| Jennym2994 |
| (newbie) |
| 11/15/05 02:27 PM |
Giving him the house
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I plan on giving my part of the house to my STBX. So does that mean he will have to buy my half from me? Also, I have a truck loan that is totally in my name, that he got for me. I basically signed the papers. I cant afford this truck. What do i do now? & selling it is out of the question. I owe enough that you could buy a new one & the way the economy is right now I am aware that no one will buy it. What are my options?
| Cinder2 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 11/15/05 04:47 PM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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What state are you in, Jenny? Different states have different laws.
Some other questions: you say "give" the house and then you say "buy my half". Which exactly would you like to do?
Cinder
| Jennym2994 |
| (newbie) |
| 11/16/05 07:37 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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Buy my half. I live in MS.
| Cinder2 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 11/16/05 09:34 PM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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Usually in an equitable distribution state, each person will get half the assets and half the debts. That means your ex will have to come up with the money to give you for half the equity in the house or you will have to trade different assets until it comes out evenly. Your truck will also have to be split. Sounds like you'll probably have to trade it in and get something cheaper, though. Here's what I found you about Mississippi law:
Mississippi is a "title" state. Each spouse retains his or her property for which they have title. There are no statutory provisions in Mississippi for considerations regarding property division. However, Mississippi has judicially adopted the "equitable division" systems of property division. Recent court decisions have allowed for a wife's contributions to the acquisition of assets to provide the court with authority to divide any jointly accumulated assets on an "equitable" basis. A 1994 case (Ferguson v. Ferguson) spelled out a set of factors for the equitable division of marital property: (1) a spouse's substantial contribution to the accumulation of property; (2) the degree to which a spouse has previously expended or disposed of any marital property; (3) the market and emotional value of the property in question; (4) the value of any non-marital or separate property; (5) the tax consequences of the division of property; (6) the extent to which property division may eliminate the need for alimony or any other future friction between the parties; (7) the needs of the party, considering income, assets, and earning capacity; and (8) any other equitable factors. [Mississippi Case Law].
Cinder
| Jennym2994 |
| (newbie) |
| 11/17/05 07:11 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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WOW, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT!!
| Jennym2994 |
| (newbie) |
| 11/17/05 10:43 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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Even if the truck is completly in my name we will have to split it? (Sorry for being so nauive. Im 25 & never had any experience with owning my own vehicle.)
| Cinder2 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 11/17/05 11:00 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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Dear Jenny,
It's not that you have to split each thing, it's that you have to split everything. Make a big list of assets and liabilities. Then you split it up so that each person ends up with a fairly equal pile.
For example, I took our house that had some equity in it and my ex took our stocks and mutual funds. I took the car that was worth more and that we owed money on and he took the older car that was worth less but was paid off. If you can't agree on who should get what, that's when the fun begins. Then you either have to sell stuff and split the proceeds or you go to court and a judge decides for you. It sounds like in Mississippi you can get awarded more or less than half of your assets if the judge thinks there is a compelling reason that you should. Cinder
| Jennym2994 |
| (newbie) |
| 11/17/05 11:04 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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Geez, I dread all that. Going to court & everything. I am so scared & nervous.
| Cinder2 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 11/17/05 11:18 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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How is your husband to deal with? Is there any chance the two of you can sit down and work out these details without court? If you don't have a lot of money, you will basically end up with nothing after you pay the lawyers to go to court. It's really not worth it. Even if you end up with slightly less than half, it's still better than paying a lawyer to fight.
How long were you married and how long have you been apart?
Cinder
| Jennym2994 |
| (newbie) |
| 11/17/05 11:54 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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We have been married 5 yrs. Not separted yet. We have 2 kids, 4 & 2. I couldnt stand the thought of ruining their holidays this last time. So I am staying till the first of the year. I dont know. I think he will fight it & drag it out to the end. He isnt a reasonable person, to say, ok she's not in love, there's nothing we can do." He sees nothing wrong with me staying, going to the Dr. to be put on med to "deal" with it.
| Cinder2 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 11/17/05 12:44 PM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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Well, now I see on the other board that you are having an affair. In Mississippi your husband can bring that all up in the courts and the judge can weigh more heavily in your husband's favor.
Cinder
| sandflea |
| (addict) |
| 11/17/05 12:45 PM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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It really all depends of whether or not both of you can see past the emotional side of things, and deal with this as a business transaction. The court won't care who did what - they'll simply want to see an equitable distribution of all "marital assets" - assets you acquired together while married. Of course, you'll also need to discuss child support - I'm assuming you'll keep the kids. Spousal support - assuming he's the major bread winner. ETc.
Sorry this is happening - but there is life on the other side. And - if he's gonna freak, and if your gut tells you that things are going to go downhill fast - and if Santa's gonna be a scrooge - then maybe you ought to just get started now...
- SF
| Jennym2994 |
| (newbie) |
| 11/17/05 12:54 PM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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Thanks.
| Jennym2994 |
| (newbie) |
| 11/18/05 08:33 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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Shouldnt he have to have proof of the affair?
| sandflea |
| (addict) |
| 11/18/05 08:59 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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In a sense it doesn't matter. It's not working, and neither of you are in a position to try and fix it. So, you file. That's the sad state of "affairs" these days.
Don't file unless you're sure that you want to split up. It's a huge process - very destructive, no matter what side you're on. Even if you're the one that wants out - there are feelings of guilt, abandonment, shame, hopelessness - failure. I don't care if you've only been married a year. I don't care if you are 100% justified to leave - even is situations where there is abuse.
You'll look in the mirror, in like 6 months - with, oh, something less than half of what you thought you had, and about 1/3 of the friends you had. Alone. And you'll be reeling. The rebound might help, but when that too fails, then you're really alone, and that's when it hits ya.
My ex was just oh so happy to leave. Now she's alone, with 1/10th of the value of the property she left. She has "new" friends, and "new" places to go. And she's miserable. It finally sunk in. Now she's trying oh so hard to find meaning.
My point in all this - especially since you have kids - is - ARE YOU SURE? Once you go there, even if you really try to reconcile, it's usually over. Then again, if someone is getting what they need outside the marriage - it's probably over anyway.
Pray. Look inside yourself for answers. Be honest with yourself, and your heart - and then stand up, and do what you must do. Either way. We're here for ya.
- SF
| Jennym2994 |
| (newbie) |
| 11/18/05 09:01 AM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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Thanks sandflea.
| DanH |
| (journeyman) |
| 11/18/05 09:35 PM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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I will have to say, from personal experience, that divorce should be the absolute last option you should choose. It sounds as though you feel that there is no way to fix it.
If that is truly the case, then you're gonna have to get ready for war. Yes, in an ideal world, everyone could split up amicably, and all would be well in Gotham city. Unfortunately, that isn't the reality. What you've got is finances and emotions, thrown into the mix. Throw in the kids as well, coupled with the reality that someone has to pay c/s, possibly spousal support, etc.
I would STRONGLY recommend that you look a little deeper inside yourself and see if things are really totally broken or not. If they are, you're gonna have to face the reality that its gonna get ugly. Get an emotional support network in place now, cuz you're gonna have some seriously bad days ahead.
-Dan
| legalidiot |
| (enthusiast) |
| 11/19/05 09:21 PM |
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Re: Giving him the house
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That's true. Marriage is all about love...Divorce is about money.