| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 11:07 AM |
Short Update on my Situation
|
Around the end of April I hired a lawyer in our county to have the case moved here & DS talk to the judge about living with me. Texas did away with kids 12+ filing a statement with the court 9/09, so now the kids just file a motion to talk to the judge directly. DS is 15. His Dad was served last week.
There are only 2 judges in Family Court in this county & the lawyer says they are both pro-mom. We just want DS to talk to the judge-- not any of that other stuff about ordering psychologicals or a GAL. DS is totally fed up with his dad.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/06/12 04:59 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Yeah, wouldn't want any PROFESSIONAL opinions, just want to take the word of a CHILD. The fact that you don't WANT professionals to evaluate his decision is DISPICABLE, and I hope the judge chews your ASS for dragging the child into to middle of the custody fight.
You are just a piece of...well, lets say WORK and keep this G rated.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 06:53 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Don't always agree with CJane's actions, but her son is 15, not 5. He's at an age where he can vote with his feet. And a judge IS going to give great consideration to the teen-ager's wishes. Whether you like it or not.
BTW, the father can always REQUEST the evaluations. Chances are it isn't going ot have an impact on anything. Chances are the judge is going to go with the teen-ager's wishes.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 06:54 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]There are only 2 judges in Family Court in this county & the lawyer says they are both pro-mom. [/quote]
That should have no bearing at all. What should is the wishes of the teen-ager.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/06/12 07:10 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Lets see if you feel the same when YOUR teenager gets MAD at you and wants to leave. I sincerely doubt you will give in to their wishes at that point. We, as PARENTS, have a RESPONSIBILITY to number one, make good decisions for our UNDERAGE children, second, to not allow them to make MISTAKES that could be avoided.
But the bottom line is that she has brainwashed this kid from DAY ONE, that Dad is an idiot, and she is "better". She degrades Dad in FRONT of the child, she EXCUSES any of the child's mistakes as DADS fault, and she is, overall, a crappy parent.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/06/12 07:11 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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So if your 16 year old wants to drop out of school, you will allow it?
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 07:45 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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This is totally ALLOWED in Texas. Kids TWELVE AND UP can make their preferences known in the judge's chambers. I'm doing nothing illegal. My point about the Dr. & GAL is that Ex & his bulldog lawyer like to ask for every professional they can to prove I'm incompetent. Guess what?? NO professional has said that.
There's no REASON to throw MORE $$ away. The judge can certainly ORDER it if she feels it necessary. I just don't want to start out with them ordering every evaluation under the sun. Pointless.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 07:46 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]So if your 16 year old wants to drop out of school, you will allow it? [/quote]
That IS against the law. This is not. And DS came to ME oh, about 4 months ago & asked if he could talk to a judge & live with me. Don't you think if he was MAD at his Dad for whatever it would have cooled off in the 6 months it'll take us to get to court??
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/06/12 07:50 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Really? Dropping out of school at 16 is "illegal"? Might want to check on that, as you are WRONG, with a parents signature, it is PERFECTLY legal to drop out at 16.
And if not ONE professional said Dad was not the BEST parent, why did you not get custody? Oh, yeah, because you didn't have sufficient time to BRAINWASH the child.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 07:56 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Not-so, reading comprehension problems much?? I said "found incompetent" NOT "best". We've dealt with 3 GALs & 2 psychiatrists & only the FIRST GAL found against me. And he was disbarred 2 years later for taking bribes on cases. Was mine one of them? I sure wish I knew.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/06/12 07:57 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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So, has your educated self (who DIDN'T know that a child could drop out of school at 16) come up with a CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCE to file for custody? BTW, JUST a child saying they want to live with the other parent doesn't cut it.
| finz |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/06/12 08:41 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote][quote]There are only 2 judges in Family Court in this county & the lawyer says they are both pro-mom. [/quote]
That should have no bearing at all. What should is the wishes of the teen-ager. [/quote]
**********************************************
My teenagers think they should be allowed to drink.
My teenagers think that I should have to pay for whatever they think they need and they don't have to bother getting a job.
My teenagers (boys) wish that we would give them more privacy when they are entertaining girlfriends.
My teenagers wish we would buy each of them a new car and pay for all gas/insurance/repairs.
My teenagers wish we would remortgage the house so that they could go to private college instead of state schools.
My teenagers hope that instead of living with either parent if we were to divorce now, they could live with their rich auntie because her family goes on better trips.
Think a judge would give them all that ?
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 09:39 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote] BTW, JUST a child saying they want to live with the other parent doesn't cut it. [/quote]
Does in Texas. Don't need another reason. Seems we BOTH don't get all our FACTS straight. ;)
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 10:17 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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You said:
Lets see if you feel the same when YOUR teenager gets MAD at you and wants to leave. I sincerely doubt you will give in to their wishes at that point.
My response:
While I don't have a teen-ager yet, I do have kids old enough that the courts would take their wishes into consideration. And both have gotten made at me and told me that they want to go live with the fun parent. Which is not me. Ex pointed out that he would no longer be a fun parent then. Oh, and they would have to change school systems. They don't ask to live elsewhere anymore.
You said:
We, as PARENTS, have a RESPONSIBILITY to number one, make good decisions for our UNDERAGE children, second, to not allow them to make MISTAKES that could be avoided.
My response:
Whether you like it or not, a judge is going to give the wishes of a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD a whole lot of weight. Probably enough that a change in custody is likely to happen. Something about not going against a teen-agers feet.
