| VanajaGhose |
| (newbie) |
| 09/12/10 10:32 PM |
Re: Advice -- what is the best advice you would give
|
Becall, I've read a lot of your posts, and it has been a long journey for you, so good for you that you have reached a stage where you can step back and look at what happened a little more objectively now.
What I have found is that there is no magic pill that would apply to all. Each person has to go through their own journey - it doesn't matter how many friends tell them (i.e., advise) to move on, let go, etc. Each person HAS to go through certain stages (anger, grief, etc.) and each stage will be different for different people. The length of each stage will also be different for everyone, depending on how motivated they are to get past it all. For some, staying in that pain - believe it or not, they get something from it, so they stay - and others will get help and move through each stage much quicker.
Advice, imho, rarely works. The person has to come to a certain realization themselves, and a good therapish/counsellor/coach will help not by giving advice, but by asking some much-needed questions. Unless the answers come from the person herself/himself, they rarely make the change they need to make.