| kjmil |
| (recently joined) |
| 10/14/10 07:42 PM |
Re: The next chapter in my life (getting a divorce)
|
Hi
I understand your reaction but I think anyone here will advice you not to start dating so soon after a separation. It will only make things harder for you if you get involved with someone else. When you lose a relationship that was so important to you, it seems pretty natural to try to replace it with a new person, but those relationships that start out of those needs hardly ever work out. So youŽll be setting yourself up for more heartbreak.
When I just separated I found it very hard not to look for the next man in my life, but it seemed like I only attracted men who were already in another relationship, married guys, men with commitment issues etc. So I just decided to forget about dating for a while and concentrate on the interests I had left behind when I was married. I discovered there were a lot of interests I had completely forgotten about because the relationship with my husband took up so much of my time and energy.
It has been almost two years now and I am not the same person I used to be, I am much happier with my life and I feel more fulfilled (though I would like to have a partner someday) and have made new social contacts. I canŽt really tell you what to do or how to do it, for me it started with sleeping a lot, I guess I was a bit depressed. But all the quiet and rest did me good, I became aware of who I was and what I really want out of life and a relationship.
Believe me, a guy who suggests a breast reduction is not what you want!
Just take care of yourself, donŽt look for someone else to do it (because no one will), and try to treat yourself with the respect and love youŽd want to receive from others.