BTW, you are dead wrong (no surprise) about it being our job about not letting our kids make mistakes that can be avoided. How else are they going to learn if they don't make mistakes? Our job as parents it to teach them and let them make the mistakes and learn from them.
You said:
But the bottom line is that she has brainwashed this kid from DAY ONE, that Dad is an idiot, and she is "better". She degrades Dad in FRONT of the child, she EXCUSES any of the child's mistakes as DADS fault, and she is, overall, a crappy parent.
My response:
To be blunt, I think that they are both crappy parents who have bad mouthed the other parent to the child. In other words, both are guilty of what you stated above.
Doesn't change the FACT that a judge will give a whole lot of weight to the wishes of a teen-ager.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 10:18 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]So if your 16 year old wants to drop out of school, you will allow it? [/quote]
To be blunt, can't stop him. But he's going to have to get a full-time job and pay rent if he chooses not to go to school.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 10:21 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]So, has your educated self (who DIDN'T know that a child could drop out of school at 16) come up with a CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCE to file for custody? BTW, JUST a child saying they want to live with the other parent doesn't cut it. [/quote]
But a teen-ager refusing to go to the other parent's is.
For somebody who claims to have so much experience with family court, you sure don't know much about it when it comes to teen-agers, especially ones as old as the OP's son is.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/06/12 10:29 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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You said:
My teenagers think they should be allowed to drink.
My response:
Talk about apples to oranges. A teen-ager drinking alcohol is ILLEGAL. A judge giving a whole lot of weight to the wishes of a teen-ager is NOT.
You said:
My teenagers think that I should have to pay for whatever they think they need and they don't have to bother getting a job.
My response:
Another apples to oranges. A judge giving a whole lot of weight to a teen-ager's wishes is not the same as your assinine statement above.
You said:
My teenagers (boys) wish that we would give them more privacy when they are entertaining girlfriends.
My response:
So? Still apples to oranges. And has nothing to do with a family court giving a teen-agers wishes a whole lot of weight when it comes to where they will live. And to be blunt, while I don't agree with CJane's parenting style, her son is NOT GOING TO BE PLACED IN HARMS WAY or do poorly in school if his wishes are honored (which they are likely to be).
You said:
My teenagers wish we would buy each of them a new car and pay for all gas/insurance/repairs.
My response:
Still has nothing to do with what a family court does.
You said:
My teenagers wish we would remortgage the house so that they could go to private college instead of state schools.
My response:
Still has nothing to do with what a family court will do.
You said:
My teenagers hope that instead of living with either parent if we were to divorce now, they could live with their rich auntie because her family goes on better trips.
My response:
Still has nothing to do with family court other than if you should divorce, a judge would give their wishes a whole lot of consideration when it comes to WHICH PARENT THEY WILL LIVE WITH.
You said:
Think a judge would give them all that ?
My response:
Being facetious really doesn't help your argument at all. Nor does it change that a family court will give a lot of weight to the wishes of a 15 year old. Whether you like it or not.
| Avaya |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 08:18 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]Don't always agree with CJane's actions, but her son is 15, not 5. He's at an age where he can ....[/quote]
....be GREATLY manipulated and bribed.
[quote]Chances are the judge is going to go with the teen-ager's wishes. [/quote]
Which is so smart because teenagers are SO mature and knowledgeable! um, not.
| Avaya |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 08:19 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote] What should is the wishes of the teen-ager. [/quote]
Are you Crazy????? What should matter is who is the more capable parent that will meet the childs needs AND facilitate a relationship with the other parent (not that either of these parents have exhibited this ability.....)
| ssmom79 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 09:01 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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What should matter is who is the more capable parent that will meet the childs needs AND facilitate a relationship with the other parent (not that either of these parents have exhibited this ability.....)
TOTALLY AGREE Avaya. Whatever happens I hope it is in the best interest of the kid.
| annieo |
| (veteran) |
| 06/07/12 09:13 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Your DS will need to have clear and concise reasoning for this to work and believe me judges can tell the difference between a sincere child and a coached child.
My ss at 10 years old was able to speak with the GAL in such a manner as to have his wishes heard and understood without any coaching etc... NEVER coach the child - this backfired on the bm in my story.
| elliesmom |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 09:44 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Whether we like it or not once a child is at an age where they can "vote with their feet" their wishes carry a lot of weight in family court. Not because they deserve it, not because they make great decisions. But because they have the power to do what they want whether mom, dad, or a judge likes it or not. Imagine how much fun your life would be if your teen stopped seeking any approval from you - you can't beat them into submission. So if you are going to go to the effort of forcing a teen to do something, cops and all, it better be worth it. And unless the other parent is a danger - its generally NOT worth it.
And I know you seethe at the mere thought of CJane, gr8, but her ex is no gem either. My thought has always been that he is an ass and instead of taking aim at him with his asshattery she tends to turn the gun on herself and make it worse.
| Buckeye |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 11:34 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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My SIL's 15 year old son decided he wanted to live with BM and ran away and SIL had no idea where he was for over a month (he had not contact with SIL or BM). They went to court and SIL was agreeable for him to live with BM but told son that he would not be permitted to come back home because he told SIL that he hoped he died, he didn't want to have any contact with him ever again, etc.
Four weeks late, guess who wants to come home. Of course, SIL said no, he wasn't going to go thru this again every time 15 year got mad. One year later, he wants to come back "home" again - not because of SIL but because he wants to come back to be with his friends and his "girlfriend". And, BM is moving again, he doesn't want to go there - at least that is the story.
