| KiwiGirl |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 12/23/09 11:44 AM |
Quite frankly
|
What you got was a little example of how they run their lives.
If my uncles thought I had not helped my grandmother out, I would not care a jot. Hypothetically I WAS there. I KNEW I was there and their opinion has no effect on my life.
If they want to run their lives based on gossip, good luck to them. If you want to let your ex get under your skin AGAIN because he accused you of something that was very untrue, then you need to get a grip on yourself.
I would have told my ex ... this has nothing to do with you. If you feel so strongly, perhaps you need to go over and help her out yourself. I know where I was and when. I am no longer accountable to you.
Dealing with the uncles? Ignore, be polite, fake it and make the day a delight for your grandmother. After all, SHE needs you more than they do and this is why you are going over there.
If you cannot put aside some hurt feelings for relatives who have no idea how to lead independent, productive lives then you are no better than them and their narrow minded ways.
Pull on your big girl underwear and fake a smile and just reply with 'Thats nice' or 'Oh really'.
If they try to get into a fight with you, tell them this is not the time or place and sit next to your grandmother. They will not pick a fight with you sitting next to her.
Do not expect a thank you or anything else. They are cretins and do not know any better. Your grandmother knows the truth. And your ex's opinion of you and how you conduct yourself within your own family doesn't matter.
YAH, you rent out too much headspace to the negative people in your life. Your ex and his opinion of you, your uncles and their opinion of you .... why is it importnat to have the approval of all these people and that they see what a wonderful person you are? If this was the case you would not be divorced and be a LOT closer to your uncles etc.