Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/20/12 04:33 PM
Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

My husband and I have been married 1 year. We have an 8 and a half month old daughter and he has an 8 year old from a previous relationship where he has 50/50 custody. I was a stay at home mother while he worked out of town for weeks and home for 2-4 days because his position got cut and was forced to travel or have to quit.

His net income is $27,000/yr and mine is zero. He is 38 and I am 28 years old. I am living with my aunt, and am unable to work because I have no money for daycare or a sitter. My husband is trying to tell me that just because I have lots of family here, that I should be able to get a job at least part time. I disagree though as it is HIS responsibility not my family to support me whether it be with money or daycare.

I have filed for disolution of marriage, and am asking for $650 in child support and $650 every two weeks in alimony.
We have no marital assets.

I am one semester away from a BS in Elementary Education, and I believe he should pay for my books and final exam, along with daycare for me to finish school.

Because of his affair in july, he forced me out of the house in December because the lease was up. He is now renting a house in the same neighborhood and I am forced to live at my aunt's house.

I have also filed for temporary custody/relief, and while he keeps trying to get me to have his daughter overnight for 3 to 4 nights at a time on the 2 weeks he is off, I have told him that because he has a girlfriend, and because he is essentially a stranger to his daughter because of his work schedule, I am only allowing him to see her in a public place such as a park. He has begged me and begged me to then at least let my daughter come over for 4 hours because his son is missing her, but I still think and have told him a public place is better for her right now until a judge makes a final judgement.

What are my chances of receiving what I am asking for? He tells me it is not going to be a good thing when it goes to court because he says I am preventing him from being with his daughter. I am only looking out for her best interests.

BTW.. I filed both sets of papers with no attorney and I know he cannot afford one either, so I am expecting him to answer his petition by himself.


Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/20/12 05:53 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

First, his girlfriend is irrelevant to any of the issues. I understand that it upsets you, but it is not a legal issue. If adultery was involved, the court may consider it only to the extent it affects the best interests of the child.

Second, alimony/spousal support is extremely unlikely based on a one year marriage and at your age. If any is awarded, it would be extremely short term. It is true that it is likely you will be required to find employment or some other means of support.

The court may consider the following things in Florida for Spousal Support:
- Adultery of either spouse during the marriage, and the circumstances surrounding it
- The standard of living established during the marriage
- The duration of the marriage
- The age and health of both spouses
- The financial resources of each party
- The time necessary for either party to acquire sufficient education or training to enable that party to find suitable employment
- All sources of income available to each party

Third, his parenting time may depend on many things including his past history of care with the child. If he has cared for the child in the past, it would be difficult to argue that now, because you are getting a divorce, he should have only supervised access. Certainly, if there were to be supervised parenting time, that would not last long and it would move to a more regular parenting schedule to include overnights. Keep in mind that if you deny the other parent access unreasonably, that can be used against you in court. Also keep in mind, that he is the parent of the child= and that child was born during the marriage. As a result, in the absence of a court order, there is nothing that precludes him from having the child in his care at any time.

In short, I think your expectations are over-reaching and unlikely to be realized.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/20/12 07:17 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

So you are saying you believe it is extremely unlikely I will receive any alimony because of my age and length of marriage? So for asking for $1200/month in alimony until I remarry you think is a bit unreasonable?

How much of a factor will his income to monthly expenses be? When I left, he basically has all the same bills. I do not have rent,utility,car payment,etc. If he nets 2300/month and his monthly bills come to 2000.00/month, wont he be liable for the extra $300.00 to pay me in alimony? With me not having any income, his CS will come to about $490.00. He is still paying my car insurance and health insurance of (80 for car and 350 month for health insurance), but I think he should be still paying for my phone, gas, food expenses, and my school loan of 120 a month.

I am not arguing with you, I just want to be clear on what you are saying.


Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/20/12 10:14 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

There is absolutely NO CHANCE you would receive spousal support until you remarry. The only question is, if any spousal maintenance is awarded at all, how short will that duration be. It is unlikely to be longer than the length of your very short marriage.

ssmom79
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/20/12 10:30 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I'm from Florida. My sister was married four years and had a child with him. When they divorced due to his infidelity she asked for child support and alimony based on the fact she never worked, was a stay home mom, and he was the only breadwinner. She was not awarded any spousal support. The judge said the marriage was not long enough and the difference between the income of the two parties was not disproportional in a way the court found warranted even rehabilative alimony just to get her on her feet.

ssmom79
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/20/12 10:34 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

It is very unlikely you will be awarded any alimony.

You will be awarded child support. They will input your wages at minimum wage and they will use his wages to put in the child support calculator to determine the support. He will also be responsible for a portion of medical coverage and daycare expenses. Those are also included in the child support calculation in Florida.


Debi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 08:47 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

You have to be joking....He makes 27k a year and you want 1300 a month PLUS CS? Never going to happen as he doesn't even MAKE that much.

