| johnson27 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/24/09 11:38 AM |
Re: 34 going on 90 and ready to start over.
|
I think a letter is a great way to open the lines of communication. This way you can think about what you want to say before you say it. A letter leaves out possible perceived ugly gestures/tones. Also gives you a chance to word how you feel in a way that doesn't seem like he's being attacked. It's been my experience that ppl will respond much more willingly when they don't feel like they are being blamed or attacked. So instead of saying you do this, say this is how I feel when this happens or when this doesn't happen.
Also ask that the two of you get together to actually discuss this verbally after he's read the letter. When you do, allow him to speak without interrupting and try to be understanding of how he feels or where he's coming from also, because afterall that is what you are expecting him to do for you too.
I honestly don't know why it is he could be holding out, maybe the issues with a child being in the house are valid, maybe there is something going on with him physically that he is too embarrassed to share, maybe he feels disconnected if your jobs are keeping you away most of the time...I have no idea, but I do believe he should be honest with you about what's going on because thats the only way it's going to get worked out. And if the issue of the child being in the house is valid, then you guys should work together to come up with ways to have these *meetings* at other times when the child is not in the house. But it's going to take cooperation on not only your part but his too.