elliesmom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
05/07/12 12:02 PM
Re: How would you handle this

I am going to ditto that you need to sit them down and make sure they respond to their father's (and anyone else they know who takes the time to email) emails. All the time. Period. Because it is RUDE not to.

I am a SM whose stepson lived with us after his mother allowed his stepfather to be verbally/physically abusive to him (she did divorce the man after she lost custody). We still made him respond to her calls/emails, acknowledge holidays etc. Because - we wanted him to be a thoughtful, considerate young man. Kids are inherently selfish and even with teens it is "out of sight out of mind." My stepson spent 15 years with his mom, but put her 8 states away? She may as well ceased to exist. So don't kid yourself - their failure to respond isn't about him and his behavior. It is about kids being kids. They will offer up whatever excuse you want to hear, but the truth is they are kids. And kids just don't think about other people that much.

So in short - if you want your kids checking in on YOU in the old folks home, you better raise them to BE that kind of person. And that kind of person would be responding to their father's emails.

And I will warn you - my military husband got to watch his ex have her a$$ handed to her in court over many issues - one of which was her refusal to facilitate contact while he was deployed. He did the exact same thing - copied her in emails. The judge was INCENSED that she acted like it wasn't her job to make them reply.



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