| yourwinter |
| (recently joined) |
| 07/27/10 03:53 PM |
Re: Intimidated and need some support/advice
|
Well as far as the job situation is concerned, I'm in oregon and my inlaws live out in the boonies with no neighbors around for miles, so a car is pretty much required to go anywhere. As I said previously, I have no friends who live here and am pretty much on my own. My father-in-law has Parkinsons and is on disability at home so I mainly help him and look after my son.
The full time schooling was actually my mom-in-law's idea. She doesn't want me to try juggling school, work and childcare and has made it clear that she would like me to live here, complete my schooling and get a decent job. they provide a house for me to live in, free from rent and utilities and food to eat, which I am extremely thankful for. I cook all the meals for the everyone, clean and drive my father-in-law to places when he is unable to drive himself. I have helped them with finances a lot before I separated from my husband and they insist that they would like to return that favor. With a part time job, I could still be able to help them out with finances, as well as be able to help my father-in-law.
I know that I need to get working and believe me, when I lived at my house closer to the city, I applied to quite a lot of places but due to my lack of work experience (the only experience I have had is with graphics design in England, of which there are no stable jobs around here), I didn't get any bites at the time, now that I have moved I am still applying for jobs but I don't want to have to rely on my father-in-law to have to drive me to work and back, especially if he shouldn't be driving. I am trying everything to bring an income in from home - selling things I have made, offering graphics design work, selling things I don't need, but its not a steady income at all.
I am not dependent on getting spousal support. It would help while I get back on my feet, but I am not expecting it. As much as he has made my life hell for the past 12 yrs of being together (9 married) I do still care because he is the father of my son and I would never want him to have to pay so much money that he isn't able to pay his bills or care for my son. I was just wondering what the chances are of the judge looking at my situation, see that i'm making 0 income right now and trying to get work/go to school, then look at my husband's income of $52k year and order some kind of transitional SS, even if I don't specifically request it
I would like to get to the point where I am 100% able to support myself and my son, I am not lazy but having a little money to help me in the meantime while I am searching for a job and while I am going to school would help a lot.
on that same note..
Almost heaven@ I want to fight for my half of the joint account but anytime that I have spent something from that account it has caused so many problems. My sister-in-law suggested that I should just go to the atm, take out a fixed small amount every month and leave it at that, I should not have to confer with him and ask him to let me take out money. However, In all the time that I have been living here, I have spent $70 on basic necessities for myself and my son and he is livid that I have spent so much. He still holds that over my head saying that I owe him and knowing him, he will close the account or threaten to stop paying bills/mortgage before the house sells. I am not really sure what to do. I don't even get the support from his parents, they think I should just leave the account alone and just let my husband have his way with everything so as not to make him mad. Same goes for child support or spousal support.
As for legal aid here, they will only take on domestic abuse cases for the family law dept. Since there is no need for a restraining order and I haven't had to call the police, they can't help me. I am looking into private lawyers but most of the ones I have found in my area are very expensive.
yes, the custody ratio that he wants is insane, especially since it is impossible for him to have that much due to his work schedule, I have started tracking the days that he actually spends with my son, so I have some proof to show him.