What is the exact wording in your CO in regards to you having a "say in the upbringing of the child?" Is that it, if so, it's a little vague.

I'm confused...I believe it wasn't stated that the pay cut was "voluntary" and my question would be why would that have anything to do with it anyway?

So my DH ex, who chose to work at a low income job, when she could be making more at friggin Walmart, she should then be paying more toward bills because that is voluntary cut in pay then, right?

If a NCP, during his/her parenting time, had braces put on his/her child, returned the child to the CP and handed them the bill and said here you go, time to pay your share. Didn't discuss it with them or anything. I think many CPs would take issue because not everyone can afford to pay for braces at the drop of the hat (within 14 days I believe she mentioned), with no notice.

Also, because she moved away, experienced a cut in pay, that means that the CP doesn't have to consult before putting braces on the child? I get the point that it's a done deal, but WTF?

Are you able to communicate about other medical treatment in the past or is this a reoccuring issue?

My DH ex does stuff like this and worse, constantly so
I understand your concern and the point you are trying to make. My DH and his ex went through a modification this year and exactly what you describe was a MAJOR concern as one of his kids will be needing braces. Not that DH won't pay his share for braces. Not that he won't pay for his share of the medical bills. But that she would just do it, without discussing any of it with him in advance. In our case, BM has a history of not telling DH about medical/dental bills, she let's them go to collections or in a few cases, her funds were condemned before DH even knew a bill existed or that any treatment occured. He's gotten better at tracking things down himself as he's been burned numerous times. Usually an argument for her to even present a bill, in one instance she did provide a bill several years ago and a year later DH learned that she didn't give him the entire bill, only part, and that part had gone to collections! She cannot organize a bill to save her life, but yet she takes them nonstop for medical treatment, doesn't pay ANY of her portion, but doesn't even tell DH so he can pay his portion. DH and I supplied attorneys with a 200 page binder of medical bills DH had to track down, organize and calculate on his own, sometimes a difficult tast with some medical institutions, because she would not supply or tell him about ANYTHING. What did she provide to the attorneys? She didn't have any, nothing, nada, zip, and some were statments that SHE receives monthly and does not pay and she had the audactiy to accuse DH that he doesn't pay his share....when the documentation proved that she wasn't paying ANY of her share and that DH has continuously paid his portion on bills he knew of. DH pays regularly but doesn't get the benefit of the monthly statement without jumping hoops to get it. DH was concerned about the braces, she would not tell him, just do it, DH would have to track down the dentist and go through everything that should have been done in advance, arranging payment, discussing it with BM, etc. He put a stop to it with the wording in the modification, probably won't work though, she'll still do whatever she wants.

Sorry to ramble on, just wanted to present another possible side. I just thought the original post came across as someone who *may* have gotten burned in the past with medical bills/consulting for treatment and maybe not just necessarily one who was trying to get out of paying a bill.

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