| aussie928 |
| (old hand) |
| 01/23/05 09:25 AM |
Re: Update from When To Call It Quits
|
G'day mate.. I would agree with most of the things Onyx says and would like to add a couple of my own if you dont mind. First off mate...a marriage never ends based on one persons mistakes. It might not be 50/50 in the mistake area it may very well be 90/10 but the fact is no one is faultless. She needs to work on several areas no doubt but you need to now search your soul and admit and change your bad habits as well for this to truely work. I have a friend whos wife moved out when he was at work...he was crushed and said they never fought and she never told him anything was wrong. The story he told was a good one and I felt so sorry for him. About a month later I ran into his STBX and we had coffee. Her side...they never fought as he told her everything that she did wrong and then when she would try to point out his mistakes...his response was "we are talking about your mistakes..not mine" The fact is he would never listen to her...so she finally left. I am not saying this is your situation mate..what I am saying is there are three sides to every story...his..hers..and the truth.
As to the constantly accusing you of cheating. This could be for many reasons. Sometimes people accuse others of what they do as they just expect everyone one else to be capable of doing what they do. Are there ones that cheat just to cheat of course but there are also ones that cheat as they are looking for something they are not getting at home which has nothing to do with sex.
The last issue I would like to address is the paying more attention to your daughter when she is there. I do see your point but I see hers as well. I know the reasons you pay more attention to her and though they make perfect sense...your wife is a mother as well and her first instinct is to look out for her childrens welfare. This is what she is afraid your other wee ones see. Daddy loves us but when X comes to visit he pays more attention to her so he loves her more. Just give that some thought mate.
You need to give this one more shot..BUT you are going to need to learn to forgive "get over it" as it were..if this is going to work. Good luck to you mate...and please keep us posted.