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I'm new here ....please help!
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We're from AZ and my son who has been married for 2 years is getting a divorce, she wants support. She works 30 hours a week and wants to go back to school. They are both 24 yrs old. How much support will she need or get?
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gr8Dad
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/06/06 05:07 PM
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With a 2 year marriage...
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...and the ability to work,. she will PROBABLY get no spousal support.
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Re: With a 2 year marriage...
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she wants spousal support so my son said he'll pay for their car until the lease is up (4yrs) $688
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Re: With a 2 year marriage...
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Why would he pay $33k in a car lease (which is a waste of money anyway), when he will not have to pay her ANY support at all? Spousal support is usually only awarded in long term marriages... certainly not a marriage that is only 24 months old.
I would tell him not to pay her a thing. And if her name is on that car, he better get it removed prior to the divorce.
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Re: With a 2 year marriage...
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They have a house and he'll live in it, pay all the bills until they can sell. (when the market is better) She'll move back home with her family. He does make good money, she only make $13 hrs. and like I said want to go back to ASU.
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Re: With a 2 year marriage...
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He wants out and feels bad for her. He still cares for her but doesn't really love her anymore. They have been together for almost 7 yrs. since high school. He's 1st love. Lucky no children.
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Re: With a 2 year marriage...
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That's all fine and good... but why does he think he needs to pay her SS? I don't get it. The little amount of assets they DO have can just be divided evenly. He will have to buy her out of the house (which can't have very much equity anyway) and if he has another vehicle, then give the leased car back to the dealership and split the penalties.
Their marriage is such a short term one that I don't see where he thinks he "owes" her anything... unless he just wants to pay it out of the goodness of his heart or to get rid of her.
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Re: With a 2 year marriage...
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Thats what I said, but her mother is coming into it. She was divorced and said he'll need to pay because of the way they lived and they also want him to pay for the schooling
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gr8Dad
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/06/06 05:31 PM
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Tell him to tell her...
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..."See you in court..."
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Re: Tell him to tell her...
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how long do you need to be married to get ss?
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Buckeye
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/06/06 05:43 PM
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Re: Tell him to tell her...
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Much longer than 2 years. My understanding that it is AFTER a 10 year marriage AND the wife wasn't working.
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gr8Dad
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/06/06 05:47 PM
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Most situations involve...
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...divorce after 10 years or more, with some exceptions for lifestyle, etc. There would have to be EXTREME circumstances to have anyone get it after 2 years, and it would be SHORT (a few months) and he would NOT have to pay for her schooling.
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Re: Most situations involve...
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Thanks for your help! I'll tell him this. I think he thinks its an ez way out. I just know her mother wants her to get everything she should have and I would too. I'm looking after my son. He'll file soon, and he said the paperwork and filing will run about $600. Does that sound right?
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Susanf31
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/06/06 06:42 PM
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Re: Most situations involve...
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Well, wait a minute. GENERALLY speaking, he shouldn't have to pay any spousal support. But, are there mitigating circumstances? For example, did she work and possibly support him while he finished his schooling? Did she help him get a business started? Did she contribute to his financial standing/employment in anyway. did she help pay any of his student loans? Tuition? I'm sure you get my gist.
If she did, then she might be entitled to some support for a small amount of time.
If she didn't, then it's highly doubtful she'll be awarded any SS. She'll just have to work and go to school like most everyone else did.
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Re: Most situations involve...
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He has always made good money. She never did, so what her family is saying is that he needs to pay for the way she lived with him. She's moving back to her family house, because she only brings home $1200 a month. So he'll pay for their cars ( hers $688) car ins,and some of schooling. He'll keep the house until they sell it. Gave her 1/2 when they sell. And keep paying off all the credit cards. She just pays her cards in her name and thats about it.
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Miranda
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/06/06 07:41 PM
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Re: Most situations involve...
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I doubt she is going to get squat...a 24 year old, able bodied, woman after a two year marriage. GET REAL....
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Gecko
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/06/06 07:45 PM
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Re: Most situations involve...
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did she work and possibly support him while he finished his schooling? Did she help him get a business started? Did she contribute to his financial standing/employment in anyway. did she help pay any of his student loans? Tuition?
---> Sorry...but how much could she have possibly "contributed" in two years?
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BB1
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/06/06 07:52 PM
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Re: I'm new here ....please help!
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My guess is he is trying to relieve himself of the guilt of leaving the marriage. It's really tough when a person leaves someone they care about and I think your son is trying to be nice about it because he feels bad. Everyone is right. It's pretty much a sure thing he will not be court ordered to pay her anything other than property divisions...no spousal support though. If he must do something nice for her because he wants to (not because he'll have to), I would say just tell him to give her a little bit of money for school but it really shouldn't be all that he is talking about now. I think it's okay if he wants to help her but I don't think he should let guilt send him overboard with his generosity.
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Re: I'm new here ....please help!
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she never suported him, he always had the money. I do know he feels guilty about leaving the marriage. He and she were to young to get married, but he went along with for her. Shes really is a good kid.
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Melody
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/06/06 09:02 PM
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He shouldn't pay anything
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unless a court orders him to pay. First...a marriage of 2 years would RARELY and I do mean very rarely be eligible for any spousal support. Second....she is capable of and does earn a living, so that resolves any claim for financial need. Third....her decision to want to attend ASU should have nothing to do with him....as he's not responsible for her once they divorce. If she had been out of the workforce for a number of years while they had a family, then that might be a valid argument in favor of spousal support. If they had been married for a significant length of time and she gave up a career to support his career, then again...a valid argument. YOu haven't described anything like that. It sounds like she just wants a meal ticket...and it sounds like maybe your boy is feeling a mite guilty and is willing to sign over more than he should be in order to appease his guilt. Don't let him do something this stupid. Turn the car back in and let each start over. Besides...almost $700 per month in SS is ridiculous!
