(old hand)
12/15/06 12:40 PM
Tell me to keep going.............

Today is the last day before school gets out. My kids leave tonight with the x for Christmas. I lost it last night during dinner. Today I am even worse.

My parents were going to come visit for the holiday but they live in MI and my dad has been sick and they now can't come.........I will be totally alone. Since this just came up I am not sure how I feel, but I am faced with many emotions.

As long as my kids have been there I've never really had time to think of much else but them. There are a couple of girlfriends I could call and I know I would be envited over, but I just don't want to be third wheel at someone elses family events.

I am thinking I will go to Late Christmas Eve service as usual, then possibly find a church that maybe does a Christmas morning service as my own church doesn't cause they want everyone at home with "family".

To top it off my AP didn't turn in two of my time sheets for tutorials so I am missing some extra funds for the holiday. And with being sick this past two weeks, I really needed and was counting on the funds.

So, anyway, my pity party is over now.

I will call my broker and get some money and find someway to remember the real reason for the holiday, faith in a child................

12/15/06 12:54 PM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

WOW! I'd have you join me in my pity party today but I'm trying to refocus my energy, I think the reality that Christmas is just around the corner and my wedding anniversary 2 days after Christmas is part of my funk, if my kids were going to be gone I would be really off so I'm sending you a hug and I'll be part of your pity party anytime

(old hand)
12/15/06 12:57 PM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

Thanks bb.......hugs right back.

(Carpal \'Tunnel)
12/15/06 01:02 PM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

Can you volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter? It might help you feel better helping someone else who is in a worse place than you right now..

Just an idea...

12/15/06 03:15 PM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

Just so that you will know, you are not alone in your situation. I have no family at allÖ none. I have no children. All of my friends will be with their families. I will be alone. This won't be the first time that I have spent the holidays alone. I used to fear it. It used to depress me. I tried all manner of things to keep myself occupied. I volunteered my time. That depressed me because I realized I was volunteering my time because I was alone. I went to friendís houses for dinner. That depressed me because I felt like an outsider. I went to meals put on by a local Church for people in my situation. That depressed me because it sharpened by sense of loneliness. One year I just stayed home by myself and I realized it was actually pleasant. Now that is my preference. Anyway, whatever you do, try to enjoy it. It is only one day and the day will pass, and although you may feel it, you will not have been forgotten.

Sending best wishes for an easy Christmas

(Carpal \'Tunnel)
12/15/06 03:28 PM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

And while you are staying home, keeping your self company, make a nice meal, get out the good china and stemware, decorate your table, put on some Christmas music and really enjoy the day.

12/15/06 05:37 PM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

I can't imagine how hard sending the kids off is at this time of year and then feeling alone at Christmas. Be good to yourself! Find things to do that bring you comfort and joy. Keep posting here, we're all here to help in encouraging you and help you get through this!


12/15/06 06:45 PM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

I will probably be alone on Christmas Day also. I have one son, now 27. Last year was the first for he and d-i-l as a married couple and they wanted the day just for them. Nothing wrong with that... although I did curse EX a few times for being so admanant on wanting no further children after our son was born.

The 24 hours of CHristmas passed, although at at times it seem like more than 24 hours. It was not as bad as I had anticipated.

My suggestion is that all of us who will be alone (any anyone else who wants to join in) pick a time and post on here. We could almost be instant messaging if it we work out a time.

One other thing I did... in prep for the event that all of the Christmas stuff on tv and radio proved to be too saddening at times... I rented a couple of movies and had them to watch.

I am searching for a church that is doing a Christmas dinner and hope to find one and volunteer to work there. Our homeless shelter in the nearby big city is, unfortunately, in a very unsafe part of the city and I will not venture there alone. So that is not an option for me.


(old hand)
12/15/06 07:02 PM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

Yeah, me too, we have many evacuee's from New Orleans and I am not bashing them because I feel for their plight, it's just the crime rate and homelessnes has gone way up in Houston.

The movie idea is a good one. Perhaps I will rent a couple and save them for that time. I am wanting to see the Davinci Code, so there's a choice for me.

They left a little while ago and I was was tough. My daughter completely lost it, and I started to tear up but then thought that wasn't fair to the kids. They need to know it's alright to go over there an not worry about anyone but themselves as kids should. Son was fine, all he cares about is what's in it for him right now, which is usual for his fifteen year old self. He will miss me some I am sure but will be too busy worrying about whether or not he is getting that ipod or xbox he wants.

So, it's started and I am fairing well so far. I made some chili and going to eat in a bit.

I will come here to post if anyone else wants to join in, let's do it to it. I like that idea Karen, and thanks everyone for some comfort in probably the hardest time I've had yet since being divorced.

Just gotta keep going, right?

12/15/06 07:13 PM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

Yes... gotta keep going. Stiff upper lip and all of that. Think about a time and we will get the word out

Christmas Open House on DS Life After Divorce at.......

BYOB and snacks.

(Carpal \'Tunnel)
12/18/06 08:59 AM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

Movies are good. I plan to give myself a facial and all of that other girlie stuff.

(recently joined)
12/19/06 09:31 AM
Re: Tell me to keep going.............

I will miss the kids, but...

I like to take advantage of the holidays by catching up with friends, family, and by attending an event or two. Keeping busy is the key. There always seems to be a lot various activities going on, and you still have this week to plan some things, that will fill you with holiday cheer.

Let me tell you what I have planned. Maybe it will give you some ideas of your own.

Christmas Eve I will go out to a quiet pub for the afternoon where there will be a get together for musicians to play some tunes, eat some good food, and have a couple of rounds. I attended such an event last year and had a great time.

Christmas Day there is a family gathering at my brothers place where we will exchange presents, have a Christmas dinner, and enjoy spending some time together. Boxing day will see me at a small get together of friends and musicians to spend some time swapping stories and playing some tunes.

There is always something a person can do. There isnít any need to sit at home. Chances are next year will be even better.


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