| liftnbhappy |
| (journeyman) |
| 08/27/06 12:01 PM |
Getting the book
|
I am on my way to the bookstore now. I will get that book. That FOG acronymn makes SO much sense. It's very good to hear all of this. YOu put it into such a context that makes me see clear.
The whole OW thing blows my mind. I just don't grasp the rational thinking of how he can harp on me and ridicule me but he can do it and it's OK, it's justified.
I do plan to call the hotline, I got the number. I don't need to go stay there. My mother is well off financially and I can draw on that if need be, however, that always comes with consequences too. I don't feel like being obligated to her too much with my daughters and I moving back to her home once my house sells here. We are going to be staying with her while I am having my dream home built on land that she gave me. So as you can see I am tapped out on the whole owing mom thing. Don't want to dig that hole any deeper unless I have to.
He woke up finally about noon and it was like nothing had happened. He took the girls to a movie and asked for a hug on the way out the door as I was kissing them. I told him no and he pulls the I guess we aren't going to be amicable like we agreed card. How does me being affectionate to him have ANYTHING to do with being amicable. And this is of course after he walks inside from being outside on the phone with the OW. WTF!!!!!
Yes, I do believe that someone is looking out for me. My grandmother who was plagued by MS for 37 years passed away 2 years ago on my birthday. Which was the 18th of this month. I think she's got my back. She was a very very strong woman. Like I said she dealt with MS for 37 years and never once complained about her own pain from the disease and the emotional aspect of being that sick. Every year she got worse and worse until she was bed ridden and couldn't even feed herself anymore, let alone talk. She was such a devoted woman to her family and all of her friends. I know she is with me right now.
I'm just so scared of being lonely. I mean that sounds so stupid. But I am just being honest. I have spent the last 7.5 years pretty much alone. His long work hours and working overtime and sleeping during the day. But I guess I have been like at least that little bit is better than nothing. I'm 28. I don't know how I will ever trust anyone enough to love them again and I don't want to be old and waiting for my daughters to come visit me as my only bright spot. I'm being over dramatic, everything is just weighing down. But its all going to be OK.
Thank you Rocket Girl for your concern. And yes, BB1, your posts are awesome