In this case, both parents were agreeable to the change so son didn't get a say.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 01:34 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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See, I am not so sure he isn't. We ONLY have her word (and lets be honest, would ANY of us like to be judged on the word of our ex's? LOL) and to be honest, she blames Dad for EVERYTHING, including what the CHILD does. There is really nothing Dad has done that I can point at and say, "Yeah, he is wrong for doing that."
Keep in mind, MOST of what she complains about is him following the ORDER, and he only STARTED following the order when she took him back to court. And in the middle of a court battle, in ANY case, the order gets followed to a TEE. She could not seem to grasp why he would not allow her ANY extra time, or give her ANY breaks...while she was SUING him for custody in court.
| elliesmom |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 03:06 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I can't remember specifics, but he has done some assholery things with the kid - jacking him around just to jack with her. But instead of dealing with it in a recordable actionable way she would then turn to the kid and pull a "See I told you he was an a-hole" thing. I hold him, as a CP, to pretty high standard. There is almost no excuse for them to live in the same NEIGHBORHOOD and her not have 50-50. He better be a SAINT. Because lets be honest - when you have 80 plus percent of the time, you have no need to dick over the other parent. They are getting that every day. I don't care how much they hate you. If it had an effect on my kid - we can go to a counselor etc. to deal with it in front of a 3rd party who will be my best witness in court - unless I actually am part of the problem.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 03:10 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Actually, I could be mistaken, but I believe a few years ago, when she filed the custody case, she DID get 50/50. Now she wants MORE time. Which makes you UNDERSTAND his reaction to her. At the time, it was, "I JUST want an equal amount of time with our child." So she GOT it, and NOW she wants it ALL. So the SAME amount of time SHE claimed was unfair to HER, she wants HIM to have. Guess its not a two way street with her.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/07/12 03:53 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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What happened was for a short time we worked TOGETHER so we each had 50% time. There were NO 1st, 3rd, 5th weekends--just every other weekend. I had Tuesdays, Thursday's, and EOW; Ex had Monday's, Wednesday's, and EOW. Schedule was what DS wanted. This worked from September to March. When I suggested we go back to court to make it legal AND NO CS WOULD CHANGE HANDS is when the sh1t hit the fan. I was told no way no how would CS be dropped & that's how we ended up in court in '06.
I was PLENTY good enough to have DS 1/2 the time; but don't cut off the CS which Exhole needs to cover HIS bills.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 03:56 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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And the OUTCOME in '06? I believe you said you got 50/50 at that hearing, right?
| elliesmom |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 04:01 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Honestly - I don't recall her having 50-50, but I do not recall everyone's story so I could be wrong.
But if her ex continued doing the kind of BS he did before while having 50-50? I could see how it would get to a point of needing custody. When you have 1 parent willing to use their time to thwart yours - 50-50 doesn't always work out. He was the kind of parent who if the kid wanted to do say, science olympiad, would refuse to let him go during his time because he (or his wife) couldn't take him and would refuse to allow cjane to do the transport. And refuse to pay half. Now, sure, maybe there is more backstory going on, but maybe not. There are few legitimate excuses that would have me stop waving the "you are a douche" banner in that sitch. NONE of those excuses include anything she has mentioned here doing - all that is stuff that you have to suck up as a divorced parent. If memory serves though she does pay CS, which is why I think she does not have 50-50.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/07/12 04:03 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Nope. Never had legal 50/50.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 04:52 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Okay, stop the bullsh!t dancing around with words like "legal 50/50", what was the outcome of the hearing? Did you LEGAL time go up or down? What is your LEGAL custody situation and parenting time AT THE TIME?
| elliesmom |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 06:14 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I could be remembering her story wrong - but she had 50-50 off the record. She wanted it on the record and to lower her CS. He immediately yanked 50-50 and they went to court over it. I assume she means she lost if she never had legal 50-50. He MAY have allowed her to go back to the 50-50 schedule once she lost in court; of course she would still be paying full CS. Which is total BS. I get why she hates the Mfer. I just don't always agree with some of the things she does.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 06:33 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I think I will wait for her to actually ANSWER what she ACTUALLY has. Honestly, I don't feel like searching for it, but I was pretty sure she got the order she wanted.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/07/12 07:07 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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My 'legal' time did not change from '09 (I stated '06 but I meant '09 earlier) Of COURSE Exhole STOPPED 50/50 and ALSO OF COURSE my CS went up.
I have the exact same LEGAL time as I've had since '06: Thurs. nite, 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekends, all holidays/vacations split).
The ONLY time we've actually worked TOGETHER for our son was that 7 months I mentioned before. Which ended in a New York minute as soon as I mentioned stopping CS & splitting everything 50/50.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/07/12 07:16 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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And as far as DS's reasons for wanting the change mainly it's school work and support for his studies. And he's tired of Exhole accusing him of being on drugs every time he turns around. Which he's not. And he wants to live in a place that actually feels welcoming to him & his friends. And he's tired of the constant drama, yelling, & screaming that goes on over at Exholes.
| elliesmom |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 07:17 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Is there any way (like an online record system) to show that your son does better in school coming from your home vs his fathers?
For example we were able to show that HW was always completed when they returned after our weekend, but never after hers (not kidding - NOT ONCE did they hand in HW on time following her weekends). Most teachers were willing to state that 2 weeks of work was done on our weekends. It may not be that extreme for you, but it can't hurt to show (if you can) areas where you are a better parent.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 07:24 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Well, would you care to tell us WHICH thing you are lying about? Because a search of your posts shows this post from July 31, 2009:
"I got everything I wanted. Well, nearly everything. 50/50 stays the same, I put $500/month in a college fund for DS and pay Ex- $200/month. Which is a little more than I'm happy with, but at LEAST I'll get to start DS a college fund now, which was the major point.
