| Svein |
| (recently joined) |
| 07/31/08 02:21 PM |
Re: International relocation from Idaho with child
|
I'm hearing a lot of concern regarding the possibility of allowing the kids visitation over the summers and possibly more. And I get it, I truly do. It's a concern of mine, too, and definitely part of the reason I went on this board to get some good feedback. And to be honest, I have to say I'm still on the fence in this whole relocation thing.
I've also learned that X thinks 'sole custody' means no visitation. She needs to read up on that, of course, and I've tried to let her know the court (or preferably ourselves) will set up a visitation schedule but got cut off before I got there.
A note to Relayer: the mother is legally unable to get even shared or joint custody at this point. Should she recover mentally, that may be an option I'd work with her on in the future, all things depending. It's a sensitive issue, not just for the obvious reasons, but also because if I receive full custody of the children, Health & Welfare will vacate their case against her, and then who would follow up on her progress? Me? That would cause yet another source of friction - I'm already too much in control of her life (OK, paraphrasing here but you get the point). So yes, I'm concerned, and will continue to be concerned whether I remain in the US or not. An idea that comes to mind (but that won't be received well, I know) is the option of paying for mom's trip abroad a certain number of times per year. She is a teacher and has summers off plus ample time over Christmas and winter to visit for a week or two at a time.
I'm also a little confused by Relayer's statement that I have "gone to great lengths to ensure she is screwed" - what exactly, by example, have I done to make her situation worse? If that is true, I definitely need to have some behavior modification done myself. I was extremely supportive of her recovery work until she had a relapse in her drinking (she is since back on the wagon again) and later when she physically assaulted me following a family planning meeting with Health and Welfare.