| bellwattz |
| (recently joined) |
| 01/10/11 03:49 PM |
Re: Nearing 5 years...still not over it...
|
Thank you for your response. Wow...you really hit home to me. You are right...I can't make my husband pay for my ex-husbands mistakes. It isn't fair. His ex-wife left him for another man but he doesn't compare me to her like I have compared my ex to him. He is a wonderful man and I feel sometimes that he deserves so much better than me.
My mother was very close to my ex. She was absolutely floored when the breakup went down. It was completely out of character for my ex to do something so deceitful. He just wasn't that person for the many years I was with him. After our breakup he told me that the last two years of our marriage he was acting and playing a part. I never saw through the act but looking back perhaps the signs were there and I just blew them off not wanting to believe it.
When you ask if in 10 years time will I mourn the loss of a marriage that lasted less than the one I have now...I truly believe the answer will be no. I just have to learn to let go of things I have no control over and try to accept I may never have the answers for why he did the things he did to me. It is hard to accept that a huge amount of time in my life was a lie. The past few years have been a challenge at times for me. Healing hasn't came as easily as I had hoped. I didn't expect to think about my ex at all after this long. That is why I thought I would come here and get some perspective.