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Re: He shouldn't pay anything
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he's doing uncontested divorce and being married for only 2 years, I didn't think he needed to pay support. But thta said her family thinks so and they want him to take care of her and her way of life. She comes from a poor family and he does well. So I guess he thinks he needs to take care of her until she is on her feet and able to do it for herself.
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Susanf31
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/07/06 08:37 AM
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Re: He shouldn't pay anything
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Well, that would certainly be a very NICE thing to do. But regardless of what her family "thinks", he doesn't have to do it.
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Buckeye
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/07/06 12:15 PM
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Re: He shouldn't pay anything
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First off, he should pay anything.
But, if he is wanting to do this and NO one can talk him out of it, maybe he can have a declining amount that he pays so that at the end of "2 years" - the amount of time they were married, that he is off the hook.
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Re: Tell him to tell her...
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I'm just going to go ahead and assume that he knows that he doesn't and probably wouldn't have to pay her anything.
They have been together so long and they are still so young even though they've only been married 2 years. Her family tells him he owes her. She tells him she wants some help going back to school. He feels bad that it didn't work out and money is clearly not a problem for him at all.
If he has the money and wants to help her out then good for them. He'll do it not because of a court order but because a) he will agree to it in a settlement with her that a judge will approve and b) it will make him feel good about how he left it with her and that he was a stand up guy who cared about this woman greatly.
I'm glad that there are still people like this around.
Many of us are conditioned by our experience to think that there's no way in hell we would actually volunteer to pay or support the losers we used to be married to, any more than a judge would make us. And then there's a naive guy like this who doesn't have that negative experience to draw on and who is being guided by a desire to do right by his STBX and friend.
I think it's sweet.
At the same time, it's a big assumption I made.
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Avaya
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/07/06 03:44 PM
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Re: Tell him to tell her...
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Also, if he DOES agree to have his financial help written in the divorce settlement, he can have it written that he will pay her car lease which will be considered alimony - therefore he gets the alimony deduction on his tax return (and she claim's it as income). Money's paid on her behalf are considered alimony as much as cash in her hand.
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Re: I'm new here ....please help!
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I can understand your son's desire to help his STBX to transition to post-divorce life. I'm sure he is feeling sorry for her, and possibly guilty for the breakdown of the marriage. I'm also sure that these emotions are behind his desire to agree to help support his STBX post divorce. This is very short sighted since these feelings will fade once he starts to move on with his life. He's young and I'm sure he will find a new relationship. When he does he will probably be sorry that he agreed to help support his STBX when he didn't have to. Also, what if his STBX gets into a new relationship and your son is stuck contributing to her support since he legally agreed to do so even though he didn't have to. I'm sure he would really be upset.
Your son can contribute in some fashion to her support without being court ordered to do so. By this I mean that your son should not agree to voluntarilly pay for things in a formal divorce agreement that a judge is not likely to award if the case were to go to trial. That way he is not legally obligated to pay SS, car payment, or school, but he can do so outside the court order if he chooses to. This way he can end it if the situation changes in the future.
As far as paying for the car goes, Why should he obligate himself to pay for a four lease which is longer than the two year marriage? That doesn't make sense to me. If she can't afford the car lease then the car should be turned in and she should get a car that she can afford. Paying for the car will only enable her to make poor choices and not adjust to her new situation. These types of money issues are not solved with money.
I also understand why her parent's think your son needs to pay her spousal support. Her parent's don't want to support her so they want your son to continue to do so. If her parent's didn't teach her to be self supporting it shouldn't become your son's problem post divorce.
I do think that it is a good idea for her to go school so that she can better support her self. If your son wants to help her with tuition, books, etc. that would be a very loving and generiuos thing to do. If he does do this I would recommend establishing ground rules first such as she needs to maintain a certain GPA. I would also pay the school directly rather than her.
Good Luck!!!
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Avaya
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/07/06 04:39 PM
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Re: I'm new here ....please help!
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I agree that he should not pay for anything, I don't think a judge would make him pay for anything. BUT if he just can't help himself and feels he must, he should make it count toward alimony so that he gets a break on his expenses. BUT, if you can convince him not to do anything, that's what I'd vote for!
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Buckeye
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/07/06 06:48 PM
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Re: I'm new here ....please help!
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I meant to say that he should pay anything!!!
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Miranda
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/07/06 08:42 PM
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Re: I'm new here ....please help!
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[quote]I meant to say that he should pay anything!!! [/quote]
What?? Twice now LOL...
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Lucy44
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(old hand)
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11/08/06 08:18 AM
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Re: I'm new here ....please help!
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[quote][quote]I meant to say that he should pay anything!!! [/quote]
What?? Twice now LOL... [/quote]
LOL! I wouldn't have noticed the 2nd typo if you hadn't pointed it out.
I'd like to add my 2-bits:
Howabout he pays her a modest monthly amount until the house is sold, and the proceeds - if any, are split. I think that would be a very fair way to help her out. As for the car...hell no! She has to learn to live within her means. As for the education, why didn't she go to college while her H was bringing home good money, instead of working for $12 an hour, which they probably didn't even really need?
I'm not knocking her for choosing to further her education, but her timing is questionable. Besides, as we have so often discussed on these boards, she could work AND go to school, or take out a student loan.
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leegirl
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(Pooh-Bah)
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11/08/06 08:52 AM
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Re: With a 2 year marriage...
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"He wants out and feels bad for her."
This sounds like my husband. Paying her in this way is not the way to help her, the relationship didn't work out, tell your son that "I'm sorry" will suffice. With her family pushing her in this matter, your son might learn that "no good deed goes unpunished" in an unpleasant way.
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