| optomistic |
| (recently joined) |
| 12/01/07 11:25 AM |
Smoking around the kids
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Does anyone know if there are laws (ohio) against smoking around kids? Dad smokes(and I do on occassion) but it has always been very important to me that it not be near the kids. He is now refusing to keep it from them, b/c I "don't control him." Yes, on this topic, I've always been controlling, so sue me. It's not fair to them and their health and they can't make the decision to get up and move away from it, especially if they are riding in the truck with him.
Thanks!
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 12/01/07 04:08 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Quote:
Does anyone know if there are laws (ohio) against smoking around kids? Dad smokes(and I do on occassion) but it has always been very important to me that it not be near the kids. He is now refusing to keep it from them, b/c I "don't control him." Yes, on this topic, I've always been controlling, so sue me. It's not fair to them and their health and they can't make the decision to get up and move away from it, especially if they are riding in the truck with him.
Thanks!
Get a doctor's note saying that being around secondhand smoke isn't healthy for the kids and that your kid shouldn't be around it.
The only problem with the above is that you also smoke.
You could always take him to court but then you would have to agree to not be around your child for at least 6 hours after smoking a cigarette yourself. Because that is how long it takes for the unhealthy secondhand smoke to dissipate from your hair, clothing, body.
Or better yet, just quit smoking and then take the ex to court.
You really don't have a lot of room to talk since you smoke yourself.
| stuckinarut |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 12/01/07 07:48 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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STBX has a problem with my family smoking around the kids....always causes a fight
| icwal |
| (enthusiast) |
| 12/02/07 12:43 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Did you inforce this rule (him not smoking around the children) before you were getting divorced? If so you might have a case, if you allowed it in the past, it might be more difficult to have it enforced.
| optomistic |
| (recently joined) |
| 12/03/07 09:40 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Thanks for the replies.
Actually I used to smoke on occassion (socially), until about 6 months ago. My daughter came outside and busted me. It really upset her, so I stopped.
As for when I enforced the no smoking around the kids, it has been a rule since the day I found out I was pregnant. No smoking around me while I was pregnant and definitely none around either child once they were born. Dad always had to go outside to smoke and didn't smoke while the kids were in the vehicle with him. He had 2 family members die of lung cancer b/c of so many years of smoking, but it doesn't seem to matter to him what he could be doing to the kids. He's only smoking around them now to spite me.
| JennyLynn |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 12/03/07 09:59 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Just curious...how do you know he smokes around the kids? Does he smoke around them outside, inside, in the car?
I smoke (I'm trying to quit), but I don't smoke around DS. I don't smoke in my car with him, and I don't smoke inside.
His dad smokes, he smokes inside and in his car, and his mother always smokes in her house when the kids are there. That I don't approve of - and while I do think it's best kids aren't around the smoke, if he isn't doing it inside or in the car, I don't see the huge deal if it isn't effecting their health (yes I understand about second hand smoke - but not a lot of parents smoke and that doesn't make them bad parents).
| optomistic |
| (recently joined) |
| 12/03/07 10:21 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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They always come home reeking of smoke, so I asked if he smokes in the house, my daughter says yes, I also smelled it when I went to see the new house. Also, my daughter was talking about how she and her brother freeze when Daddy rolls the window down in the truck to smoke. So they are in direct contact with it. That's what bothers me. I don't mean to sound like he's a "bad parent" just because he smokes. It's just that he's now possibly effecting the kids health b/c I'm "not his boss."
| JennyLynn |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 12/03/07 10:28 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Yes I agree, it's definitely effecting their health if he's smoking inside, and with them in the vehicle.
I'm not sure what you can do, I'd listen to some of the other advice offered above. But I'd definitely try getting a doctor's note to send him and see what else you can do.
It's very hard to control the actions of the other parent, especially when they're as stubborn as he sounds, I'm sorry you're having to deal with it, I understand!
| optomistic |
| (recently joined) |
| 12/03/07 11:00 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Thanks, JennyLynn! Good luck with trying to quit smoking also!
| JennyLynn |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 12/03/07 12:05 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Thanks
| fvvvvr |
| (newbie) |
| 12/11/07 07:22 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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I smoke too and if you are interested, I'm looking for someone to help me quit (way too many now thru the divorce)
| Goodmom |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 12/11/07 08:14 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Quote:
Just curious...how do you know he smokes around the kids? Does he smoke around them outside, inside, in the car?
I smoke (I'm trying to quit), but I don't smoke around DS. I don't smoke in my car with him, and I don't smoke inside.