You are young and apparently intellegent since you are almost finished with college. It's time to learn to stand on your own feet. You should feel ashamed for wanting a man to support you. Where are the women in your life who should have been teaching you to be strong and independant and not to rely on anyone to take care of you?. That is one of the FIRST things I've taught my daughters and I'd smack the snot out of them if they ever depended on someone else to finance their way through life.


googledad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 08:52 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

You're asking for $1950 of his monthly net income of $2250 ? Good luck with that .

BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 10:11 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

You are asking for $23,400 of his NET of $27,000 -- that leaves HIM $3,600 per YEAR to live on?????? He has NO responsibility to pay your student loans, utilities, phone, etc. He honestly has no responsibility to pay your car insurance either and your medical benefits **not the child's** will not be allotted to him to pay for. There are very few insurance companies that will permit a divorced spouse to remain on a policy.

With all due respect, you've lost your MIND.

You'll graduate in a few months, and be able to secure employment. Not working at least part time while you're in school is irresponsible of YOU. He has no obligation to pay for your books or your final exam.

Daycare is the only place that I can see him being held responsible for, in addition to child care but the most likely scenario is that you'll get imputed wages, which will define what you're going to pay for daycare also. You can ask that he provide medical insurance for the child since you're not working but he'll get a credit on his child support figure to allow for that.

Get it together, you're about to join the real world.


hanzblinx
(enthusiast)
02/21/12 10:32 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"What are my chances of receiving what I am asking for?"

lmfao !!!! about zero divided by infinity. Are chicks really this dumb??? Do they really think the world owes them a living just for being female?


hanzblinx
(enthusiast)
02/21/12 10:54 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

[quote]My sister was married four years and had a child with him. When they divorced due to his infidelity she asked for child support and alimony based on the fact she never worked, was a stay home mom, and he was the only breadwinner. She was not awarded any spousal support. [/quote]

I was married 12 years, my wife was SAHM never worked a day in her life. She got 18 months alimony, and it was less than 10% if my income per month.

when I see this women expecting lifetime alimony at 90% of his net after 1 year marriage, I cant imagine she is serious. Men are not lottery tickets honey.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/21/12 11:19 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Ok, so maybe I may be overdoing it, but I think alimony of $650.00 per month is more than fair in this situation. $650.00 plus child support is fair. He says he left me because of the way I was treating his son and because his son's mother would not allow him over at our house anymore if my husband was not there with me. Then he cheated on me and to me, that is the reason for this marriage to be over.
I am sure his girlfriend is helping him with bills also (though no proof). I believe she has lived with him for a month since separation.

Anyways, I do not have a lawyer, I am going to do this by myself. Does anyone have any advice they can give me on how to approach any of this with a judge.

Why did no one comment on my daughter's situation or am I to assume I am being reasonable? my husband says that his son and him (sparingly because he had to work out of town) were with my daughter 7 months out of her 8 and a half months of life and he is not a stranger, but I disagree. He went weeks upon weeks without seeing her when working, and even though his son saw her alot more, he isnt the one taking care of her. My husband has a set schedule of 3 weeks on and 2 weeks off for the entire year of 2012, and he says he will be asking for those 2 weeks to be with his daughter and son all three together. THAT is not going to happen. He is delusional. I am asking for custody of the three weeks he is working, and on the two weeks he is off.. he can have her both weekends, and one of those weeks to include a thursday. MORE than fair.


Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 12:04 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I am afraid that you are still way off what is likely. I would suggest you consult with an attorney to get a bit of a reality check.

I did comment on the issue of the child and, my impression, based on the rest of the post, is that you are likely being unreasonable. However, only a full review of the situation would make that a bit more clear.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/21/12 12:55 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

My husband raised his son from birth until he was 3 by himself because the mother did not want to be a mother. She then came back in the picture and was still awarded 50/50. During the years, I pushed him to try and get more custody of his son and he now says he will make sure to prove to the judge how I pushed him to get more custody of his son but will not allow his daughter to go to his house. No way they will be related.

Also, my car is not working right, the battery light is on. I have told him that he is responsible for paying for getting it fixed but he is still refusing by simply telling me to get a job. How can he leave me stranded with no vehicle with an 8 month old?

He says I am on "vacation" because when I left in December I went to my mothers house for a week.. then went to my fathers for a few days for xmas. I then went and stayed with a friend for 3 weeks 6 hours away. I went back home for about 2 weeks and am back up here for now 3 weeks. What business is it of his what I am doing? I cannot get a job because of no money for sitters and he is telling me i am on vacation touring Florida. That is kind of nervy on his part.

Another thing he is pissed about is when we seperated, he agreed for me to move 6 hours away in Florida so I could get back on my feet, get a job, save money, and move back up in July to finish my last semester of school. He wanted my daughter the two weeks he was off but I said no.. I told him we could do 1 week for a bit and then 2 when she was comfortable being away from her mother. Since he is a stranger to her in my eyes, I told him none of that will happen because A. He is recanting on helping me with money and B. I am recanting on what we agreed because he recanted on our marriage. He has threatened me to get the cops or someone involved so he could be with her at his house, but I am not budging until a final judgement or temporary orders are passed, especially if he has a girlfriend at the house.