I am just glad it's all over. Hopefully I won't have to deal w/the Jerk until DS is 18 and CS is OVER!!!!!"
So, lets see, your child support went from $780 a month, to $200 a month, with you putting $500 a month in a college fund (thus it went DOWN), and you stated you got the 50/50 time ordered.
Well, actually, it WASN'T order, your "ex-hole" AGREED to it in mediation (you know, that SOB who won't agree to ANYTHING).
You are busted, time to come clean, are you lying NOW, or were you lying then?
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/07/12 07:48 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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You said:
....be GREATLY manipulated and bribed.
My response:
By BOTH parents. They are also old enough to recognize which parent would be the better parent to live with. When My aunt divorced her first husband, her teen-ager and almost teen-ager were savvy enough to recognize that living with their father would be better for them. My aunt recognized the wisdom of not going against a teen-agers feet. Because when she did, the oldest ran away. For two years. He never did finish high school, either. He is a successful business owner. And has been for over a decade,
You said:
Which is so smart because teenagers are SO mature and knowledgeable!
My response:
And some are even more knowledgeable than an internet stranger who thinks it is wise to go against a teen-agers feet.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/07/12 07:53 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote] Which ended in a New York minute as soon as I mentioned stopping CS & splitting everything 50/50. [/quote]
And there's where your mistake was. You should never have mentioned child support at all.
Just dealt with making the parenting time official with the courts and then addressing the child support once the judge signed off on the new plan.
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 08:34 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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That's the way I remember it as well. 50/50 time split but the problem was is she still had to pay CS. I thought it was because her state didn't recognize time share as a reduction for CS? Regardless of the % of time the NCP would still pay CS.
Anyway in NYS when my SD decided she wanted to come live with us at age 16 lawyer upon lawyer said it would be fight if Mom did not agree. The judge does take into account what a teen may want, BUT that is not the ONLY underlying factor. If they do have 50/50 time share and live that close to one another WHY would the kid have to MOVE? Down the street? Doesn't really make sense.
I know NY is different than other states, but I would hope a judge wouldn't just consider the mouth of a teenager.
| M5M5 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/07/12 11:07 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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oh...BUSTED! Gr8dad, I'm glad you searched it because I was thinking she had said she was awarded 50/50 too.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/08/12 11:29 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I don't remember writing that & I don't know why I would have since I never was awarded 50/50. My CS has ALWAYS gone up every time we went back to court.
As a matter of fact Exhole scammed me out of over $500 in DS's medical health premiums when he NEGLECTED to tell me his new company was paying ALL his premiums and I had to wait for court to find it out.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 11:54 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Yeah, you mentioned the same thing about the medical premiums in the same thread. So, were you lying then or now? I mean those ARE your words from YOUR post (I copied and pasted them).
| M5M5 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 03:09 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Yep...here's the link to the thread:
[censored]://[censored].divorcesource.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=561864&an=&page=&vc=1
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 04:40 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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My 'legal' time did not change from '09 (I stated '06 but I meant '09 earlier) Of COURSE Exhole STOPPED 50/50 and ALSO OF COURSE my CS went up.
I have the exact same LEGAL time as I've had since '06: Thurs. nite, 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekends, all holidays/vacations split).
The ONLY time we've actually worked TOGETHER for our son was that 7 months I mentioned before. Which ended in a New York minute as soon as I mentioned stopping CS & splitting everything 50/50.
-------------------------------------------------
In May 2010 there is a post to a thread where you talk about your current schedule and having 50/50 for two years the M, W, F and you T, TH with the alternating weekends.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 04:53 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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LMAO, wanna bet she don't come back and clarify why this site is FULL of her lies?
| finz |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 05:39 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Judge Judy says that if you don't lie, you don't need a good memory
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/08/12 06:48 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Oh I just like yanking y'alls chain. It's good for a laugh.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 07:09 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Anyone else want to change their opinion about this worthless piece of sh!t that thinks it FUNNY to lie to people, then ask their advice in a situation after they make you feel sorry for them?
| spinnerdegrassi |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 07:11 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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This kid is going to end up a loser. That much is pretty much a guarantee. Some girl is going to p@ssy whip his ass so bad when he grows up.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 07:20 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Of course, and WHY? Because a woman is p@ssy whipping him right now, LOL.
| spinnerdegrassi |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 07:27 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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See he watches his mom badmouth the dad. So in his mind, he will begin to believe that the only woman suitable for him, will be the one to boss his ass around, and make him think he's incapable of doing anything himself. Just like when he didn't do his school work, but it was the teachers fault, and not his for not doing the work..Complain enough to the principal and deflect blame away from the guilty party. His future wife will be the type to call up his work and yell at his boss if he doesn't get a raise, or has to work late.
| SweetLight |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/08/12 10:27 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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"Anyone else want to change their opinion about this worthless piece of sh!t"
-----Do you? Didn't think so, but you keep going and going. What do you all want to prove here?
| M5M5 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/08/12 11:53 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Riiiiiiiiiiight. That's so believable.
| SRS |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/09/12 02:25 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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NotSoGr8 enjoys calling people pieces of sh1t and shoving his opinion down their throats. You know his opinion is the only valued one.
Based on his posts, look how he interacts with the people at his kids school and other IRL.
He will continue to hammer CJ about lying and will "reasearch" her posts, but call out others if they do the same thing on other posters.
