| suzie71384 |
| (recently joined) |
| 11/18/09 06:34 PM |
Re: Trying so hard to save my marriage
|
I'm sorry I didn't get back to this sooner.... nothing productive has occurred since the last time I spoke with him, which was well over 2 wks ago. Wow time flies, I had no idea it had been that long. I honestly didn't think I could go that long without a tiny bit of communication!
myheart...I agree with you wholeheartedly with everything you said and understand what you mean about taking a different route to survive. We gotta do what works for us, no matter how that's perceived by someone else! All this time I was carrying myself like 'oh well I want to keep the window open a little for the off chance that we might reconcile someday'... YEA RIGHT! All the nice things I offered to do (while all he did was be cruel) was for nothing and when I realized it was all for nothing, I stopped. I didn't give a rats a$$ anymore, why should I be my awesome self for someone I know 100% does NOT appreciate it! I figured, he was nice to me for about 2 wks, gave me the illusion we were "fixing" something by being sweet to me, taking me out on cute dates like we used to go on ONLY to get me to sign the papers quietly, without demanding anything I know is rightfully mine and without involving attorney's because this would cost him money.
You wanna talk about being selfish? My soon-to-be-ex-husband would have a [censored] fit about writing my name first on a bday card or invitation we were sending out...he said "why does your name go first?" or whenever we'd get an invite and it had my name first, he'd want to know why!! WHO DOES THAT? when I was picking out our wedding bands he actually requested diamonds on his ring! I teased him about wanting a tiara too for him to wear.
I gave, I gave, I gave and it was all: FOR NOTHING. His family never appreciated me, he never appreciated me or the things I did because if they did... they wouldn't be trying so hard since the day we got married to tear us apart.
I say: GOOD RIDDENS! GOOD BYE AND GOOD LUCK!
It hurts yes, it hella hurts because to me it's still fresh, it's only been a little over a month, but if I have to swallow that hurt and pretend like it doesn't exist just so I can function on a daily basis and be able to work... then I will pretend like he never existed to me.
I HAVE to pretend like I NEVER loved him, he is a stranger to me right now and that's the only way I can move forward and stay sane.