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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/30/08 08:07 PM
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what to do next
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i filed for divorce last week in TN by mail. i live in NC with my sister. what do i do now. i have all the papers, mda, affidavits,etc. i'm doing 3 stepdivorce.com divorce online .the court sent me a letter (order) to attend parenting class and a temporary injunction saying not to move any money and to keep track of all spending and not take any of children's savings etc. my wife is going to make it rough. does anybody know if i can sign and notarize my mda separately from my wife in TN. or will the court request the mda and other papers or do i have to send them to them. my main question is HOW DO I DO THIS. my wife is trying to trick me and says she has a lawyer after i already told her i was filing with 3step. she wanted me to send her a copy of the papers i already sent her. she said her lawyer would make changes and fedex them to me and for me to sign and fedex them back. it's been 3 weeks and no papers. i still went on with me filing because i didn't believe her. now i have filed and gotten that letter. i'm sure she got one too. this is TN where i'm filing. will i get a notice from court for a hearing or what. [color:blue] [/color]
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BetsyR
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(member)
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01/31/08 07:05 AM
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Re: what to do next
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Your wife is entitled to get a lawyer -- last time I looked TN was still in the USA! It's not likely she got a lawyer just to trick you. Sounds like you need one too. If you have no idea of the basics, like whether or not a hearing will occur, you need to talk to a lawyer ASAP.
The instructions in the court order , " to attend parenting class and a temporary injunction saying not to move any money and to keep track of all spending and not take any of children's savings etc." are completely typical (and reasonable) and are no indication that your wife intends to make it rough. Besides, what do you mean by "rough"? Do you mean that you won't get exactly what you want in your divorce?
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 09:43 AM
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Re: what to do next
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the temporary injuction and parenting classes thing wasn't what i meant by her making it rough. she already was is what i meant. she wants full custody and the house and alimony. she makes 60,000/yr and i am on disability. you took it the wrong way. she does not agree on anyhting. i told her she could have the house and then she said you trying to stick her. she will not agree with anything i say.
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googledad
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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01/31/08 10:08 PM
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Re: what to do next
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If she won't agree to the terms , you'll have to sue for divorce .
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BetsyR
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(member)
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01/31/08 10:11 PM
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Re: what to do next
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Sorry I took your post the wrong way. If she makes $60K/year & you're on disability, maybe she'll have to pay YOU alimony. Get a lawyer.
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 10:13 PM
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Re: what to do next
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i thought since i filed if she doesn't agree she would have to counter file or something like that. do you mean if she does not agree my filing will be dismissed or will everything still go from my original case no.
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 10:17 PM
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Re: what to do next
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that's okay. thanks for the reply. i never even thought of that. vick
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googledad
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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01/31/08 10:19 PM
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Re: what to do next
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She doesn't have to counter-file , just answer the complaint , the divorce will procede from there . You should only use an online service when both parties are in total agreement with all the terms necessary to finalize the divorce .
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 10:22 PM
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Re: what to do next
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i found that out the hard way when i started this. is there any way i can still do this against a lawyer on my own. do you think i have a chance? vick
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M5M5
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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01/31/08 10:25 PM
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Re: what to do next
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Yes, you would fair better with an attorney, and it's not too late to retain one. Better late than never!
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 10:34 PM
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Re: what to do next
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hope you're not getting tired of replying but she don't have the money to hire an attorney. the last one milked her for 6000 when we went for divorce 2 yrs ago. mine only charged 2400. plus i can appeal and it will cost her even more and i wont have to pay more because i dont have a lawyer. right? i can go to appellate court.
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M5M5
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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01/31/08 10:39 PM
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Re: what to do next
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You shouldn't care whether or not she has an attorney. YOU need one. If she makes alot more than you, you can request that she pay your attorney fees.
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 10:54 PM
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Re: what to do next
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whats the worst that could happen if i dont get an attorney. i know the judge will let me see my children. and if she gets the house ok. and she cant get alimony because she makes 5 times what i do. so i'm not gonna get a lawyer because i cant afford one. i'm gonna take my chances. if they kill me they can't eat me.lol
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 10:56 PM
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Re: what to do next
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i dont want her to pay for my attorney. it will take money from the kids
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googledad
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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01/31/08 11:00 PM
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Re: what to do next
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Vick , you're looking at it the wrong way , the best thing for all parties is an agreement you can both live with . The threat that she may have to pay you alimony and your legal fees are a means to an end , a negotiated settlement . Learn to play " the game " like she is with her threats of a restraining order .
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 11:25 PM
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Re: what to do next
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i dont wont her to pay attorney fee. it will take money from my kids
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Buckeye
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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01/31/08 11:28 PM
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Re: what to do next
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Let her pay the attorney fee and you can get the money to the kids yourself by buying clothes, school supplies, etc.
That way, she will be hurt but the kids won't be.
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 11:30 PM
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Re: what to do next
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thanks for your help. that gives me a new perspective on this. i just dont have money for a lawyer. temp inj said we cant spend any money that is not for standard living expenses
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vick
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(journeyman)
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01/31/08 11:32 PM
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Re: what to do next
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great idea .thanks vick
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Redlegg
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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02/01/08 05:26 AM
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Re: what to do next
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Are you living on Fort Bragg or in Fayettenam
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vick
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(journeyman)
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02/01/08 09:19 AM
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Re: what to do next
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yes in fayetteville
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