| HO2 |
| (member) |
| 01/30/07 04:35 PM |
Killing yourself
|
If there is something killing you in this marriage, you somehow failed to articulate it. Drifting apart is something that happens very easily and very often, once there are children. What you are living through is in no way unique to you and your wife. Many have been there and many managed to get through this.
I am sorry you feel you cannot talk , but you will HAVE TO talk and you will have to say more than just 'BYE, cause I am so unhappy'. You will have to be courageous and you will have to make an effort. You cannot just walk away and be all sulky about not being understood. You miss intimacy? But how can you ever get there, if you are afraid to communicate?
Personally I find it incomprehensible - unless you suffer from severe depression - that you should find it so impossible to get some kind of happiness out of having kids and a family.
'K i l l i n g yourself'....'o n l y for the kids'.
To me this sounds like severe depression.
Just like you cannot have intimacy without communication, you cannot find happiness without the right attitude, without being able to appreciate. You seem to be thinking yourself into depression. And I guess this is because you are the passive type. You seem to feel helpless and mute. But this is an illusion. You are not helpless and the only option to improve your life is not to run away and hide. There are a million things you can do.
But they all start with....'we need to talk...'
I grant you that right now might not be the best moment. But right now is not the best moment for ANYTHING...apart from welcoming the new baby into your family....and maybe getting some counseling for yourself.