Yes, I do have primary custody. He has them approximately 45 percent of the time. He is a good dad. I thought he was a good husband too. I keep feeling sorry for him. I keep thinking, he went through the loss of his father and that's what made him jump. I've lost a parent too and I know how painful it can be but I couldn't imagine leaving my family because of it. I want to move on but I think about how badly he hurt me every day all day. It's been six months! I need to get over it! He doesn't deserve my time in thoughts. I tried to start dating immediately after he left. In hindsight, it was obviously stupid. I've recently stopped looking for that replacement. I know I have work to do on myself in order to be the best parent I can. My kids deserve my time more than anything. It's just so hard. I keep thinking, he has help now and I don't. I'm doing this alone while him and her live in a nice house with nice things and two hefty incomes. I live in an apartment with a fraction of their incomes. I'm looking for a second job just to get through Christmas. I have no family and barely any friends. The friends I did have were his friends. Obviously, they took sides which is fine. They weren't true friends to begin with. I just have to stop feeling angry and sorry for myself and be strong. I guess that's why I came to this forum in the first place. I love the support I've seen on other posts. I'm making a future commitment to be there for others that are going through this because I know I'll survive this. I have no other choice.
|
Re: It's still a struggle