| Susanf31 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/19/05 09:56 PM |
Re: When will some people ever learn????
|
I think you are one of the "people who will never learn." Your actions were rude and it's no wonder BM got snippy. Any gift-giver would get snippy for being called on the carpet for their gift choice.
Sorry, but coming strictly from a BM's point of view here...
I have often times bought my ex something "from the kids." I was married to the man. I had children with him. I know him...and obviously she chose a nice book because he already had it...signifing that she did, indeed, know it was something he would like.
If one gives a gift that you already have, the gracious thing to do is to say "thank you." That's all, just "Thank you." You don't criticize the person who sent it or choose it and chide them for not consulting you first. Who would do that??
Your H could have called her and THANKED her for book, then told her what a nice gift it was, but he already had it. Could she please tell him where he got so he could exchange it for a different book. That would have been the NICE, gracious thing to do. Then he could have gotten all excited in front of the kids about how he was going to be able to go to the book store and pick out any book he wanted!!
I'm appalled that you would get on the phone with her and proceed to tell her how, in the future, she should send gifts. Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's the thought that counts?
You were rude and you could have shown so much more graciousness than you displayed. I'm sure you don't see that and you don't see yourself as part of the problem. But anytime you have a new wife telling ex-wife that she should consult her before sending gifts, you've got to see that you are part of the "When will they learn!" club.
Remember, when ANYONE gives you or your H a gift, jsut say "thanks for the thought!!!" If you already have it, you can always discretely exchange it later.