He does offer good advice at times, but goodness it can be hard to wade though while he is being verbally abusive.
| finz |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/09/12 02:51 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I agree with the often good advice vs often hothead tirade sentiment, but I don't recall him calling out those who catch another poster in an outright lie.
I've tried to give CJ the benefit of the doubt on many occasions and tried to encourage her to stick to the facts of what her ex is up to, skipping the spiteful judgements, so we could all try to advise on the facts at hand.....but she doesn't want to hear it.
I think gr8dad's pointing out obvious lies is very pertinent. Her 'defense' of "ha,ha, I like to play games" tells us all not to bother trying to help her.
| SRS |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/09/12 02:58 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Gr8 has always been absuive to CJ - no matter what she posts. Says mean things about her when she posts and beats her down.
If I remember correctly, he has called out PM in the past for her research on posters.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/09/12 09:15 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]
As a matter of fact Exhole scammed me out of over $500 in DS's medical health premiums when he NEGLECTED to tell me his new company was paying ALL his premiums and I had to wait for court to find it out. [/quote]
Sounds like you also neglected to ASK him about the cost of the insurance premiums at the new job. You don't get to lay it all on his doorstep.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/09/12 01:05 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]Sounds like you also neglected to ASK him about the cost of the insurance premiums at the new job. You don't get to lay it all on his doorstep. [/quote]
Ahhh but don't you know he wouldn't have wasted a SECOND informing me if they'd gone UP!! Using that "you didn't ASK" is a cop-out. Plain and simple.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/09/12 01:22 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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You said:
Ahhh but don't you know he wouldn't have wasted a SECOND informing me if they'd gone UP!!
My response:
Still doesn't change the fact that you neglected to ask.
You said:
Using that "you didn't ASK" is a cop-out. Plain and simple.
My response:
No,it's not. What is a cop out is stating that your ex neglected to tell you about the insurance premium when you DID THE SAME THING by neglecting to ask him about the insurance premium.
Could it be because you were afraid that he was going to say it went up?
Either way, one of you would have had to file for a modification to child support. And, depending on your state's guidelines, it may not have resulted in a change in the amount. In NJ, the change has to be more than 20% in either direction for the amount paid to be adjusted. Which means it wouldn't have mattered that he wasn't paying premiums anymore if you lived in NJ as the change would not have been over 20%.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/09/12 03:29 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote] Either way, one of you would have had to file for a modification to child support. And, depending on your state's guidelines, it may not have resulted in a change in the amount. In NJ, the change has to be more than 20% in either direction for the amount paid to be adjusted. Which means it wouldn't have mattered that he wasn't paying premiums anymore if you lived in NJ as the change would not have been over 20%. [/quote]
You don't consider going from $87/month to $0/month a change of 20% or more? Must be that New Math.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/09/12 03:52 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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How do we know that is what really happened, or are you just "having fun" and playing with us?
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/09/12 05:23 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]You don't consider going from $87/month to $0/month a change of 20% or more? Must be that New Math. [/quote]
No, it's basic math, Ms. School Teacher. What is 20% of $780 (which is what you have stated you pay in child support at the time that you found out)?
Let me save you the trouble, it's $156. Guess what falls under the 20%? The decrease in the insurance premium.
Like I stated, in NJ, your child support would not have changed.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/09/12 06:36 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Still doesn't apply since its stated as "NCP will pay CP $xyz, of which $87 is INCLUDED as REIMBURSEMENT of health insurance premiums paid by the CP ". In Texas it's considered a separate payment and can be altered at any time.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/09/12 07:10 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]In Texas it's considered a separate payment and can be altered at any time. [/quote]
Hence the reason that I stated the following:
And, depending on your state's guidelines, it may not have resulted in a change in the amount
As I stated, if you were in NJ, it would not have changed. In Texas, it does.
And still doesn't change the fact that you NEGLECTED TO ASK about the insurance premiums when your ex changed jobs. You overpaid because you made a choice not to ask. It is irrelevant that your ex didn't tell you. I'm sure that you wouldn't tell your ex if you were to get a substantial raise or switched jobs that included a substantial raise.
| SRS |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/10/12 04:59 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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CJ -
You will always be the bad guy here. No matter what you try. No matter what you say. The same people, for the most part, give entirely different advice to a NCP SM.
Yes, btw, as a CP I have the responsbility to let my ex know when the kids health insurance changed when I changed jobs. I didn't because it wasn't worth it - it went up quite a bit. It isn't the NCP responsibility to ask.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/10/12 05:57 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote] It isn't the NCP responsibility to ask. [/quote]
It's the responsibility of BOTH parties to ask/inform. Of course, it isn't a legal requirement unless it's in the court order.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/10/12 11:10 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote] I'm sure that you wouldn't tell your ex if you were to get a substantial raise or switched jobs that included a substantial raise. [/quote]
Since I've been in the same position for 22+ years, it's highly unlikely anything will change in the future.
Ex- told me in April that his company had stopped paying his premiums and now DS's portion was $66+/month. So HE didn't waste any time to inform me of that!
I pulled together all my documentation and copied it and wrote him a nice little letter saything that according to my calculations, I had OVERPAID him $522 back in '09 for the EXACT same thing, and he could use that overage to pay the premiums now. When that overage ran out, THEN we'd discuss it.
