| wendieann |
| (journeyman) |
| 10/18/07 09:44 PM |
First phone call to daddy from kids
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My children are 2 & 3. Tonight, I asked them if they wanted to call daddy. (his weekend is tomorrow) So, they call. I dialed and gave them MY CELL PHONE (I don't have a home #)
OW answers the phone, and since their voices are quiet, I said, ask to speak to daddy... Well, she didn't... so, I asked my 3 yr old for the phone, and slipped into the bathroom. I said to OW, they called to speak with their father, and I am not paying for them to talk to you. Well, she started in on me, so I hung up.
10 minutes later their father calls, I answer and as soon as I hear his voice, I said, "DD2 wants to talk to you"... then the kids both chatted away. About 15 minutes later, I said to the kids it was time to get ready for bed and to say goodbye. They did, and hung up.
I am sorry but, I am paying for the long distance call on my cell phone for them to talk to dad. I don't mind a brief, hello from OW...but not to attempt to take over the conversation.
Do you think I was wrong to handle it this way?
| almostheaven |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 10/18/07 09:53 PM |
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Sounds like it so far...
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You said they didn't say anything, so did she know who it was and who they wanted? Was she trying to talk to them or you? From what you gave here, you called, handed them the phone, they said nothing, you took the phone, found out it was her on the phone and gave her a curt response. Now if she was trying to chit chat with them or you, it's different, but you could still handle it more tactfully. Next time just tell her to have your ex call his kids back and hang up.
| Redlegg |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 10/19/07 05:18 AM |
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Re: Sounds like it so far...
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I said to OW, they called to speak with their father(That sounds normal)
and I am not paying for them to talk to you.
(was that strictly for informational matters, your disclaimer that you give to everyone when they receive calls from your cell phone, or were you just being sarcastic?? How would you have expected her to reply and how would you have replied if it happened to you like that?)
| matart1 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 10/19/07 07:10 AM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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don't let stupidity get in the way of common sense....
no one would ever say that you have to pay for long distance to speak with someone you do not want to but when you hand a phone to a 2 or 3 year who say nothing, then get rude to the person on the other line then you get the arguement you ask for -
it could have been so simple just to say "may I please speak to so and so" or teach the kids to say the same.
| madalex |
| (enthusiast) |
| 10/19/07 09:47 AM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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Quote:
Do you think I was wrong to handle it this way?
Yes. You started the fight by the "not paying to speak to you" line (which was a ridiculous thing to say), so you should not be surprised when she reacted poorly to that.
| JustMeAndThree |
| (old hand) |
| 10/19/07 09:52 AM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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Ok, on a cell phone, I thought long distance was included on most plans nowadays? Are you meaning you just don't want to use the minutes for them to talk to her? In any case, what you said was a bit rude and distasteful, tho I can admit that in the heat of the moment I may have said something similiar in the situation.
Next time just simply say " I can't afford to use too many minutes, please have XXX call the kids when he is available"
and leave it at that. Look at it this way...by saying what you said you are giving her the satisfaction of knowing that she gets to you. Why let her have that?
| Drew |
| (old hand) |
| 10/19/07 11:19 AM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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Good point JMAT and honestly stated.
That is one of those situations where alot of us might think something and just not say it.
| JustMeAndThree |
| (old hand) |
| 10/19/07 12:06 PM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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Quote:
Good point JMAT and honestly stated.
That is one of those situations where alot of us might think something and just not say it.
Thanks
| madalex |
| (enthusiast) |
| 10/19/07 12:26 PM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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Quote:
Ok, on a cell phone, I thought long distance was included on most plans nowadays? Are you meaning you just don't want to use the minutes for them to talk to her? In any case, what you said was a bit rude and distasteful, tho I can admit that in the heat of the moment I may have said something similiar in the situation.
What "heat of the moment"? There was no heat of the moment; this wasn't something said in the midst of a larger argument. The OP just got annoyed when the other woman answered the phone, so the OP decided to be rude to her. There is no real excuse for that.
| almostheaven |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 10/19/07 08:21 PM |
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You don't know that...
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The poster didn't give enough info to make that kind of conclusion. That's why I told her it sounded as if she was in the wrong unless there's more to it she didn't state. There could be some long standing animosity between the two. We just don't know. Either way, her response still could've been better than that, but there COULD have been some heat of the moment if they have a bad history.
| 1004SRS |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 10/19/07 08:46 PM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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This is the OW who showers with your daughter. I'd have probably said the same thing, honestly.
Sure, it may not have been nice, but I get so damned tired of bieng nice.
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 10/20/07 09:10 AM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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I think that you should have just asked to have their father call back and not get into you aren't paying to talk to her.
BTW, kids as young as yours need help in learning how to ask for the right person.
My youngest, at 5, still needs a little help with asking for Daddy when he isn't the one who answers.
When my ex and I first separated, my youngest was 3, I always asked for my ex first and then gave the phone to the kids to talk.
| ssmom79 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 10/20/07 07:32 PM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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"I said to OW, they called to speak with their father, and I am not paying for them to talk to you. Well, she started in on me, so I hung up."
_____________________________________
Apparently, from prior posts, there is something else going on. If they were quiet, she probably didn't know who it was. You don't have to make it clear that you aren't paying for them to speak to her...I think that was probably received wrong on the other end...of course, I wouldn't have received that so well myself. My first thought was "how rude!" (courtesy of Stephanie Tanner from Full House).
Perhaps you should put your differences aside, call and ask to speak to your ex yourself, then put the kids on the phone. A simple, "Hi this is Wendiann calling for the kids, is their father available?" If not, you can ask the person to pass the message along for him to return the call.
Otherwise, maybe you shouldn't suggest to the kids to call.
| almostheaven |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 10/21/07 03:39 PM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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>>>>>My first thought was "how rude!" (courtesy of Stephanie Tanner from Full House).<<<<<
Hehe I guess I'm not the only one who likes to watch the oldies.
| wendieann |
| (journeyman) |
| 10/22/07 01:38 PM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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Quote:
Next time just simply say " I can't afford to use too many minutes, please have XXX call the kids when he is available"
and leave it at that. Look at it this way...by saying what you said you are giving her the satisfaction of knowing that she gets to you. Why let her have that?
Good point.... I thought I was being nice in the first place to encourage the kids to call daddy... next time I will request to speak with STBXH first. Thanks.
| lilgypsy |
| (old hand) |
| 10/22/07 01:49 PM |
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Re: First phone call to daddy from kids
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When I finally do get an answer when I phone to talk to my kids, I keep it simple. All I say is, "kids please". I owe them nothing else. If they try to talk to me about anything, I say, "Please email it to me; I want to talk to the kids." Anything past that and I hang up the phone if I'm not handed to the children.
If you don't leave room for games, it gets harder for anyone to play.