| xiuxiub |
| (recently joined) |
| 05/13/11 01:57 PM |
Should I ask for alimony?
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My husband and I have been married for four years and we bought our house 2 months before our wedding. He has always made more money than me, but had no savings and debts. I am lucky in that I have no debt and I cashed out a CD my grandmother gave me so we could buy the house. We also used the money for fixing up the house. I can't remember exact amounts, but it was around $7K. It looks like our best option is for him to refinance the house in his name because I can't afford it. He makes over twice what I make- almost $70K while I'm at $27K. We are having an amicable split, but I can't help but feel I am owed something from what I put into the house, not to mention the numerous, expensive gifts my parents gave us for the house-stone on the porch, a $3K lawnmower, an awing added, stone for landscaping, new water heater...anyway, I'm sure I have to let that go. Even though it is his fault he is still in debt (kept spending), I feel bad asking for a payout. He said you know I don't have cash...he offered to pay the mortgage and utilities for 2-4 months while I look for a condo or something. Part of me says it's not enough, maybe monthly alimony payments would be better. The other part of me says, you're a big girl and this will be a huge lifestyle change, but you can take care of yourself. I just wonder if I'd qualify since I can support myself, but it will be hard and look at the differences in our salaries! I took this low paying job because I had such a great provider for a husband. We don't want to go the lawyer route, and I don't want to make this situation nasty. ANY advice would be greatly appreciated!
| javajunkiee |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 05/14/11 07:33 AM |
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Re: Should I ask for alimony?
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If you can't come to an agreement outside of court, you'll end up with attorney's that will cost you more than the value of what you're disagreeing over.
You can review the Spousal Support forum here at divorcesource to verify what I'm saying, but short term marriages don't qualify for alimony, especially when the receiving spouse is capable of supporting themselves. Short term is normally considered to be less than 10yrs. As for the rest, a judge will normally take all of the debts and all of the assets and split them.
Something important for you to consider as this can have the ability to affect you long after the divorce: If his debt load is high and credit less than excellent, he won't be refinancing the house into his name. He won't get approved by a lender without a cosigner. Your name will remain on the house until he can refi or the house is sold, and it will affect your credit. Every late pymt he makes will land on your reports if your name is on the mtg loan. The lender does not care about a divorce settlement or any agreement the two of you make between yourselves - their only concern is agreement the two of you made with them when you signed the paperwork. There are no consequences, especially in today's housing market, for not following through with an agreement to refi. If he stops paying they *will* come after you for it.
I'd consider selling the house, or you buying him out for the value of investments you made so no cash changes hands. Then you rent it to cover the monthly note until it sells.
Keep in mind, if he's making payments on his debt, making the mortgage pymt, and telling you he doesn't have cash now, your chances of him actually handing you $$ on a monthly basis is slim. Even if a judge were to give you an alimony award, it would be *very* short term (a few months) and you'd probably be pursuing any missed payments beyond the award time. Not to mention the cost of an attorney would likely be greater than the amt you'd pursue. $70k after taxes with a heavy debt load is not a lot of cash, and the only possible way I see him throwing any $ your way is if he wasn't making the house payment.
I'd suggest you call around to local family law attorney's and get free consultations. They will be able to give you a more accurate idea of how the judges in your area lean with regards to alimony on short-term marriages, and possibly make other suggestions on how to settle the financial issues.
| xiuxiub |
| (recently joined) |
| 05/16/11 10:10 AM |
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Re: Should I ask for alimony?
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Thanks for the advice. He did offer me $5K for him to take over the house. That's really what I wanted, I guess. But, I hope he can re-finance on his own! He makes a good wage, his debt is $5K (as far as I know) and he has student loans. I didn't even think about the bank's not approving him. He can absolutely afford the payments himself. We are talking about being roommates for a while until I can buy a condo. That might backfire! But, we're a modern couple!