Let him bring it up in court. I have all the documentation. He's never VOLUNTEERED to refund me that money. It was NOT a gift -- it was SPECIFICALLY earmarked for 'health insurance premiums' that he WASN'T paying. Regardless of whose 'fault' it was, Exhole received $522 from ME that he was NOT entitled to. Bottom line.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/10/12 11:33 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]I pulled together all my documentation and copied it and wrote him a nice little letter saything that according to my calculations, I had OVERPAID him $522 back in '09 for the EXACT same thing, and he could use that overage to pay the premiums now. When that overage ran out, THEN we'd discuss it.
Let him bring it up in court. I have all the documentation. He's never VOLUNTEERED to refund me that money. It was NOT a gift -- it was SPECIFICALLY earmarked for 'health insurance premiums' that he WASN'T paying. Regardless of whose 'fault' it was, Exhole received $522 from ME that he was NOT entitled to. Bottom line.
[/quote]
And the bottom line is that if he files for a modification (and apparently in Texas, he CAN regardless of the % of change), you will be ordered to pay it. Without a credit for what you consider an overpayment.
Whether or not he actually has to go to court to get this money is going to depend on Texas' guidelines. It may be as simple as submitting the paperwork showing the cost of the premium to the proper dept.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/10/12 12:03 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Since I've already filed a motion because DS wants to live with me, Azzhole WILL probably bring it up in court. THEN I'll go by what the judge says. Azzhole has stolen and lied to me so much what's another few hundred?
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/10/12 12:38 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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She LIED to everyone here for YEARS. She is the "bad guy".because she is a LIAR.
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/10/12 07:26 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I'm confused on who gave Nicole different advice? I think most if not all suggested that Nicole and her H NOT go for FULL custody and ask for placement since the change of circumstance is that the Dad was moving. Same advice. Why mess with having the child move homes? Especially in this case where the child lives in the same location?
I feel for Jane that she has to pay a portion of CS to the CP when she already spends a significant amount of money in HER household. It's unfortunate that her state does not allow CS when there is a 50/50 time share. Yet if she does not have a true 50/50 time share then yes CS will exchange hands.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/10/12 08:21 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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She doesn't HAVE 50/50, that was a LIE she told. Then said she thouht it was FUNNY to "play" with us.
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/10/12 10:21 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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See I thought maybe she did have 50/50 as she stated back in 2009 or 2010, but now she was saying she did not because when she took it to court he reneged on the 50/50. The latter is what I thought the lie was. I don't know anymore. My point being if anyone has 50/50 and there is not a HUGE difference income I don't believe CS should exchange hands. What the truth really is I do not know.
| SweetLight |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/10/12 10:49 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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"See I thought maybe, I don't know anymore, what the truth really is I do not know."
----->So why continue the witch hunt? Maybe you should put CJane on ignore...
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/10/12 11:59 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Why would it be a "witch hunt"? She made a statement, it wad proven she LIED (something we have CRUCIFIED others for), and when confronted by it, she stated she did it just to PLAY with us.
The question I have is why DEFEND such a person?
| SweetLight |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/11/12 12:15 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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How many years can you ride her azz everytime she posts? You are certainly on a mission with CJane and you have been for years now. Yep, I see it.
| finz |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 01:02 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]How many years can you ride her azz everytime she posts? You are certainly on a mission with CJane and you have been for years now. Yep, I see it. [/quote]
***************************************
Probably not the best time to point out that gr8dad has consistently taken issue with CJ's comments and attitude.....when she has just proven, in this thread, that she is indeed worthy of derision.
Gr8dad was ahead of the learning curve on this one.
| SRS |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/11/12 04:07 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Nicole lied to the board about BM denying time.
It was BM's time and Nicole wanted to pick her Steppies up early to make things convenient when she picked up her own child from the grandparents. One of her first dramatic posts.
CJ supposedly lied in 2008/2009 about custody.
| SRS |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/11/12 04:27 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Cassie -
Why do you care about what I post, who I post to, and no matter what I post about? Just like Lo and ToTo.
You 3 won't chase me away. I don't roll like that. But, it is telling about you.
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 07:41 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I don't consider it a witch hunt. I would have no need to put her on ignore? I hope for Jane's sake if she pays CS and has 50/50 that changes at some point because it is unfair. I personally don't think whatever her time share is that placement will be changed based only on the wants of the child. I guess time will tell, if Jane posts again with the outcome.
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 07:45 AM |
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Why do you care what I post??? Oh Lord...you won't run me off?? I'm not looking to run you off SRS. I just don't "get" your thinking.
Just as gr8 stated in the past many times- Nicole didn't LIE that was her take on what happened. She went on to say in the same posting that she was denied time she WANTED not time that was allocated to her H. It's the semantics of the situation and completely different. To you, it's the same and that is your prerogative.
| ssmom79 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 09:24 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I usually don't post to CJ either. Her posts have long left me with a foul taste the way she blames her 'ex-hole' for everything and her son can do no wrong. At his age, he's dismissed as an innocent kid far too often. Her actions are often vindictive and it's counter-productive to her goal. I did try to tell her that but she sees things her own way. If she's been less than forthcoming with her situation I'm not surprised. Gr8 is usually on her like sliced cheese on a breadstick. I guess everyone has their pet peeve posters.
If her son is ready to try living at mom's, why not. THe kid is 15 years old, let him talk to a judge. A judge made what many people consider the 'right' choice sending the kid to dad, might as well give the judge a chance again. Pro-mom, not relevant. Both of these parents are vindictive and use their hatred for each other to fuel the fire. Who's worse?
