| Forsaken |
| (recently joined) |
| 04/05/10 01:45 PM |
How do you know when its time to let go?
|
I slept with my soon to be ex husband…and now I’m confused
He’s been gone since July of 09.
We had a huge fight and I kicked him out of the house, told him I never wanted to see him again and I’d rather die than be with him.
It was harsh, I know, but I’ve made my peace with it.
He left and was gone for 2 months. Never so much as even called.
Then in late August, he just showed back up on my doorstep.
He stayed until October and then went back to his native country for a job that he had lined up.
We spoke every single day and I went down to visit for Christmas.
That’s when we had issues again.
Long story short, I came back and didn’t talk to him again until March.
He comes back now in April and we went and filed for divorce.
Now he says that he really didn’t want to do it and that he was only trying to make me happy and thought that this was what I wanted.
I do want this…plus he was the one who would call and ask me what to do about the divorce… don’t know if he was truly wanting to know, or just trying to feel the situation out before he came.
To make matters worse I slept with him, I don’t know why….I wish I hadn’t.
Now he wants to think about if we really will be divorced. Says he leaving it totally up to me to stop the proceedings because it will let him know that I still love him like he does me and we will be okay.
Not to confuse that with he doesn't care either way, because he doesn't want to be divorced he just wants it to be my decision to stay or not.
He says he’ll move back to the US, as soon as I give him my answer.
I figure that he was gone so long that if he loved me, why didn’t he come back sooner? Or why didn’t he say something before we filed for divorce to begin with.
I’m confused and just want someone to tell me if I should just leave well enough alone or if I should stop the proceedings?
I hadn’t thought about him..you know out of sight out of mind.
But now that he was back I feel confused.
I must be crazy…it’s like I’m inviting utter chaos back into my life.