| Beth |
| (recently joined) |
| 10/28/04 02:08 AM |
Hi Guys!
|
I hope I wont get in trouble for coming into the Guys Room, but I wanted your perspective. My ex-boyfriend who I had a child with when I was 19, about two and a half years ago recently did the whole paternity, child support visitation thing. We both had attorneys, went through the courts, etc. He did a couple months of supervised to establish a relationship with her and its going pretty well. I am trying to keep it really positive for my daughter and encourage her to spend time with him. I wanted some advice from you on how to make this work. I know I need to get rid of the bad feelings I have for hime from when he dumped me when I was pregnant. We were young and dumb and I'm working on that. I am very apprehensive of him having home visitation due to past drug and alcohol abuse. But he seems to have changed and I want to honor his rights. What can I do to make this work??? Thanks for all your help, Beth
| Eric |
| (old hand) |
| 10/28/04 08:14 AM |
Re: Hi Guys!
|
www.DivorceAsFriends.com can give you ideas how to qualm your anger, not let it get inflamed again and to start over with a fresh attituded.
The Quick Facts pages of the FIRM site will give you an insight on what the odds are of not having a BOTH parents involved in your child's life. It is not a role model. It is bio parent that makes the difference.
Then, read the FAQ's about joint parenting and parenting plans. You will find that your child will be better off emotionally and intellectually with BOTH parents involved in their life.
So, if you truly care about your child, stop making it personal. Do what is best for the child regardless of your own problems with your ex. Your child will feel the vibes from you and act accordingly. Learn to control your emotions.
Eric
www.FIRMncp.com
| gr8Dad |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 10/28/04 04:50 PM |
|
One question for you...
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If you were still together, would you require him to be supervised when spending time with the child? If not, why are you doing it now?
| Beth |
| (recently joined) |
| 11/01/04 04:05 AM |
|
Re: Hi Guys!
|
I never brought up the supervised thing. The judge ordered it since he had never seen her and had past drug/alcohol issues.I had no say over it.