And SRS is just ridiculous. Point out an inconsistency, you're a troll. Use the search feature, you're a troll. Have an opinion about her situation or her comments in any way and you're just trying to run her off....and then you get the good old you're just like JL, or Lo or ToTo...always quick to throw that bone out. It's so whatever Cassie...you're best off just letting her dangle her bait out there all day. Maybe she'll fish somewhere else.
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 09:47 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I think for CJane maybe she should ask for 50/50 then and try that out before asking for a complete change in custody. I think unless her X agrees I don't know that a judge will just decide the kid can live with her. If her X refuses won't there be a trial and so forth? The trial could last a couple years minimum. However she may have the money to spend on a trial while her X may not.
| ssmom79 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 09:53 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Seems like a lot of wasted money to fight for custody of a 15 year old.
| annieo |
| (veteran) |
| 06/11/12 10:07 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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"Seems like a lot of wasted money to fight for custody of a 15 year old."
It does seem that way especially since if the ex doesn't agree Jane will bring on a custody battle just to say na na boo boo if she is awarded custody - it won't really be about the child.
Who is ToTo - can't figure that one out.
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 11:06 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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That's what several lawyers told us when SD decided she wanted to live with us at 16. That her voice would be heard BUT unless X agreed then it would go to trial. There would be lots of continuances and it could take 2-3 years on average. 2 to 3 years and thousands of dollars surely. Just wasn't worth the fight unless SD really felt like the home was a danger to her. SD ended up changing her mind 6 months in anyway because her Mom bought her a dog.
| ssmom79 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 11:19 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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We are approaching our first real test with BM in YEARS. SS graduates next year. CS hasn't been revisited since original decree in 2000. We are fairly certain we have the upper hand so to speak. 50/50, we cover most extra curriculars, she covered insurance premiums and cell phones, we cover medical expenses and prescriptions. Pretty easy...but that number will change and invariably will go down so we will be taking money from BM's home. That just won't go over well with BM. Hubby is prepping a proposal in December to give to her. He has an idea of what is fair (no idea what he has in mind) and he'd like to split health insurance 50/50 and the medical expenses 50/50. Especially since she has to cover SS until he's 26. We want to make sure we assist in providing that, even if CS isn't required for SS. UGH, I'm glad he handles all matters of money. I stay out of those.
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 01:24 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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CS ending is quite the relief. The thing is you won't be giving $$ to BM for your SS persay, but I am sure you are looking to help him out financially in college. As best one can. So the money is no longer needed to go to her for him because he is an adult.
CS was always the problem with BM. And now that SHE has to pay it ($400 less than what H paid when he was making what BM now makes because he gave her a break) she refuses to speak to her own DD. It is sad that some allow money to get in the way of relationships.
| ssmom79 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 01:39 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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We've always seen it as a lateral move from CS to college. SS is trade school bound, just doesn't have what it takes to be a college kid. SD on the other hand wants to move away and go to college. Totally different look toward their futures. Looks like the money we save on SS trade school will go to SD college (that is if she can do two years local first).
| finz |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 05:22 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote]Nicole lied to the board about BM denying time.
It was BM's time and Nicole wanted to pick her Steppies up early to make things convenient when she picked up her own child from the grandparents. One of her first dramatic posts.
CJ supposedly lied in 2008/2009 about custody.
[/quote]
****************************************
I think Nicole misspoke on the op in that thread. In that same post or later ones in the same thread she explained the whole situation which was clearly not one of the bm denying scheduled parenting time. She was corrected on her inappropriate use of the phrase "denied parenting time" and didn't deny that was a poor choice of words.
CJ purposely posted something she KNEW to be false in order to deceive.
BIG difference between the two.
| SRS |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/11/12 06:08 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Misspoke to invoke sympathy? Not fessing up until she was caught? Isn't that the same as lying?
Guess it depends on how sympathetic you make your case.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 07:02 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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You are either a COMPLETE MORON, or so completely full of sh!t even YOU don't realize it. One person used a word improperly, and corrected herself immediately, while the OTHER lied for YEARS, then admitted she lied just to "play" with us.
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 07:18 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Her TITLE on the thread was "Denied Time". Immediately after under the title she wrote, "BM just denied us an extra 2 hours because she said she didnt want them picked up that early. My DD spent the weekend with my parents so I had to go pick her up and I asked BM of on my way back thru if I could pick them up. I text her at 12:21 and finally at 1:50 when I text her again asking to just say yes or no she finally text me back saying no because they were hanging out. Just disappointed."
--------------------------------------------
Nicole clearly stated in the FIRST post of her own thread that she wanted an EXTRA two hours and BM said no. That is hardly lying.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/11/12 09:25 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Don't waste you time, its a non custodial MOM versus a STEP mom, SRS always backs the MOM over the stepmom.
| MinnesotaMom |
| (enthusiast) |
| 06/13/12 05:50 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I read through lots of CJane's posts from the past.
I'm not an expert, but it appears her wanting custody is about hurting her ex and ending CS.
Actually spending time with child is #3 on her list. Hopefully a judge will be able to see that.
| SweetLight |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/13/12 11:32 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I'm not so sure I would feel any differently than CJ feels after all these years. Who would?
And what exactly is the harm in a judge hearing from a child his age? I think he’s 15. I cannot imagine the number of threads some would start here over the years, in the same situation CJ is in.
We’ve had a little taste with Cassie’s situation, and she should go for it. But CJane should not? JMHO, of course. CJane is a scapegoat here for a ton of shyt that she doesn't deserve. Simply because people want to make it about themselves and some witch hunt here, without knowing all the facts. Really, it happens. :-)
I wish CJ (& her son) the best of luck!
| SRS |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/14/12 06:29 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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There has to be a villan in every story. But, really, who is it here? and why?
