I never said or thought I was the perfect wife, but I did nothing to push him away. I did at first but after taking a long look I know that I did not. I work, take care of the home and the kids. I ask nothing of him except to have a job. He does not believe in god at all. There is no faith there and I have accepted that. Sometimes I don't know what I deserve anymore. I love him deeply and don't want to live a life without him but I have to pick the lesser of two evils and I am very torn on which way to go. I agree that now is not the time to make a life changing decision so I will wait on that for now. To tell the truth I think I already may have lost myself to him. I have spent 13 years worrying about what makes him happy that I don't even know what makes me happy anymore. I think that is why when he moved out I was so distraught and devastated, I didn't know what to do without him. You would think with all the kids they would take up my time but it didn't seem to. I had a hard time functioning on my own. I know I know co-dependant. I know that I am. I want to get my life and marriage on the right track but also believe and can't do it alone. I already feel like I am pulling away and I want to stop doing that I want to make it work but it may be to late for us.
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Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?