Yes, he is a good father, but he has not been around in his daughter's life to warrant what he wants. Yes, I agreed to him traveling to make money but I did not agree to being divorced 6 months later. He calls me selfish and controlling and cannot be with me.. but he made a promise when we married. He cannot get off that easy.


hanzblinx
(enthusiast)
02/21/12 01:01 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"but he made a promise when we married. He cannot get off that easy."


You are the one filing for divorce. Have you considered you are the one breaking the promise?

And the story about your battery light is a tear jerker. Definitely share that with the judge. I went through an entire box of kleenex.


Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 01:10 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I understand you are angry. Unfortunately, that does not mean the legal issues you wish to raise are valid. Based on your most recent post wherein you state he is a good father, I think the likelihood of achieving your goals (based apparently on anger) are slim.

I would agree that your demands appear selfish and controlling but that is a personal opinion


hanzblinx
(enthusiast)
02/21/12 02:27 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

[quote]

I would agree that your demands appear selfish and controlling but that is a personal opinion [/quote]

All alimony is selfish. How can taking someone's income by force to line your own pockets, while rendering nothing in return not selfish? It's theft. And thankfully this chick wont get a dime of it because she pulled the ejection handle 10 years too soon and doesn't even know it.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/21/12 02:35 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I am pretty confident going into this. I do not think I am being unreasonable in really any aspect of this case. I told my husband if he reallly wants to see his daughter so bad, I have told him he can drive 6 hours to where I am at and visit here, but he is not taking her back home nor is he staying at a hotel. He can find a park or mall and be with her.

gr8Dad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 03:00 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"I told my husband if he reallly wants to see his daughter so bad, I have told him he can drive 6 hours to where I am at and visit here, but he is not taking her back home nor is he staying at a hotel. He can find a park or mall and be with her."

Yet YOU are the one that moved? Not gonna happen, and HOPEFULLY, you will end up the noncustodial parent, because frankly, you are a selfish bytch who doesn't deserve the kids.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/21/12 03:19 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Our lease was up. We agreed for me to move to southern florida. He said due to him not being able to afford my rent or living expenses, the move down south was mutual, not just me. He told me if I had no rent, no utility, no car payment, no cable.. and that I have 20+ family members here, that I should be able to get a job and save money for me to move back up before my semester of school. However, it is not my families responsibility to babysit for me. I have NO MONEY for daycare or a sitter. AGAIN, he says to me he remembers family members years ago of mine begging for us to move down there and they would baysit my daughter. AGAIN, it is not their responsibility, it is HIS.

He has only given me $340.00 since I left December 16th. He refuses to pay for my cell phone bill or even buy me a tracfone, pay for my car to be fixed, etc. His arguement is because A. I wont give him the address to where I stay when at a friends house for weeks, and B. He refuses to give me anything because I only will allow him to see his daughter at a park and not allow her to go to his house.


Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 03:32 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I believe you are in for a rude awakening.

Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/21/12 03:48 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

When I left December 16th, I only had $200, and by Jan, I recieved one package of baby goods, (diapers, wipes, food, formula) lasted about a month and $100, then another $100 in the beginning of FEB, and just yesterday I had to have a friend drive me an HOUR to his city to pick up $140.( because without a reliable car, im limited to doing things by her schedule) So in 2 months ive only recieved $340 and some things to help get by, I have a cell phone bill that he has been paying for while we were married, I got a large bill and now he refuses to pay it?! How is he suppossed to keep in contact with me about our daughter? I'm not on my Email 24/7 responding to his emails. In the least I need a safe car to drive, and cell phone for emergencies. Like I stated before, I cannot get a job, because i cannot afford daycare.
My husband even had the audacity to offer me to drive his girlfriends car or his car while she is out of town for work, as he will not need both cars around. I do not want a hand-me-down car for 3 weeks, I want my own vehicle fixed. Your telling me a judge will not look at all this info and think he is scum just like I do? He doesnt deserve to see his daughter because he failed to keep his promise to always protect and provide for me.

He worked out of town for 2-3 weeks, and would come home for a few days. His daughter only saw him every few weeks, and now he thinks its best for her to stay with him for 3-4 overnights? She needs her mother, her and I have a bond that dad cannot fill.

After his affair in July, I lived with him and our daughter and his son, til December when the lease was up, then right before chiristmas I had to pack up my life and move into one bedroom I share with my daughter. He stayed in the house til Jan 12 when the house would go back up for rent, and moved into a house right across the street. So im screwed, and have nothing to my name, and he gets a house, stable car, and happy life with his new girlfriend, and Im left with taking care of, raising, and providing for a baby? How am I unrealistic??!!


Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 04:06 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I am sorry, but the more you respond, the more it is reinforced that you are tilting at windmills. He offerred you a vehicle that you are simply to angry to accept. That certainly is informative regarding the major issue driving your demands - anger. Unfortunately, that is not a legal issue. You will have to find ways to cope without tilting at windmills in a court system. The debt issues are addressed in divorce separate from spousal support.

You are entirely unrealistic on spousal support and, it seems, so myopic in your anger that you are using your child as a way to punish the father. The bottom line is that you will be required to find work and you will have to find ways for affordable chid care or allow the father to care for the child when you work.