His dad smokes, he smokes inside and in his car, and his mother always smokes in her house when the kids are there. That I don't approve of - and while I do think it's best kids aren't around the smoke, if he isn't doing it inside or in the car, I don't see the huge deal if it isn't effecting their health (yes I understand about second hand smoke - but not a lot of parents smoke and that doesn't make them bad parents).
They smell like they have been smoking. And the only to do that is if someone is smoking around them.
Not to mention, all of the clothes that would be sent home would reek as well.
Smoking around non-smokers effects their health. And doesn't belong around kids at all.
| JennyLynn |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 12/12/07 08:42 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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<<And doesn't belong around kids at all>>
I respect your opinion, but I also don't feel that all parents who smoke are bad parents, just b/c they smoke!
These days I strongly feel that it's more of a social wrong than a serious health hazard.
We all know the effects of smoking - and the effects of second hand smoke.
My mom and dad have never smoked - but my mother's parents smoked her entire life. My mom's mom even smoked when she was pregnant with my mom and her two siblings - and none of them smoke, and none of them have anything wrong with them. It was more socially accepted 50 years ago than it is now.
I can assure you that my son's clothes don't reak of smoke, nor do my own, nor does DS reak when he comes home from his dad's.
| KiwiGirl |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 12/16/07 10:23 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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So you mwant to 'make' your ex do what you want? Good luck on that one.
You said your daughter busted you smoking outside a few months ago and was very upset. So why has she not spoken to her father about his smoking?
I think it will have more impact coming from your kids than you. I am anti-smoking however I have a problem with divorced parents inflicting their personal social values on their ex partner. Smoking can cause lung cancer however people who never smoke can get lung cancer or throat cancer.
Get your kids to talk to their fahter. They may need to stand up to him just like they did to you.
Personally I vowed never to date anyone who smoked. I actually told my first husband that I would not go out with him if he continued to smoke. He stopped then and there. DH gave up smoking 13 yrs ago but the damage is done. He gets bronchitis and now pneumonia at the drop of a hat.
| Debi |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 12/23/07 08:49 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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I can assure you that my son's clothes don't reak of smoke, nor do my own, nor does DS reak when he comes home from his dad's.
Jenn....I'm going totell you something you might not believe but it's true. I never thought I smelled like smoke either. Nor did I think my clothes or furniture or house did. When I smoked in the house I only did it by the open kitchen window, blowing smoke outside. Then I quit for about 2 years. At work we never got regular breaks so we would "sneak" (yeah right) outside for a quick smoke pretending we were headed for the bathroom. It wasn't until I quit that I realized there was no sneaking involved. I could smell it on all the smokers who walked by even if I knew it had been an hour since they were outside. Perfume and body sprays don't cover it. All that happens is that you can smell the smoke underneath. It's funny that I could never figure out how the non-smokers knew when we smokers had been outside. All the clothes in my closet smelled like smoke even though they were clean and I didn't smoke in a closed house. I never smelled it when I smoked. Febreeze and candles only did a little to mask it. Then I started again, only smoking outside and only occasionally. My kids knew after the first one and my dumb @ss kept saying "no, I wasn't smoking. Someone must be burning leaves outside" (In the SPRING?! Can we say denial?) I no longer smell it on other people again but I know it's there. It's just that I'm used to it. Trust me....if you quit completely you WILL smell it on your DS when he comes back from dad's house. All it will take is about 2 weeks and you'll smell the difference.
Because I have been sick all week and found out 2 days ago I have bronchitis and a respritory infection on top of other things I haven't been able to smoke. I had a box of nicotine patches in the house from the last time I said I was going to quit "for good".I am going to try really hard to make it stick this time. Not being able to do it is a good time to stop. I thuoght I felt better last night and decided I'd have one. I went outside, lit up and almost died on the patio. I think that helped make my decision. I'm really going to try again! I think if I can make it until Jan 1st then I can do it. This time I know that thinking I can smoke "just 1" is a lie and I won't even try. I know I'm physically addicted and can't just quit anytime I want. If I manage I'll never do it again!
| wendieann |
| (journeyman) |
| 12/27/07 08:11 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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I smell it ALL the time....Nothing can hide it...Period.
When I was married, my STBXH tried to hide his smoking but I would catch him every time. Heck, I would catch him WITH a smoke out of his mouth and he would say he was HOLDING it!! During my pregnancy, the smell would make me physically sick.
Anyhow, my kids also come back smelling like smoke, and they are to young to say anything. Makes me sick.
Xmil, wouldn't care even IF she rolled down the window or not...she didn't care. Neither does STBXH or OW.
We can't do anything about it.