CJ? Gr8? Cassie? SL? Me?
| Cassie23 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/14/12 07:38 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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We’ve had a little taste with Cassie’s situation, and she should go for it. But CJane should not?
----------------------------------------------------
Interesting take. BUT I have never been in the above situation persay. When we talked about, as stated above, we did NOT go for it because we were told X would have to agree. It would have been quite the fight with YEARS and thousands of dollars. SD left her Mom's when she was "of age", so no fight. The only consideration we had to make was- should we go for CS? Most on here said no and we would never get it. Most on here were wrong :) I think it is difficult to gauge unless you are from the same part of the OP's state and no others who have BTDT.
| finz |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/14/12 09:16 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I'll add another difference Cassie.....
Not saying that you never called bm a name or shared your judgements about her, but on the whole, you related the FACTS about what was happening and let us make our own judgements.
I just don't know much about what kind of dad CJ's ex is. I've read more "ex-hole comments" than I've heard what he has or hasn't done for the boy. I don't know which is the better home for the kid in CJ's case. My impression is that her ex is no prize, but I don't know much about his actual relationship with his son. All I do know is HATE isn't a good environment for a child and CJ seems to have a lot of that.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/14/12 09:24 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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"I'm not so sure I would feel any differently than CJ feels after all these years. Who would?"
Actually, MOST of us give up the hate after a few years.
"And what exactly is the harm in a judge hearing from a child his age?"
The child has been brain washed by c_jane.
"I cannot imagine the number of threads some would start here over the years, in the same situation CJ is in."
Yep, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them state that you must have a REASON, and that the NUMBER ONE< RULE is that you DO NOT involve the children in the fight.
"We’ve had a little taste with Cassie’s situation, and she should go for it. But CJane should not?"
Every case is different, and the FACTS of every case is different. My ex is an abusive person, so she should not have custody. Does that mean that YOU should not have custody as well? Of course not.
"Simply because people want to make it about themselves and some witch hunt here, without knowing all the facts."
The FACT is that she claimed to have 50/50 custody, she LIED about it, and when confronted, she didn't respond with she was EMBARRASSED, she was SCARED, she was confused, NOPE, she stated she wanted to "play" with us. Not sure about YOU, but I don't like being PLAYED with when it comes to advice and custody situations.
"I wish CJ (& her son) the best of luck!"
I think your wish for BOTH of them to be lucky with their endevours is mutually exclusive. If the CHILD is lucky, c_jane will NOT win, and if c_jane is lucky and wins, I fear for the child.
| ssmom79 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/15/12 08:01 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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IMO Cassie and CJ's situation are pretty different. Can you share how you think they are similar?
"My impression is that her ex is no prize, but I don't know much about his actual relationship with his son. All I do know is HATE isn't a good environment for a child and CJ seems to have a lot of that."
^^ ditto that ^^
| elliesmom |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/15/12 08:20 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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I am going to have to agree with gr8dad on the hate; it is unusual this long post divorce IMO.
DH was completely financially hosed in his divorce after she cheated and got knocked up, paid a hefty amount of money to her to raise his children poorly, had her forcing her new husband on them as "dad," allowed new husband to be abusive to both of his kids and so on. I would say he stopped with the silly derogative names and anger about 2 years post divorce. He was going back to court and it was time to swallow that and be the voice of reason. Although - his moving on may have something to do with our marriage. Or vice versa. One of the things that impressed me about him once we got into our relationship was how not spiteful he was towards her in spite of how she treated him. He was no pushover, but he generally never let his irritation with her last longer than the phone call. To my knowledge c_jane has not found someone yet.
| c_jane |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/15/12 01:47 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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[quote] To my knowledge c_jane has not found someone yet. [/quote]
I have no DESIRE to be involved with another person who wants to: control my life/house/free time/$$, help me 'raise' my son, wants me to cook for them, wants me to keep the house clean to their standards, get their nose out of joint when I want to spend time with MY friends/family, etc., doesn't understand that I need 9 hours of UNINTERRUPTED sleep a night, summers are MY time off so no I DON'T want to babysit YOUR kids/grand kids. Etc., etc.
Happily single 15 years & loving' it.
| elliesmom |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/15/12 03:15 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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So I would say the right person would not do those things and you haven't found him yet. I don't believe in settling for less than what you want. My mother remarried a man who had never married (ergo no baggage) in their 40s. He had no interest in raising us. They now travel with their dogs, she does her stuff, he has his stuff, and are perfectly happy.
Though she did turn him down several times before she agreed to go out with him, because she was in her "done with men" phase. But it all worked out.
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/15/12 03:41 PM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Shame that kid got in the way, huh? Nine hours a night, LMAO, must have been REAL pleasant raising a baby with you, LMAO.
| SRS |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 06/16/12 05:29 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Not everyone needs a partner in order to feel complete. Some people enjoy their lives without feeling like they have to mate up like animals on Noah's ark.
Why should it matter to anyone else? Why should anyone else care?
But, whatever CJ says - she's the villan.
| spinnerdegrassi |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 06/16/12 07:58 AM |
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Re: Short Update on my Situation
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Look at how she wrote her response though. She's completely negative, and only finds problems in having a partner, which makes her by default, a bad partner for someone anyways since she sees being in a relationship a burden. The reality is that if you have good partner, it outweighs the best possible scenario's in being single. She's content being single not because it's the best option, but because she's so negative, that she would never thrive in a relationship based on being so selfish.