I wish you child good luck and hope he/she survives this divorce in the best possible way.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/21/12 04:41 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I will make sure and post back what the temporary orders will be after the hearing. Again, I am asking for him to keep paying my car insurance and health insurance.. $650 alimony and $650 child support. Limited overnights since I am sure he will not be granted any.. but until i get a judgement, he is to remain to only seeing her at a public meeting place.

hanzblinx
(enthusiast)
02/21/12 06:35 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"I got a large bill and now he refuses to pay it?!"

lol! the sheer level of entitlement is unprecedented. I know exactly how this is going to end. And it involves you paying all your own bills for the next 60 years. If I knew where your husband lived I'd send him 10K for a lawyer. The guy made my day.


ssmom79
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 08:07 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

You won't get alimony. He won't be ordered to pay your car insurance. He won't be ordered to pay your health insurance. You will get child support. Be as confident as you want. But you're in for a reality check in Florida. You should see a lawyer, they often do free consultations. They can give you a real idea of what the likely outcome will be.

javajunkiee
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/21/12 08:59 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

He'll be ordered to pay child support. Ask for daycare costs and that he cover her under his health insurance.

Also, the fact that the two of you agreed to your move isn't going to have much weight. The moving parent usually pays the transportation costs to visit the other parent.

Yes, you will be expected to get a job and contribute to your daughters care and to support yourself. You will be expected to pay your own cell bill. Pay your own car insurance. Pay for your own room, board, food, car repairs.

So he broke his vows. Yes, that sucks, its wrong, and no way he should have done that to you or to his daughter. That does not entitle you to alimony. You are a healthy woman, capable of being self-sufficient and are choosing not to because you're pissed. Rightfully so, but the judge isn't going to care. Go into court with the attitude you're displaying here and the judge is going to be FAR harsher on you than anyone here.

After all, HE is the one who is responsibly employed and can provide for his daughter. HE is the one with a home and who isn't sleeping on a couch or in a relative's guest room because he's killing time before going back to college. HE's the one making the effort to see and care for his child, and you are the one denying him his right to do so. Your making excuses and pointing at your stbx and saying "but, but, he saidddd he would do...." isn't going to fly any more than it would for a 2yr old with their hand in the cookie jar before dinner.

You are soooo way over the top in what you think he should be doing for YOU, you're not *remotely* realistic. You are not entitled to any of the things you are demanding for yourself. You couldn't control him when you were MARRIED to him, do you really think you're going to get control of him *NOW* through his wallet?

Adjust your attitude or you're going to make things worse for yourself. At 28yrs old it's time to stop being naive and dependent like you were when you were 14.


gr8Dad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/22/12 06:22 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Well, GEE, you won't tell him where you are LIVING, for WEEKS with the children, and you won't give him unsupervised time with the child. I wouldn't give you CRAP either.

Debi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/22/12 11:21 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Holy Cr@p. I don't think I've ever seen someone so delusional. Keep it up and he probably will get custody. You can not deny him access to the child you mutually share, and you can't set all of the terms and expect him to abide by them. He doesn't have to drive 6 hours when you are the one who left the area. Not to mention you keep moving around. not looking good for you. You are not providing a stable home for your child.

He is not going to have to support you and he will have to provide half the support for the child. There is no way he will be ordered to pay any of your bills. Consider the money you have received a gift because he has not had to provide you with one penny. At this point I am embarrassed for you.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/22/12 12:45 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"Consider the money you have received a gift because he has not had to provide you with one penny."

Its not a gift when im entitled to half of his income, we're not divorced yet, He left me, he owes it to me to help since im not able to myself at the moment.

Okay, so set aside my attitude or anger, both sides of our family agree with me! They think he is at fault and should have to provide. And for the record, I have to come back to North FL becuase my and my daughters Doctor is still up here and I needed new glasses as my RX isnt strong enough anymore, and my daughter had a check up, so I came up here for those appts, ill be returning back south once STBX fixes my car.
Well now you all have me worried that he is going to get off easy,, He asked me to see his daughter Thursday at the park for one hour unsupervised and sunday unsupervised with his son. And I told him that there is no way in he11 he can be alone with his daughter, I do not trust that he doesnt take her and keep her, and not bring her back. In a courts eyes, is this considered holding his daughter away from him? He can see her whenever he wants as long as I have a ride to where he is and have 24-48 hours notice so I can arrange a ride. He holds his money over my head because he knows im dependent on him.

O and another thing... When he moved out of the rental we shared, he got a bill of 4800 for past back rent, and I painted the house, so for a bill to repaint back to white, he is asking that I pay 1/2 of that bill. Am I responsible for that $2,400? I dont believe I am because I dont have a job.

Do you believe that if he refuses to fix my car, get me a phone, or pay for my new glasses or contacts, that the judge will see him lacking on his duties as a father and husband. If he truely cared about the well being of his daughter, he would make sure I have everything I need to raise her. Correct?


javajunkiee
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/22/12 01:36 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

You are Not entitled to half his income. Where the heck are you getting that from?!

Here's where I think your biggest issue is: You are pissed off and have your family chirping in your ear about how he's wronged you, and you're coming up with all of these ideas about what you're "entitled" to.

