less than 5 percent of the folks you meet on line though I'd prefer they would disappear all together.
Have a great day Bacall :) I always enjoy our conversations.
Curt