| Annie7676 |
| (old hand) |
| 06/09/12 06:43 AM |
Step Parents and Regrets
|
I see many posts on step dads/moms.
My mom was married 3 times. She is not an easy woman and has issues.
My Dad left when I was three and moved across the country and I had no contact with him all my life. It was like he didn't exist.
My 2nd step dad came into my life around 5 or so. He was basically a good man and filled the role of Dad as best he could but at that small age you just go with the flow. He was Dad. They got divorced when I was about 13 and it was done with.
I came home from school one day at 14 and my mother announced she had been married. Shock, anger and betrayal were what I remember, not against my step dad but my mother.
There was a block there. Its a unusual place to be when you have a step parent because you know they arent' your real parent but a step.
The 3rd time for my mom worked like a charm. The marriage lasted 25 or so years and he was a good man.
The regret I have is that I never got to tell him thanks for the love, commitment and caring he gave me.
When I read the posts here about the back and forth on step dads/moms I understand and I get it...I have had 3 dads.
If children have good people in their lives whether biological or step who care for them, have their best interest at heart, listen to them, care for them, have their backs thats about the best we can ask for.
I had a wonderful step dad and he is dead now and I regret that I will never have the chance to say thank you.
He was there for me in every aspect that counts so if we as parents can be a loving person in a kids life we can make a difference.
These days kids need all the support in the world from caring adults who can help set their feet on the right path and make them feel loved and cherished.
I am not criticizing anyone here but from my perspective now looking back, I was very lucky and blessed to have two step dads that took care of me, and were Dads in the real sense of the word.
Step parents can make a real difference in the life of a child. And at the end of the day, don't we all want the adults in our children's lives to love them just as much as we do?