Newsflash: The judge who decides the custody, child support and divorce settlement will not be basing his decisions on MORAL guidelinrs but on LEGAL ones. You & your families anger is not only irrelevant, but it could cause more harm than good.


Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/22/12 02:13 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Yes, withholding the child could be used in court as a willful interference with his parenting relationship. Keep in mind that with no Court order your spouse has ever right to care for his child and he does not require your permission.

You indicate that he holds money over your head for leverage. That is precisely what you are doing with your child. Which is worse?

With regard to the assets and debts. All are deemed marital and capable of division. However, if he has the greater ability to pay the debts, he may be required to pay more than half. It is also possible that he is awarded a greater share of the assets to compensate for that contribution.

What employment did you have before marriage? Have you looked for such a job again now? Keep in mind that at some point in the near future you will be required to do so. The sooner you get started, the better off you will be financially. That may mean relying on family and/or friends to assist with child care. Have you checked to see if you state has any type of daycare assistance? It appears that you may qualify for the Temporary Cash Assistance program in Florida. You should look into that. You may also qualify for childcare assistance. "If your children are not yet in school, the only way you can realistically find employment is if you have someone to care for your kids. The Florida Department of Health and Human Services offers help for those who need financial assistance for childcare while they work through the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program (TANF: .dcf.state.fl.us/ess/)."

There is information available at
w w w.singlemomfinancialhelp.com/state-assistance-programs-for-single-mothers/florida/


I am sure that many people reading your posts will have difficulty sympathizing with you. Just look at the responses you have received. You were married for ALL of ONE year and yet come off as if you are entitled to something. You are not. It was ONE year. I would suggest trying to alter that type of perception in court or the response you will get is likely to be sympathy for your spouse for enduring that ONE inexorable year.


ssmom79
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/22/12 03:35 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Do you believe that if he refuses to fix my car, get me a phone, or pay for my new glasses or contacts, that the judge will see him lacking on his duties as a father and husband. If he truely cared about the well being of his daughter, he would make sure I have everything I need to raise her. Correct?
_________________________________

No that isn't correct at all. Fixing your car, fixing your glasses, getting you a phone, seriously, LISTEN TO ME HERE, seriously if you go asking for that you will be laughed right out of court. He is responsible for helping take care of your daughter. PERIOD.

YOu are NOT entitled to half his income. You split your ASSETS...things you own, a house, a car, furniture. NOT INCOME. You also split liabilities, like back rent and charges for painting a house, things like a car payment or any credit cards. So you get half the good and half the bad. Not having a job is an excuse and it won't cut it.

You have to be a troll. I mean you can't actually think what you are saying is correct. Because you are so far off base, you're in a football field.


gr8Dad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/22/12 05:42 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"And I told him that there is no way in he11 he can be alone with his daughter, I do not trust that he doesnt take her and keep her, and not bring her back."

I understand that fear, he might take the child and refuse to allow you overnights or unsupervised parenting time...LIKE YOU ARE DOING TO HIM!!!


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/22/12 07:30 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I am sorry if I have offended any of you. And no, I am not a troll. I do not even know what exactly means to be honest. I just came here for advice nothing more.

If my husband works three weeks on and two off, what percent of possibility do you think he has of having my daughter those 2 weeks? I know you are all going to say "well, you havbe him for 3." What will the judge be looking for to make that determination to or not to allow that.

So basically you are all saying I have close to zero percent chance of any type of alimony. He will pay child support, and we will split daycare.

So, if he cancelled me off his health insurance and car insurance tomorrow, there would be nothing I could do or that the judge would deem as wrong?

So asking for even $200.00 alimony you think is unlikely?

My husband is super pissed off because he says not only am I keeping my daughter from him, but also from his 8 year old son. His son though does not pertain to any legal matter here for this, and while maybe I see why he is pissed, it really does not have anything to do with him and I doubt a judge would weigh heavily on that.

You all make it sound like if I did get an attorney he would not try and fight for what I think is right. You really believe an attorney would say I am delusional like some of you think I am?


gr8Dad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/22/12 07:58 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"And no, I am not a troll. I do not even know what exactly means to be honest."

A troll is someone who comes onto a message board and tells n outlandish story in order to get a reaction.

"If my husband works three weeks on and two off, what percent of possibility do you think he has of having my daughter those 2 weeks? I know you are all going to say "well, you havbe him for 3." What will the judge be looking for to make that determination to or not to allow that."

That would be EXACTLY what I would say. You are going to HAVE to share custody of the kids, as you DO NOT have any valid reason NOT to share custody.

"So basically you are all saying I have close to zero percent chance of any type of alimony. He will pay child support, and we will split daycare."

Yep.

"So, if he cancelled me off his health insurance and car insurance tomorrow, there would be nothing I could do or that the judge would deem as wrong?"

He usually can't remove you until the divorce is final, but YES, he, by the regulations of MOST insurance companies, CANNOT keep you on the insurance once you are divorced.

"My husband is super pissed off because he says not only am I keeping my daughter from him, but also from his 8 year old son. His son though does not pertain to any legal matter here for this, and while maybe I see why he is pissed, it really does not have anything to do with him and I doubt a judge would weigh heavily on that."