I am no longer sending the kids in their good jackets, because I can't constantly wash them (ruins the protection barrier)....
Sad, but true. Nothing we can do. Even WITH a court order.
JMHO
| Debi |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 12/30/07 06:12 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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I smell it ALL the time....Nothing can hide it...Period.
You're right, but smokers do not smell it and they don't think anyone else can. I say this as a smoker. I didn't believe it until the time period in which I quit. My mom would tell me the kids smelled like a "fire sale" and I thought that because I didn't smoke around them she was FOS. She wasn't.
| PrincessJ |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/02/08 02:08 PM |
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Personally...
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...I blame my tendency towards bronchitis and pneumonia on being forced to be a 2nd hand smoker as a child.
That said, I'd raise he!! if my ex was smoking in the house with our kids or in the car with our kids. That's just me.
| Misslisa1017 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 01/21/08 01:01 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Jennylynn, the reason your childrens clothing don't reak so much of smoke is because you are still a smoker. If you were to truly quit totally, the smell would gag you. Trust me. It would gag you.
I'm an ex smoker, so I pretty much know what I'm talking about. I'm six years clean. and I smoked since I was about 12 years old. My parents smoked around me when I was younger. Did no harm to me. I lived with asthma, bronchitis and now have copd and recently suffered a stroke. Don't let it fool ya. Smoking is deadly.
| Misslisa1017 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 01/21/08 01:02 PM |
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Re: Personally...
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Good for you Princess.
| Misslisa1017 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 01/21/08 01:08 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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My son has the no smoking ordered by his judge and his ass of a lawyer didn't put it in the court order. Now, he's going to have to go back to court and have it put in with the transcripts...his old GAL told him to bring the ex back to court becasue she's allowing people to smoke around the baby. He asks her why his son smells like smoke and she says
no one is smoking around him.
Well if no one is smoking around him, then this 19 month old is having cigarette breaks behind a couch somewhere. He reaks. Her parents smoke. I don't know about anywhere else but this judge seemed like he meant businesswhen he orderd no smoking around this baby. He's on his third ear infection in less than two months.
I like the idea of the note from the doctor about the baby not being around cigarette smoke. I think we are going to do that this week.
Have you tried going back to court? And what happened? Please let me know. where are you located?
| Misslisa1017 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 01/21/08 01:15 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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This is how my poor Grandson comes to our home every weekend. He reaks of a cigarette. It's horrible. His diaperbag, his clothing, his jacket, everything. His sneakers. Every part of him stinks. It's horrible.
Sad sad, sad. And here's a kid that's been affected by it with his health. But his mother denies it. Says that his ear infections are hereditary. What a moron. I'm sorry. I'm so sick of being nice. How long do you do damage to your own child? When should dad step in and offer to provide a smoke free environment?
When is enough enough?
| preemiemom |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/21/08 01:54 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Quote:
Says that his ear infections are hereditary. What a moron. I'm sorry. I'm so sick of being nice. How long do you do damage to your own child? When should dad step in and offer to provide a smoke free environment?
When is enough enough?
First, she's NOT a moron. Hereditary factors are like the #2 reason children have recurrent ear infections. If you have a parent or parents who had them recurring as a child, and their parents, etc etc etc, the more likely THEIR child is to have them.
My daughter has it on my side something horrible, and she did, indeed, have horrible recurring ear infections to the point of having tubes put in at 18 months.
Her father is also a 2 pack+ a day smoker. Even her ear doctor, who is one of the top 10 in the state of NY, didn't put smoking as the #1 cause. Yes, it is a FACTOR, but it is a combination of:
Heredity
DAYCARE (!!!!!) (WAYYYYYYYYYYY outweighs smoking as a risk factor)
Smoking
Prematurity/low birth weight
Sooo, why dont you stop just LOOKING for excuses for your son to take this child away from its mother? It's wearing very thin and becoming VERY transparent.
| Misslisa1017 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 01/21/08 02:55 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Preemiemom,
Please, get off your high horse. I don't need your crap today.
My son has let this girl get away with this for too long. I'm glad he's finally going to do something. What really is disheartening is I had a stroke and wasn't there to help him out through all of this and probably took away some of his attention from the issues. He has trouble with his handwriting, and yeah he probably could've had someone help him fill out paperwork, but he was worried while I was in the hospital.
Anyway, the important thing is, look it up on the web, smoking and ear infections. You'll be suprised at what you find. I'm not sure if you smoke or not, and I'm not going to make the assumption and say that you probably smoke.
But all the professionals that my son has talked to so far have stated to my son that smoking is the number one reason for repeated ear infections. Number two is exposure to sick children, number three hereditary factors.
