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vulgar language
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Does anyone have any idea on how to enforce a parent who continuously uses vulgar language in front of a two year old during pick up sessions. My ex has been using vulgar language in front of my two year old- The B word, The C..T word, and many other curse words. I have asked him to please stop, I am afraid my two year old is going to recite these words in daycare.....and even our agreement states not to use vulgar language..I am not sure I want to pay lots of money to have an attorney take him to court for a hand slap because he is constantly using vulgar language...and he also does this at his home, when I call to speak with my son...any suggestions?
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JennyLynn
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/16/07 09:29 AM
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Re: vulgar language
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Lilmomma - I have the same problem with my XH. He constantly cusses around and to DS, DS is 3, and has repeated the words, but I have told him that these words are not OK to use, even if daddy uses them.
Unfortunately you can't stop your ex from cussing around your child - but what you can do is teach your child not to repeat them.
When DS started saying the F word at home, telling me daddy calls me a b*tch, etc. - I had a talk w/ the daycare that he was repeating some foul language at home, and that I don't accept it and to not allow him to speak that way if he does it at daycare, and to let me know if it is a problem. He's learned those words are NOT OK - and he doesn't repeat them around me or at daycare.
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Re: vulgar language
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thanks so far no repeating as of yet....but he goes to a chrstian school and I hold a lot of pride in the way my son was/is raised..thanks for the input...
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JennyLynn
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/16/07 12:33 PM
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Re: vulgar language
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YOu're welcome.  I completely understand what you're saying, I certainly don't want to be "that mom" whose kid cusses, ,lol. But I Think a lot of teachers also realize they don't only have their parents as influences - it can be from anywhere.
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Re: vulgar language
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you know this is so funny, just last night my son was sitting in my bed, this was his father's weekedn to see him, but I was ten minutes late to drop him off due to napping so he just left and gave up his weekend...anyhow, my son was in my bed, and i asked if he slept with daddy in his bed....and he says....daddy, anna and me in bed...that was comforting to hear a two year old is with his father and his girlfriend....i guess nothing ceases to amaze me...
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Avaya
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/19/07 02:01 PM
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Re: vulgar language
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While I despise foul language, I'm betting that he didn't just start using this language after you two split up. I'd suspect that he used it 3 years ago when you got pregnant, right? I'm not saying it didn't bother you then, but honestly, you decided to have a baby with a potty mouth. Did you two discuss and agree to stop using that language once the baby was born? If so, then how horrible that he went back on his word.
It amazes me that what people find 'acceptable' prior to a separation, suddenly becomes unacceptable after. I'm not saying you 'liked' it before, but it obviously wasn't a deal breaker for you.
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JennyLynn
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/19/07 02:02 PM
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Re: vulgar language
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I doubt it was ever acceptable, Avaya.
XH is/was the same way - when we were married, he cursed to and at the kids, out of impatience and frustration.
It didn't make it OK then - and it doesn't make it OK now.
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Avaya
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/19/07 04:21 PM
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Re: vulgar language
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The point is, you choose to have a child with a man who behaves this way. How can you rationalize complaining about it afterward? You knew he was that way when you decided to have children with him.
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JennyLynn
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/20/07 08:06 AM
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Re: vulgar language
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<<The point is, you choose to have a child with a man who behaves this way. How can you rationalize complaining about it afterward? You knew he was that way when you decided to have children with him. >>
I think we all realize that you don't know everything there is to know about someone, even before you marry them or have chidlren with them.
And just b/c they were "that way before", still doesn't make it OK.
My XH was the same way - it wasn't OK when I was married to him, and it's not OK now.
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asurvivor
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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11/27/07 09:31 AM
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Re: vulgar language
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OMG Avaya,
I venture my money on MOST PEOPLE CUSS but FOR THE BEST INTEREST OF THEIR CHILD they curb it!
Give me a break on the DISCUSSING CUSSING BEFORE CONCEPTION OR DURING PREGNANCY! When I was pregnant.....that issue was small potatoes in the BIG PICTURE!
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Avaya
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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12/03/07 04:20 AM
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Re: vulgar language
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That may well be true, but you knew he was 'that way' when you decided to marry and have children with him.
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Avaya
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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12/03/07 04:21 AM
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Re: vulgar language
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That's a gross generalization. Sounds like you're saying that most adults just can't control their vocabulary except when they 'have to'. How sad.
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JennyLynn
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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12/03/07 07:43 AM
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Re: vulgar language
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<<
That may well be true, but you knew he was 'that way' when you decided to marry and have children with him. >>
Actually I didn't realize that until after I married him, but shame on me for not knowing him longer.
Even so - who freakin' cares? His actions aren't my responsibility. It doesn't matter if I knew, if I condoned it, or didn't condone it - it DOESN'T MATTER. He's an adult, HE can control his behavior. PERIOD.
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Re: vulgar language
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I don't think anyone can imagine how to behave until you actually have a child and can see what the influence is....and actually when I was married, my ex would use vulgar language in arguments...and now he wants to argue with me about letting his two year old try to get on the phone and speak to his mother...and then that is the context of the vulgar languages, phone conversations, exchanges, etc....
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