Perhaps not the SON< but your refusal to allow ANY unsupervised time WILL look bad for you. He has all the grounds he needs to fight for SOLE custody, and you are showing to not be cooperative co-parent.

"You all make it sound like if I did get an attorney he would not try and fight for what I think is right. You really believe an attorney would say I am delusional like some of you think I am?"

I do not think a lawyer would risk their REPUTATION with the court to go in and make the requests you are making. Keep in mind, the lawyer has OTHER clients, and they will be in front of the same judge AGAIN and they do not want to look like the kind of lawyer who represents nut cases.


ssmom79
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/22/12 08:41 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

No alimony. Yes support and daycare.

No not even $200 alimony.

I believe your husband has to cover you on his health insurance until the divorce. I am unsure about auto insurance.

Yes an attorney will tell you you are reaching far beyond what you would be entitled to after one year of marriage. I'm sure he would do the best he could but the fact remains that you've been married only one year. The first thing FL takes into consideration is the length of marriage. You just don't have that.


javajunkiee
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/22/12 09:05 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Then the next thing will be are you healthy enough to work. Yes? Then why aren't you? You have a daughter to help support.

Think about it from the judges perspective: Perfectly healthy woman isn't willing to be responsible for supporting HERSELF, how can she be trusted to *help* support someone else? She won't work, is refusing to pay the bills she's running up, and won't let the father see his daughter.

If the words "uncooperative, unreasonable, and self-absorbed" don't make it into the judges notes, you'll be lucky. You'll also be lucky if YOU don't end up with supervised visitation.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/23/12 08:54 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I have thought about things and the one thing that kind of scares me the most is that when I left on Dec 16th, 2011, I let him have our daughter for 3 days (2 overnights) on New years. After that date, we got into an arguement about him telling me to stop travelling around Florida and get a job and refusing to pay things for me if I do not. I told him I cannot wait to see just how much he is he going to have to pay me by the judge and also that our daughter's last name will be changed to mine. He was irrate and called me a demeaning name. Since then, that is when I have refused to allow him to have her overnight and at his house with only supervised visits from me. Should I be worried? The main reason I keep telling him why he cannot have her outside of my stipulations is because he does not have the bond she and I have, that he is essentially a stranger to her and not familiar with her. I guess I should have not allowed her to go over there on New Years for those 3 days.

Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/23/12 10:50 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

He had your daughter alone for overnights two months ago and all was fine. Now a couple months later when you are in conflict, suddenly he is inappropriate. YES - I would say that is a BIG problem for you.

Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/23/12 11:10 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

What could the judge do or so, and is this from experience or personal non professional opinion

ssmom79
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/23/12 11:25 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Personal non-professional opinion. Do you mind if I ask what county in FL you'll be filing?

You could possibly get in trouble. Then again, you could get a slap on the hand and a big "no no don't do that again". You're in FL, FL is very old school, it's very difficult for a mother to "lose custody" of a child in FL. Your ex will need to be really smart to handle his own case or have a good lawyer.

That said, there isn't a reason you're withholding visitation that would be consider a good reason. Being demeaning? No, not going to cut it.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/23/12 11:30 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Alachua County, Florida.
My soon to be ex has stated that he does not want sole custody because he wants my daughter to have a relationship with the both of us 50-50. Plus, there is no way he can have sole custody as he is out of state working for 3 weeks on and then home for 2 weeks.


gr8Dad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/23/12 11:48 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"I have thought about things and the one thing that kind of scares me the most is that when I left on Dec 16th, 2011, I let him have our daughter for 3 days (2 overnights) on New years."

So he was OKAY to watch her when you NEEDED him to, huh?

"After that date, we got into an arguement about him telling me to stop travelling around Florida and get a job and refusing to pay things for me if I do not."

Sounds less like an "arguement" and more like a, "He told you to start acting like an ADULT and be a PARENT."

"I told him I cannot wait to see just how much he is he going to have to pay me by the judge and also that our daughter's last name will be changed to mine."

First off, you will get NOTHING for alimony, and second, NO, they will NOT change your daughters last name unless there are EXTREME circumstances, of which you have none.

"He was irrate and called me a demeaning name. Since then, that is when I have refused to allow him to have her overnight and at his house with only supervised visits from me. Should I be worried?"

Nope, not at all, PLEASE let the judge know that you have denied him parenting time because he called you a NAME in the middle of an ARGUEMENT, where you were demanding that he give you MONEY and pay your BILLS. PLEASE tell the judge that, your daughter DESERVES to be out of your care.

"The main reason I keep telling him why he cannot have her outside of my stipulations is because he does not have the bond she and I have, that he is essentially a stranger to her and not familiar with her. I guess I should have not allowed her to go over there on New Years for those 3 days."

Actually, "letting" (I put it in quotes, because you didn't LET him do anything, as the child is not YOURS to do with as you please) her spend the three days with him was about the ONLY thing you did RIGHT.


gr8Dad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/23/12 11:49 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"My soon to be ex has stated that he does not want sole custody because he wants my daughter to have a relationship with the both of us 50-50."