Her family does not have hereditary factors other than the smoking. And cps has been involved because of it. Because the parents were told to quit because of the harm it was doing to their youngest child and they would not stop smoking around him. Let me back that up, they were told to either quit, or take it outside, and they told cps workers that they would not smoke outside.
This little boy is now hearing impaired. Yep from repeated ear infections.
No I'm not kidding. I know this because my youngest is best friends with the boy. He's a sweetie. He's got tubes in his ears. His parents have told us they dont' give a crap that their smoking caused it, they will continue to keep smoking. Screw the system. They drink, do drugs and that's their business. Hey, to each their own right?
He's not allowed to play with my son anymore because the parents don't want their son to accidentally tell us that there are drugs in his house, nor is my son allowed at their home because my son gets sick at their house because of the smoking. Such is life.
My son has no intention of taking that baby away from mom, if that was his intention he would've done it along time ago, he's waited a long time to do that. He feels mom is just as important as he is. You are very one sided sometimes.
Don't judge, because this time you are wrong. He won't stand by and watch is son deteriorate. He's had plenty of conversations with Mom, asking and pleading with her to please keep the child out of the smoke for healths sake. And if she needed a setting for the baby to please call him or me or anyone that there was a non smoking setting.
Dad has always been there. For babysitting, for financial purposes for whatever mom has needed. Hasn't missed child support. Is always there for the baby, hasn't missed a visitation. He's a great father. Mom is a great Mom, but she's making some bad choices is all. It doesn't make her a bad mom. And no she shouldn't lose custody over it.
That's not my sons intention at this point anyways. His intention right now is to get the no smoking into the court order. So hopefully she'll actually follow. But I ask you. IF she's not following it now, knowing that the judge ordered it, even though it wasn't put in the court order, do you honestly think she's going to follow it once it's in there.
I have a feeling she won't.
But even though I have a feeling she won't. I do hold the hope that she will. I want to hold hope for the future. Hope that she will, will try to make a better future for my Grandson. Because I think everyone has good in them. I like my Grandsons Mom. And I think she will eventualy do the right thing.
Lisa
| Misslisa1017 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 01/21/08 02:56 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Again he's not looking to take the baby away...And the baby is not in DAYCARE so get over the DAYCARE thing.
| Miranda |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/24/08 05:07 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Quote:
Again he's not looking to take the baby away...And the baby is not in DAYCARE so get over the DAYCARE thing.
You go girl. People need to realize that not everything is about them. The constant changing of subject matters makes it hard to understand what the thread is even about.
| Relayer |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/25/08 11:49 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Just as an FYI, Chantix does work.
And yes, it's easy to smell smoke. Just as a non-drinker can more easily smell alcohol.
And yes, there is a link between ear infections and smoking
Worse, there is a link between smoking and cancer, be it first or secondhand smoke.
But, back to Chnatix, including myself, I know 5 others that have quit in the last year using it. It didn't take long either. To me, it was a miracle drug.
| Miranda |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/26/08 09:42 AM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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Oprah just had this on this week. They said that out of 4 cigarettes the parent smokes, the child smokes one due to second hand smoke. Smoking in the car with children is horrible.
My old neighbor smoked like a chimney in her house and her daughter was constantly sick, always...and then she would complain about her doctor "not knowing what was wrong". I would say how about giving her some clean air to breathe for starters.
| Misslisa1017 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 01/26/08 01:08 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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And they'd look at you like you had two heads. Some people don't want to hear that cigarettes are the cause of illness. Plain and simple. And that's okay. We can just agree to disagree here. That's all.
Second hand smoke is dangerous to everyone.
| Rebecca5 |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/26/08 01:18 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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My grandpa got a little bitty dog about 8 months ago, who lays on his lap all day long. He smokes about 3 packs a day. His little white dog is now mostly yellow, and she wheezes and [censored] all day. :/ It makes me angry that he does that to a DOG. When people do it to their kids.....bah.
| Misslisa1017 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 02/04/08 12:24 PM |
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Re: Smoking around the kids
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I hear what you are saying. My Grandson came here today, and his mom sent him with food in ziplock bags. When his Dad opened the bags the food inside smelled like cigarettes. It was so nasty he didn't even feed it to the kid. How do you do this to a child? He told me to smell it and it smelled like they blew cigarette smoke right into the bag, and you know they didn't, so it goes to show how much they are smoking inside the home.
Yet they are claiming that they aren't. He is keeping the bag sealed and all for evidence, not that it'll do much. (in my opinion.)
It's just a waste of time is all.
Lisa