I never posted anything like this before so please bear with me. I have been married happily for almost 22 yrs (or I thought so) until about 6 wks ago. My husband informed me that he was unhappy and he was not sure what he wanted. I walked on eggshells for those 6 wks along with my daughter, praying constantly, and doing everything possible to please him. He works over an hour away and got an apt with a co-worker who also travels a distance. He said he would try to work things out and I thought we really were working on it. He refused to seek counseling. He signed the lease the beginning of the month and stayed away from home only one night that first week, but went and stayed Mon-Fri the second week. That Friday he informed me he could no longer do it. He then informed me has been seeing another woman which turns out to be from Calif (where he travels on business a bit) since Oct of last year and that she is moving across the country and leaving her 12 year old daughter with her husband. She is actually moving here in 2 weeks. As we speak now, he is there on business for the week with her. She works for the organization he had dealings with there which is how he met her. He said he loves me but not like he should and that he can not spend another 20 year of his life not being happy in a marriage. I begged him to stay and did everything possible but his mind is made up. I love him so much!! We have 2 beautiful children, ages 16 and 19. They are both devastated and shocked over what he did. We have cried each and every night and are all in total shock. All my friends are very angry over what he did to our family. I really don't know what to do. My son (the 19 yr old) refuses to talk to him and my daughter is afraid not to talk to him for fear something will happen to him and she will feel guilty. I guess I just needed to vent. I am having the locks changed this weekend for fear of him coming here and wiping me out. This woman seems to have such control over him and I am afraid all the financial promises he made to us will stop. He also said that if we need anything day or night, he will be there for us. He was talking to me everyday up until he flew out to see her and we ended our conversation by saying I love you each time. I know things changed but deep down I think he still loves me. I know he definately loves the children. I don't know what to believe anymore since we have been living a lie for so many months. He also has been lying to her since he never told her that he has been sleeping with me all these weeks. I asked him about visiting the children when she moves here and he has not discussed that with her as of yet. She seems to be very needy, drinks, and has to be with him wherever he goes (this is what he has told me) We are trying to be civil but it is very hard. I am terrified. Can someone please give me some words of wisdom or insight? We live in PA and he is a state employee. I have a very low income job and he makes about 3100.00 more a month than I. He promised he will take care of the bills until my daughter graduates in 2 yrs but I am terrified to get him angry so he does not change his mind and also she will change his mind once she gets here since she will be unemployed. What can I do??
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Unfaithul Husband