LOL, HE figured it out, and you are going to get SMOKED in court...


Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/23/12 12:02 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

What do I think a Judge will do? I think the Judge will allow immediate parenting time that is unsupervised and includes overnights. There are clearly extremely strong arguments for that to occur. If you continue to obstruct parenting time, a Judge could ultimately determine that the child should be placed with the other parent who is apparently willing to facilitate a relationship between the child and both parents.

yregna
(veteran)
02/23/12 02:13 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

lifeline,
I love your attitude, I really do...Women like you need to post more often to convince the regular ladies on here where the bell curve of attitude really falls.

Its pretty simple, right ? Once he signed that marriage contract, and you gave birth to the kid, he is your slave for life, right ? What is sooo hard to understand people ? SHE IF THE WIFE, SHE GAVE BIRTH, SHE SHOULD NEVER WORK AGAIN. Period, end of story.

Hope I cleared that up...


hanzblinx
(enthusiast)
02/24/12 10:56 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

This thread is the type of stuff that I send to my single buddies. It will be one of the more effective ones.

javajunkiee
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/24/12 12:32 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

This thread is an embarrassment to my gender. Its disgusting that these attitudes still exist.

You know, I absolutely think the delivery you two have is counter-productive and over the top, BUT, if you were faced with this type of entitlement during your divorces, I can at least understand WHY you're both so bitter.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/24/12 06:05 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Please help me with this.

Question: For the Child Support Guideline Sheet, it says it is to be filled out when both parties have the financial affidavits of both parties. He has mine and I have his. Mine states an income of zero. Is he supposed to fill it out with my stated income, or does he impute minimum wage income or will the judge do that if he feels necessary. Is he supposed to fill it out according with the schedule he is wanting (overnights) or my schedule? I just dont want him cheating on it making it appear something less.

SECOND QUESTION: I told him he could meet me where I have been staying for the last 3 weeks and see his daughter at the park under my supervision. My car was estimated at $400 to repair and obviously he refused. I told him since my friend has plans, I have no way to get to the park to meet him and I had to cancel his visit with his daughter. I am forced to take the train back down south next week since my car wont be fixed. He emailed and said my car and seeing his daughter are not directly related and he would pick me up at my friends house, but I do not want him knowing her address. I have a feeling I know what you all willl say, but is there ANY part of me that is doing what is necessary for my daughter's best interest?

I told him he can feel free to drive down south 6 hours to visit his daughter at anytime.


Debi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/24/12 07:28 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

"but is there ANY part of me that is doing what is necessary for my daughter's best interest"?

Absolutely not. Your stbx is right about everything he has said to you. You are in a world of hurt right now and you don't even know it. At this point you are lucky he has not filed an emergency order to see the child. i'm thinking that once the divorce goes through and you refuse to return to the area or take off again it will be hard to find a job in education with kidknapping charges.

I wish I knew how to gte in touch with your stbx. I'd give him all the advice I could on how to make sure he gets custody and you get supervised visits.


Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/24/12 07:39 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

He could get all the advice he wants, but just like me, he cannot afford a lawyer and will have to wing it as he goes. I am not afraid to give you his email as it is not going to matter what anyone says to him.. it is just non professional advice. bjean11684@gmail.com is his email. I look forward to him receiving not so smart advice.

Lifeline
(recently joined)
02/24/12 07:48 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Wait, if you are talking about a temporary custody motion, he does not have to.. I already did. I have beat him to everything filed so far which I read is good for me. He now has to wait until the hearing, and I hear temp orders usually become permanent, so I am liking my chances at this point. There is zero chance a judge will let a 9 month old spend 2 weeks with the father when he is off. Is not going to happen. She is too young.

Renny
(addict)
02/24/12 09:06 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Lifeline, about the cs worksheets, use the amounts in the affidavits and ont worry about imputed income now.

Be very careful giving out personal information here. The whole world can read these posts and you could endanger yourself nd husband in the process.


Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/26/12 12:07 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Not smart at all. Your arrogance and anger will likely be your undoing.

BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/26/12 10:46 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I realize I've only posted once to this thread and have read the postings from others I have a great deal of respect for.

Lifeline? You NEED to pull your head out of your butt and start acting in a productive manner. While YOU feel that it is the responsibility of your ex to provide for day care for your child, you also need to realize that it is YOUR repsonsibility also.

You are getting DIVORCED. Your ex's only responsibility to his daughter are to be the best parent that he can be **which I think he's trying to do** and to financially support your CHILD. NOT you. He's DONE with you. A marriage of one year's duration????? I repeat, he's DONE with you.

You're using your child as a weapon. She is young enough to adapt easily to whatever parenting agreement is set down. He will GET to know his daughter, he WILL get overnight visitation, he WILL get extended time with her and when school starts for her, it'll be adjusted accordingly to permit him the long weekends, summer vacation weeks, recesses from school. THAT'S the bottom line here.

Forgive me for saying this as I don't usually engage in name calling but you are a whiny BRAT. You will NOT be able to dictate his parenting time. You WILL have to get a job. You WILL have to figure out how to finish school, take your licensing exam and engage in menaingful employment. You will have to make your car payment, your insuance payment, your cell phone bill **why do you even have a cell phone if you're not working?** and every other bill that comes along with living out in the world.

