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Can kids be alone?
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I have two girls, one is almost 9 and the other is just over 10 and live in Illinois. I'm finding out that no one is home when they arrive from school and that they are riding their bikes to school by themselves. I consider this to be dangerous, specifically because not more than two months ago, a strange van with two men in it were taking pictures of them. Can anyone tell me specifics about the law in Illinois in regards to this? Basically, if this kind of thing went to court, would it change custody or just create tension? Or am I just being an overprotective parent?
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ssmom79
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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05/06/11 11:58 AM
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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Have you talked to your ex about the van? If a van was following my SD to school I would take her to school and I would also watch for that van so I could report them. I would not feel overprotective at all if that were the case.
The below link is to a word document from the State of Illinois website that talks about leaving children home alone, things to teach, and what the state looks for if they are defining neglect.
state.il.us/dcfs/docs/alone.doc
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MrsB
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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05/06/11 11:59 AM
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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I agree - good advice ssmom. Winning! ;)
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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The picture taking happened on her watch and she filed a police report yet her behavoir hasn't changed! It's been talked about, but that means nothing because she just does something different then she says the next day.
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ssmom79
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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05/06/11 12:12 PM
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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I deal with a person who says one thing and does another. Can you provide transportation for them to go and come from school?
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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Nope, I live in another town that is too far away.
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ssmom79
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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05/06/11 12:43 PM
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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How else would the children get to and from school?
I had to walk to school as a child. My mom had to be at work too early to drop me off and we lived too close to ride a bus. It happens a lot. Some schools have a two mile radius for walkers.
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SRS
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(Pooh-Bah)
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05/06/11 07:08 PM
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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What kind of plan do you have? It is easy to complain, but harder to come up with a reasonable idea to fix the problem.
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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My plan would be a change in custody that way there won't be these kinds of problems. It's not like she actually works much. She volunteers a lot and seems to put the kids second. Based on the previous two sentences, I won't even discuss where CS is going since that is a whole other issue and I know the courts don't care. Just seems that she would prefer to be out volunteering than taking care of her children and worrying about their safety.
From what I'm seeing from the responses, it is a don't care. I guess the kids will just have to learn to fend for themselves.
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SRS
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(Pooh-Bah)
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05/07/11 07:38 AM
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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Talk with Mom about getting them a cell phone.
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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She can't afford to send them to camp so I'm paying for the whole thing instead of my half. I'm sure she can't afford getting them a cell phone. Ya know, $1400 in CS a month doesn't go to far these days!!!!
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ssmom79
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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05/07/11 12:58 PM
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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Listen it is certainly not a don't care answer. But having them walk to school if they are in a walking zone, even if they were followed by a stranger and a police report was filed, is not going to be grounds for a change in custody. I'm sorry, you will need more than that. It's not the answer you want to hear, but it's a fair and honest one.
Have you asked her to take them to school since the incident? Have you expresses your full concern? How dis she respond?
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SRS
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(Pooh-Bah)
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05/07/11 01:20 PM
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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WHy don't YOU get them a pre-paid cell phone if YOU are that worried about them?
Talk it over with their Mom, tell her your concerns and why you are providing a prepaid cell phone with a small number of minutes.
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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These are two kids who constantly forget their coats at school. Any guess what would happen to a cell phone?
I just don't understand why volunteering for different things takes precedence over her children. Hell, she tutors other kids while one her own has a C and the other has a C and two D's. Stellar CP performance in my book.
Oh, they could take the bus since it stops at the corner of their yard, but one stays after school for a program a few days a week and then the CP would have to go pick her up. Heaven forbid we expend all the energy to do that.
In essence, the CP is too busy (but not producing an income) to be bothered and is spending the CS on household bills because she doesn't work. You would think if she doesn't work, the time would be dedicated to the kids. Or, if she did work that she could afford the extras for the kids. Instead the kids are stuck with a non present CP and having to go with out.
In the end, I guess it is my fault. I could just pay for everything and spend a portion of my day commuting to take them to and from school.
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ssmom79
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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05/07/11 03:46 PM
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Re: Can kids be alone?
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I'm sorry you feel that way. If you feel your ex is neglecting your children then bring it up. Talk to an attorney and explain your fears. Many will give a free consult. See what a lawyer in your area would suggest.
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