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The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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Advice please other that Jack Daniels. Oh Lordy. I mean we have both and sold 3 houses together smooth as butter when we were happily married. Our realtor quit today as she was going through her own divorce and sort of lost it over a certain party argueing over the cost to pay for pruning a peach tree. . Jeez Louise I wish she had told me that from the get go. I think Madeleine Albreicht had easier negotiations in the Middle East than this. Any advice. We cannot meet with the realtor together and spouse is not speaking to me. I am in the house and want to sell it. Spouse is so angry he is about to burst into flames and seems to have issues with everything.
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matart1
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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08/25/06 07:33 AM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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what is so important that you two cannot negotiate the sale of the house.
the option to lay down is that it is either sold or not.
is one person trying to gain ahead on the sale of the home which could be causing resentment.
someone is going to need to learn to compromise.
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Cinder2
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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08/25/06 04:34 PM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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hmmmmm..... maybe let the spouse deal with it all if he doesn't like how you're doing it?
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Miranda
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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08/25/06 07:07 PM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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how do you sell a house without communicating?
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Spring
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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08/26/06 11:54 AM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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Hmmm. Well, if he wants to sell, your Realtor can work with you both seperately. If he doesn't want to sell, have him try and buy you out. If he can't and doesn't want to sell...see if you can get a court order. The positive side is that because you are living in the home and he isn't(am I right?) then you can easily show the home and entertain offers. The hard part is getting him to agree to a price and sign off.
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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If you are both on the deed. No sense trying to sell until you are both in total agreement. Tell him/her we can let our lawyers settle it and then they will take more of the proceeds... that will probably bring some agreement.
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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At least you're motivated. I was trying to get my exwife to sell the house she agreed to sell last year in August. In that time she quit paying the mtge, quit paying the homeowners association, and quit any upkeep whatsoever. Highly motivated to sell, eh?
I gave her an ultimatum that I would either take her to court on, oh i don't know, about 163 counts of contempt, or she could let me buy her out for an amount that equaled 1/4th of the equity she would have earned had she done what she agreed to in the first place.
Now I have money to fix it up and make it sell. And the faster I do it the more I make. She cost me a freaking fortune.
Have your lawyer file a motion to compel and get him off his ass.
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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2nd realtor just quit. One of the problems I am having is that I have to communicate with stbx through either realtor or attorney and things are getting really mixed up and hostile.
I am in house and am arranging repairs and have to sit around here --you know taking up my time letting repair people in the house. I asked through realtor that stbx go drive to Hardware store and buy various widgets that are broken and need to be replaced --that I would pay 1/2 for widgets and 1/2 to install widgets and make the arrangements . He said he does not want to do that because "his time is more valuable than mine". He is high income professional--little ole me is taking classes, trying to find job and trying to find new place to live and trying to make all arrangements to fix house and sell it and am very busy as well . Am I being unrealistic asking him to donate time to stand in line to buy widgets and make a couple of dump runs just to get the show on the road and some division of labor. Is it up to the spouse in the house to do all time and work to sell the house ?? He has a lot of junk here in garage that just needs to be hauled to dump. The realtor even implied that his time was more valuable than mine and that I should be the one to spend time finding and buying the needed widgets. I found this insulting.
How do you fix and sell a house with a stbx that will neither assist nor communicate?? We both want to sell but he won't lift a finger and I don't feel it is fair that I should have to do everything.
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Spring
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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09/04/06 09:49 AM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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I would hire a handy man and ask your stbx to contribute 1/2 the bill. I would find the inference that someone's time is more valuable than mine insulting too. Keep in mind that divorce is often 'unfair' to one or both parties. Accept that and move ahead with your plans to sell. The goal here is to get rid of your ex and anything that keeps you tied to him. If it means you take control of the situation, so be it.
Some Realtors do have compassion. Still, their job is to sell your home, not mediate any negotiations between the two of you...although I have been successful at both, lol. Hopefully your next Realtor has some compassion for the difficult situation you're in.
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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Fair or not, if the house is going to be sold then one of you is going to have to bite the bullet and get the work done.
Forward progress will not come as the result of a staring match waiting for the other party to blink.
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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What the pits is that his attorney is gonna file sanctions if the house does not have a for sale sign in front of it soon. But I am the only one going to hardware store, calling repair people and contractors, painters, yard guy, roof guy, carting old stuff to dump and charity drop off and this is all the stuff that the realtor wanted done . I am doing all this work and they wanna file sanctions cause it is not listed yet. Yeah right!! I am going to keep a log of my time and expenses and try to have my attorney argue to be reimbursed for repairs, and the cost of my time out of escrow. It's just a pain because it is a large house--and there is only me doing everything so that's why it is taking longer. If he would help or at least communicate directly it would move it along faster.
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Buckeye
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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09/06/06 06:02 AM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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Have the damn for sale sign put in front of the house then. Doesn't mean you have to allow anyone in the house until you are ready.
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Cinder2
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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09/06/06 08:45 PM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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Yeah, just list it for the price you want with all the repairs done. Who knows, you might get lucky and it might sell anyway! :)
Cinder
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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My attorney called and said Because stbx will not remove his hazardous waste from side of house or agree to pay for repairs or assist in getting them done and we cannot come to any agreement about it or how the house is to be listed and the realtors quit, our attorneys think the solution is to have the house sold "as is" at a loss of about 100K through a court appointed receivorship. It represents about a 50K loss to each of us but neither of us is gonna budge. I am glad that this new development is royally pissing him off though. Supposedly he is screaming and ranting at work. Very expensive to him to be stubborn. I think I may win this staring match or at least give his already high blood pressure a nice rise. I do love to ruin his day.
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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Went through the same thing when we were selling. He thinks his time more valuable. He always hated home stuff. I was the maid and did everything. Garage sales, decorating, painting, papering...calling and being there for contractors. He filed divorce the day we signed contract. Over $100K in equity, told me before I put on market that he would help in the marketing, move etc. but guess what?? NADA! Left me a 4300 sq ft home and 40x60 building to pack, his stuff, kids stuff, find an attorney, a place to live out of the area, and all the other worries in 5 weeks!. He moved away almost 2 years prior and now he gets half but I did all the maintenance and upkeep all while I was working too. I know one thing, I will work just like the men and only contribute my 50% next time. Won't be someone's door mat. Well, I did get him to sign a document that he pay me the 6% commission and the move. When we went to tmep hearing in April, I pulled my paper out and said What about this? Well he agreed to it, but now says his lawyer says it won't hold up in court. I hope it does. I did the work..I should get paid for it.
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Spring
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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09/07/06 11:03 PM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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Hmmm....put a For Sale By Owner sign up then :-) Then you can list with a Realtor when you're ready...is there a court Document that specifies you have to list with a brokerage? If not, this might buy you some more time.
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Buckeye
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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09/08/06 04:49 AM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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If it wasn't that you needed the money, wouldn't it be nice to sell the house for pennies like they did on The First Wives Club. That would be the ultimate payback!!!
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Sorry
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(recently joined)
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09/15/06 12:18 PM
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Re: The Misery of Selling a House With Hostile Spouse
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I have a similar issue. I don't live in the house (I moved out after I felt my life was in danger). But, because he doesn't have a job, I have to pay all of the bills on the house. So, my two children and I live at my Mom's house (we share one bed). The house is up for sale, and we have an offer. But, my stbx won't accept the offer. There is no incentive for him to move (he is living there for free). Plus, he has destroyed the house. It is now appraised for $80,000 lower than when I moved out. My lawyer says the only option I have is to have the house put into receivership. Does anyone have any other ideas. I just want out!
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