Instead of moaning and whining about what you want HIM to do, why not ask YOURSELF what you're going to do? You're running around Florida, changing residences, staying with different people until they get tired of you crashing on their couches -- and YOU can provide greater stability???? Really?

Offering up his email address is pretty positive proof that you're somewhat less than intelligent -- do you realize that anyone on this thread could copy and paste EVERY WORD you wrote and send it to him? Talk about evidence -- this board and others are currently being USED in a custody dispute IRL. It's being taken VERY seriously by a court of law.

The only things that your postings clearly demonstrate is that you're unwilling to coparent, you're unwilling to do anything for the best interests of your child, you EXPECT and are DEMANDING that someone else pay your way through life on the basis of you HAVING that child. They demonstrate that you cannot provide any type of stable residence for your child, they demonstrate that you WON'T attempt to have family watch your child so you can finish school, you want it ALL on the basis of having only a.....less than two year relationship **based on the length of your marriage and the age of your daughter**

Your ex WILL win this -- and the advice that you're calling **not so smart** is DEAD ON.


fatheroffour
(recently joined)
02/26/12 03:01 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Luckily the OP is doing everything by the book to put dad in a good position for custody.

Goodmom
(Pooh-Bah)
02/26/12 03:44 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

[quote]is his email. I look forward to him receiving not so smart advice. [/quote]

I would like to point out that I am not an advocate for the assumption of 50/50 physical custody as it does not take the individual child into consideration. That said, here is what you are facing:

1. In Florida, if he requests 50/50 physical, he is very likely to get it.
2. Since he has had the baby overnight, without you, before, overnights will start right away and not be eased into.
3. You are NOT going to get spousal support on a year long marriage.
4. You will probably get some child support IF you don't end up the NCP.
5. You are really, really stupid for having posted his e-mail address. Do you realize that it is on the internet? And that people may be able to find him as a result. Oh, and as a result of being able to find him, they would be able to find his baby, as well. That's just not safe.
6. It is also really stupid to not let him see his child unsupervised. Nothing you have posted would indicate that he is a danger to his baby.
7. As a result of #5 & #6, you could (and should) very well end up being the NCP and paying him child support.

Now, get off the board and go find a job. You are going to need it. Because child support, should you end up with 50/50 or primary is NOT going to be enough for you to live off of.


M5M5
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/27/12 12:40 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Wow. You HAVE to be a troll. I can't imagine anyone in real life being this stupid. If you are real...and you want to LOSE custody of your daughter, keep doing what you are doing.

Please remember that most of us has been there and done that. We know what we are talking about. Heck, Maury is an ATTORNEY!! And you are saying his advice is "not so smart"? Wow.

BTW, the fact that your soon to be ex has 50/50 of his son will look GREAT for him. The fact that he is only wanting joint because he wants both parents in her life equally...looks great on HIM. You so far...are going to look like the bitter, hate filled ex wife (and bad mother) you are. Nothing you are doing is in your daughter's best interest. Nothing. A child needs BOTH parents.


A4H
(recently joined)
02/27/12 07:10 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I take comfort in the fact that Lifeline will be handed her head by the judge.

Debi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
02/27/12 03:19 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

OMG........You.Are. An. IDIOT.

finz
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
03/01/12 02:31 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I'm voting this troll was yregna

Maury
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
03/01/12 12:40 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I am not sure Yregna is capable of typing in full sentences.

Debi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
03/01/12 07:35 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

I agree with Maury about yrenga and I don't think this is a troll. I believe the story and that she is a young, dillusional girl with huge entitlement issues.

yregna
(veteran)
03/02/12 10:04 AM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

Maury,
I resent that, I really do...Here is a full sentence for you dribbling right off the fingertips.

I wish I could've made up this thread, truly amazing amount of Chutzpah. I just watched the movie TEETH, and I'm not sure which is more scary, that movie or this thread. After all, they can sew your Johnson back on, it'll probably be working within a year, but CS payments for this wingnut might last 18 years !

You know what they say about the crazy ones...


Gecko
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
03/11/12 08:40 PM
Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage

O. M. G. I'm not even sure where to start here.

First of all, you're NOT going to get spousal support; you are 28-years old and you were only married a year.

You're also NOT going to get him to pay for whatever for you to finish school. In fact, if he paid your tuition/books for the past year, he might be able to ask the Judge that you pay him back.

As for child support. That's going to depend on what the courts INPUT your income at (Florida uses Income Shares model). Even though you are currently unemployed, you ARE capable of working at least, a minimum wage job $1256). And once your finish your last term, you will be capable of earning a beginning elementary teacher's salary ($2830). Base support you would receive at minimum wage is approximately $400/month, at a teacher's salary $200/month. Child care and medical insurance is added to the base, apportioned and added/subtracted depending on who is paying.

Also...any money received in alimony is added to your income and subtracted from his...which would mean less child support. Also, you have to pay taxes on alimony.



Contact Us Divorce Source Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: