MommyOf2
(recently joined)
09/24/07 02:01 PM
Relocating out of state

I have got a question for anyone that has an answer. I am getting ready to divorce my husband, but I need to move out of state because I will need to be around my family to help me out with my two boys. I have got two toddlers and I will not be able to afford childcare. My family said that they would help out, but my husband does not want me to move. I have been told that in the state of Kentucky, I would have to get approval to move. Does anybody know who I would have to contact to get approval for the move? I would appreciate it because this is an urgent move and I need some advice.

ssmom79
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/24/07 02:17 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

The person you have to get approval from is your husband.

Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/24/07 03:07 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

And Mr. Judge

MommyOf2
(recently joined)
09/24/07 03:10 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

I know that I have to get approval from the judge, and the husband is not willing to accept the fact that I need to move. Is there any other advice out there? I am at a loss right now.

googledad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/24/07 03:11 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

What's the present custodial situation ? Sole or joint ?

MommyOf2
(recently joined)
09/24/07 03:13 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

We are currently living together and I am getting ready to file for a divorce, but I need to move before I do it because he said that he would not help with daycare or any other expenses if I filed. I cannot do it by myself either.

googledad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/24/07 03:18 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

Quote:

We are currently living together and I am getting ready to file for a divorce, but I need to move before I do it because he said that he would not help with daycare or any other expenses if I filed. I cannot do it by myself either.




>>>>>>>>>>>Moving before the divorce is a REALLY BAD IDEA . Finish the divorce before you even consider relocating , you're putting yourself at a disadvantage if you do . When you file your divorce petition request child support .


Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/24/07 03:18 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

Quote:

What's the present custodial situation ? Sole or joint ?




That doesnt matter. She still has to follow whatever the state statute is.


Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/24/07 03:19 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

Quote:

We are currently living together and I am getting ready to file for a divorce, but I need to move before I do it because he said that he would not help with daycare or any other expenses if I filed. I cannot do it by myself either.




If you move with the child and then file for divorce, count on losing custody.


googledad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/24/07 03:20 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

There are no statutes regarding relocation in Kentucky , everything is governed by case law .

Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/24/07 03:27 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

Quote:

There are no statutes regarding relocation in Kentucky , everything is governed by case law .




OK..haha...and some Kentucky Burbon too...


Goodmom
(Pooh-Bah)
09/24/07 04:26 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

Quote:

We are currently living together and I am getting ready to file for a divorce, but I need to move before I do it because he said that he would not help with daycare or any other expenses if I filed. I cannot do it by myself either.




Just how far away are you proposing to move the toddlers away from their father?

There are several things that you need to take into consideration:

Mainly, their ages. You said toddlers. To me, that is real young. The long distance parenting plan really isn't all that good for very young children. It involves extended time away from both parents. Real young children need frequent contact. Not months in between contact.

As for his threatening not to help financially, that is an idle threat. When you file for divorce, you will also file to get temporary child support set-up. I recommend asking that it is garnished from his wages.

You can also file to get temporary spousal support set-up so that you can continue to pay for the marital bills while working on the settlement.

I would also like to point out just how important it would be for your children to have their father close to them.

If they are close, they don't have to give up summer activities (he will get most of the summer and most of school breaks/holidays) because they have to go to spend time with their father. And if they are close, their father will be able to go and see them play their sports when they are older. And that is important to the kids. They like to know that both parents care enough to take the time to watch them play a game. Or even practice.

By moving too far away, you will deprive your kids of that.


MommyOf2
(recently joined)
09/25/07 10:19 AM
Re: Relocating out of state

I understand where you are coming from when you talk about the kids needing their father around, but it does me no good to fight with him when he does not want to be a part of their lives. My kids are 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 and love their Daddy a whole bunch, but he just wants to be able to go out and party and act like a kid. As far as the distance that I would be moving, it would be approximately 750 miles. I would be moving from Kentucky to New York. I have got nobody to help me here and I am definitely not going to get help from his family. Any suggestions?

Goodmom
(Pooh-Bah)
09/25/07 04:23 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

Quote:

I understand where you are coming from when you talk about the kids needing their father around, but it does me no good to fight with him when he does not want to be a part of their lives. My kids are 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 and love their Daddy a whole bunch, but he just wants to be able to go out and party and act like a kid. As far as the distance that I would be moving, it would be approximately 750 miles. I would be moving from Kentucky to New York. I have got nobody to help me here and I am definitely not going to get help from his family. Any suggestions?




Your ex may want to party. But if he really wants to stick it to you, he can insist on following the long-distance parenting plan to the letter.

Which means that your 1 1/2 year old and 2 1/2 year old are going to be spending months away from you. In the care of babysitters while your stbx parties. Is that what you want?

You may also want to take into consideration that it is not uncommon for judges to order the parent who moved away to cover 100% of the transportation charges. And kids as young as yours can't fly by themselves.

And plane tickets aren't cheap. Neither is hiring someone to travel with them (or even going with them yourself).


boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/25/07 06:35 PM
Re: Relocating out of state

Its not a good idea to move your kids away right this second. If you really need to relocate then take the right steps and be patient. Your family can support you from NY, maybe someone could come to you since your not able to go to them right now, or if its money thats an issue then maybe family can help you out now while you are still in Kentucky. When you go to court, the judge will look at a lot of factors when it comes to allocating the primary residential parent such as the relationship between the children and both parents, who cares for them more now and before the divorce, and a bunch of other things. Certainly ask for child support and explain why you need to relocate to New York. You have extended family there and a support system there and it seems that is why you are wanting to move there and I can understand that. When my ex and I divorced I moved 4 hours away to be with family, but the ex never contested the move away so I didn't have to worry.
People have strong opinions when it comes to move away cases. People think its realistic to keep a unity of mother, father, and kids together with a divorce, but sometimes its just not possible so the court will decide on whats best for the children if you can't come to an agreement with your future ex. Do what you have to do, but keep the kids as your top priority. Good luck.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/26/07 06:30 PM
I cannot believe it......

In another thread on this very site, you are giving every reason in the world why this poster shouldn't move -- you damned hypocrite!

So, he didn't contest a four hour move and now you want to move YOUR kids another 8 hours away?

YOU, Missy are in NO position to be giving ANYONE advice about this topic --


boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/27/07 03:13 PM
Re: I cannot believe it......

My name isn't Missy BeachBumRN.

BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 04:19 PM
Hmmmmm.....

And neither is mine BeachBabeRN but the RN portion is true.....and being a beach bum is my idea of high living, MISSY.

As I said, you're a HYPOCRITE. In YOUR thread, everyone said the same things that YOU are saying to this poster to YOU. Suddenly it's OKAY for YOU to give advice when you're contemplating ripping your own children from their father?

I'd sure rather be called MISSY than HYPOCRITE.

As for you -- YOUR family can help support YOU right now so HUBBY can move for his precious 20K. it is ALWAYS possible to retain unity among a parent and his/her children and it is the RIGHT thing to do. You whine and pout and carry on that it's BEST for your kids to move so YOUR HUSBAND can take his precious raise -- and then advise this poster to wait and be patient.

YOU be patient and stop whining -- put on your big girl panties, realize that YOU have an obligation to your children FIRST. As I said MISSY, you are in NO position to give advice about this topic.

You APPEAR to be nothing but a self centered whiny little girl -- grow the h@ll UP! YOU do what you're advising this poster to do -- and remember, HER reasons for moving appear a whole lot more compelling than yours although I wouldn't speculate about whether she will be successful or not. YOUR reasons for moving are self centered, selfish and do NOT take your children's realtionship with their FATHER into consideration at all.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 04:27 PM
Goodmom?

Sorry to hijack your thread, truly I am......;o)

However, there are always different ways to do things. For instance, if you can work at a job for the moment, couple that with your child support, your children will eventually go to school, which will allow you to go on to higher education yourself, if that's what you choose. It's not impossible -- I raised my now 18 and 15 year olds alone, away from family -- went to nursing school when my youngest started kindergarten.

Was it hard as anything I've ever done? Sure was......but the kids and I got through it together. I didn't have any family around me either and HAD the freedom to move -- I simply chose to do it myself. The kids went to daycare and before and after school and I had sitters that came in for them while I worked.

Was it a perfect solution? No, it surely was not.....but they turned out fine, good students, hard workers and most of all, decent human beings that understand the value of hard work and doing it together --

Look around and see how creative you can be to remain in the area where your kids' dad is.....while it may not seem as if he wants to be with them now, it's up to you to take the high road and do the right thing FOR YOUR KIDS. When we become parents, we give up the right to make ourselves first until they are much older, as mine are.

My husband has a 12 year old that lives about 50 miles away -- and while we want to move out of our area desperately, there is NO WAY he will put any further distance between him and his child. His ex was permitted to move that distance by him, something I think he regrets but he takes a lot of time on his relationship with his child. We won't leave the state until his child has graduated from high school and started on his future -- and that's as it should be.

I didn't have these issues as my husband worked all over the world as a marine engineer and could always travel to see his kids -- does he regret those choices? Sometimes I think he does, but it's what paid the bills......

Think longer and more creatively about what you can do in this situation.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 04:39 PM
Whoops......

I should have said **mommyof 2**

That's what I get for not reading back far enough to see who the OP is!


boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/27/07 05:11 PM
Re: Goodmom?

You are an idiot and don't know what the fudge your talking about. You know nothing of my circumstances and have no right to sit on your ass and judge other people. Do you want to start paying our freakin bills? Do you want to put food on our table? Unless YOU start sending some money my way, you have no right to tell me what I should or should not do to provide for MY kids. If I want to travel 8 hrs away to be with MY husband and support HIS career and take my kids with me, then that is my decision. If I feel that its best for my kids to move away and have a long distance relationship with mental case then I will try my hardest and do so. I really don't care about your personal opinion regarding this situation cuz you don't know crap. I don't care that your a RN, I don't care that you think I'm whiny. I just don't give a crap about you or your stupid opinions. You come across as on of those know it all, controlling *itches that I avoid in my daily life, cuz MEAN PEOPLE SUCK and you lady are nasty!!

And to the poor girl that posted this thread, I gave her honest advice because I know what shes feeling and going through. She needs to think of her kids, and if she feels like taking herself and her little family to NY to be with family then I say go for it. I wish her the best of luck in getting away from that husband of hers and hope she and her children live a happy life.


boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/27/07 05:15 PM
Re: Goodmom?

.....and whats this fascination with you and "big girl panties MISSY?......

Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 06:09 PM
Re: Goodmom?

You are an idiot and don't know what the fudge your talking about. You know nothing of my circumstances

--> You have already explained your circumstances in detail

and have no right to sit on your ass and judge other people. Do you want to start paying our freakin bills?

---> Did your utilities get turned off? Yikes

Do you want to put food on our table?

---> You are starving too?

Unless YOU start sending some money my way, you have no right to tell me what I should or should not do to provide for MY kids. If I want to travel 8 hrs away to be with MY husband and support HIS career and take my kids with me, then that is my decision.

---> For the 12,000th time and 12,000 person here saying it, it is NOT your decision. It is a decision of a Judge, who will most likely tell you NO. You can support your husbands career. But not if you want to keep the kids. Thats just the way it goes.


If I feel that its best for my kids to move away and have a long distance relationship with mental case then I will try my hardest and do so.

--> It IS best for you rkids to move away..right after you drop them off at Dad's you can move...lock, stock and barrel. You are NOT just going to be allowed to move and if by some wild stretch of the imagination you are allowed, you will be required to provide 100% of transportation for your kids to visit their Dad, which will be OFTEN and for much greater lengths of time than now. Like months at a stretch. Thats the way it goes.

I really don't care about your personal opinion regarding this situation cuz you don't know crap. I don't care that your a RN, I don't care that you think I'm whiny. I just don't give a crap about you or your stupid opinions. You come across as on of those know it all, controlling *itches that I avoid in my daily life, cuz MEAN PEOPLE SUCK and you lady are nasty!!

--> She's basically just saying what a judge is going to tell you anyway.


And to the poor girl that posted this thread, I gave her honest advice because I know what shes feeling and going through. She needs to think of her kids,

--> RN point is you do too and you are not.

and if she feels like taking herself and her little family to NY to be with family then I say go for it.

--> You can say anything you want. A judge will disagree.

I wish her the best of luck in getting away from that husband of hers and hope she and her children live a happy life.




--> You are going to lose your kids if you dont lose that attitude. 100% and mark my words.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 06:11 PM
Well?

You just proved every word I wrote, MISSY.

I have in no way told you what to do, I gave my OPINION on what you posted to a public forum. I'm sorry that you don't LIKE the advice that you were given, regardless of the tone in which people spoke.

I have no need to pay your bills or put food on your table as that's what I have always done for my family and continue to do so today. There should be no reason for me to send any money your way.

I am in no way controlling, mean, nasty or b!tchy but I surely understand why you would perceive me that way -- anyone that disagreed with you was told they were rude, nasty, etc. because your POV was not validated.

You are absolutely free to do as you choose however, the law has placed limitations on what you're ABLE to do when it comes to disrupting a relationship between an NCP and his/her chiuldren. THAT'S what you're dealing with -- the law.

I have spent the last 17 plus years rasing my children ALONE. I am obviously MUCH older than you. I did what I could for my children, we learned together and have a strong relationship today with them. I had no need to follow ANYONE because they made more money, I got out and worked MYSELF. However, I would NEVER have considered trying to disrupt my kids' relationship with their father, had he been in the same geographical area that I was as that's far more important than money. You're saying that your kids' relationship with their father has a purchase price and it's 20K per year.

I'm uncertain whether you are employed outside your home or not but if you aren't, maybe you could help your husband by going to work and making the damn 20K you want to take your children away from their father for. That's not all that hard, it's $10 per hour.

You're a whiny self centered brat -- not that it makes any difference to me. However, perhaps if you had your own way to make that money, it wouldn't be necessary to follow a man, albeit your husband, to get it.

Live your life but don't come whining here when your ex prevents your children's moving -- the only thing I'll say is **I told you so**


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 06:12 PM
Relayer?

You da bomb diggity!

Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 06:18 PM
Re: Well?

Beachbabe,

This is a newer poster with obviously VERY LITTLE experience in protracted custody or child support battles. It happens a lot here, were people who don't know what they are talking about say "I am doing this" or "I will pay her that" or whatever. We just had a new poster the other day whose husband thinks he is calling the shots in their divorce and he couldnt be FURTHER of the mark.

These people obviously have very little experience with someone putting up a fight to be a parent. First off, her $20K increase will be eaten up in legal fee's in the first 6 months or so if the ex puts up a fight. She will probably also have to pay HIS legal fee's. For a case she has about 2% chance of winning.

You know, if she came here and said "my husband can make $75,000 a year more", I would think maybe it's better. $20K..hahaha..thats friggin peanuts..who the hell would move the entire family for $20K more a year...unless there are some serious stock options involved...no way is a judge (who makes around $250K a year) going to think $20K is much of anything and certainly not a compelling reason to move.

Boogie is going to find she is going to either lose her kids or stay put.


Goodmom
(Pooh-Bah)
09/27/07 06:27 PM
Re: Goodmom?

Quote:

You are an idiot and don't know what the fudge your talking about. You know nothing of my circumstances and have no right to sit on your ass and judge other people. Do you want to start paying our freakin bills? Do you want to put food on our table? Unless YOU start sending some money my way, you have no right to tell me what I should or should not do to provide for MY kids. If I want to travel 8 hrs away to be with MY husband and support HIS career and take my kids with me, then that is my decision. If I feel that its best for my kids to move away and have a long distance relationship with mental case then I will try my hardest and do so. I really don't care about your personal opinion regarding this situation cuz you don't know crap. I don't care that your a RN,

My response:

RN? I wish, they have more flexibility than the field that I am in.

You said:

I don't care that you think I'm whiny. I just don't give a crap about you or your stupid opinions. You come across as on of those know it all, controlling *itches that I avoid in my daily life, cuz MEAN PEOPLE SUCK and you lady are nasty!!

My response:

I would never be mean enough to take my kids to another state, away from their father. Even if I am not married to him anymore, he is still their father. It's simply not in their best interests.

So I will continue to live in a state that is really expensive, as opposed to where I grew up (and where my family still is). I will continue to scrape by so that my kids can have a decent relationship with their father.

Some of us do put our kids first. And any man that I decide to remarry will know that there is no way that I would follow him to a different state until my kids are grown.

Goodmom
(Pooh-Bah)
09/27/07 06:30 PM
Re: Goodmom?

Quote:

Sorry to hijack your thread, truly I am......;o)

However, there are always different ways to do things. For instance, if you can work at a job for the moment, couple that with your child support, your children will eventually go to school, which will allow you to go on to higher education yourself, if that's what you choose. It's not impossible -- I raised my now 18 and 15 year olds alone, away from family -- went to nursing school when my youngest started kindergarten.

Was it hard as anything I've ever done? Sure was......but the kids and I got through it together. I didn't have any family around me either and HAD the freedom to move -- I simply chose to do it myself. The kids went to daycare and before and after school and I had sitters that came in for them while I worked.

Was it a perfect solution? No, it surely was not.....but they turned out fine, good students, hard workers and most of all, decent human beings that understand the value of hard work and doing it together --

Look around and see how creative you can be to remain in the area where your kids' dad is.....while it may not seem as if he wants to be with them now, it's up to you to take the high road and do the right thing FOR YOUR KIDS. When we become parents, we give up the right to make ourselves first until they are much older, as mine are.

My husband has a 12 year old that lives about 50 miles away -- and while we want to move out of our area desperately, there is NO WAY he will put any further distance between him and his child. His ex was permitted to move that distance by him, something I think he regrets but he takes a lot of time on his relationship with his child. We won't leave the state until his child has graduated from high school and started on his future -- and that's as it should be.

I didn't have these issues as my husband worked all over the world as a marine engineer and could always travel to see his kids -- does he regret those choices? Sometimes I think he does, but it's what paid the bills......

Think longer and more creatively about what you can do in this situation.




I'm not the OP of this thread. I'm done with college. I graduated a couple of months after I got married. And I am currently working full-time.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 06:31 PM
Re: Well?

What you say is very true Relayer and I just sent a PM to the OP apologizing for getting into a p!ssing match and hijacking her thread. Just the decent thing to do, I thought.

Little miss strikes me as young, inexperienced and fairly ignorant of what she is able to do and not do. We are all nasty and mean and rude because we can say, in no uncertain terms, what is likely to happen. She doesn't like what we say so attack the person that said it. Typical of children.....**LOL**

I saw the post from that new poster and in my opinioni, she's got him COLD when it comes to money -- I'm glad that all of you took the time to explain the realities of HER situation to her. I know she'll do fine and I hope she continues to post for support, she sounded very frightened and lonely. We are a good bunch of cheerleaders, I think!

In any event......I'm sure that we'll see the end of the little miss's battle on the Visitation Board.....probably with her whining that SHE now has to travel a total of 12 hours to see her kids once the month -- she's already moved them four hours from their dad with his approval -- I don't think he's going to agree to another 8. Then again.....who knows?

I always appreciate that you have a good insight and perspective on things of this nature Relayer and although this may be unwarranted, pray that your kids will come home to you permanantly -- your pain is so evident sometimes and I wish we could do more to help.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 06:33 PM
Goodmom?

I realized that after I posted and put the **WHOOPS** up slightly further......**LOL**

Sorry.....;o)


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 06:36 PM
Relayer....

I feel the same way you do about the 20K, it's peanuts......strangely enough it's almost what I make just in shift differential on my full time job.

However, I seem to recall that they were in West Virginia......perhaps 20K is a fortune? **LOL**


boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/27/07 06:46 PM
Re: Relayer....

You are a fu__ing Bi_ch! If you were in front of me right now I would rub your face in dirt you old hag. How dare you insult the great state that I live in. You think you are so fu__ing funny, eat sh_t! I'm done with this ridiculous web site that pretends to help people and support people when mostly all they do on here is judge and insult others. What a waste of time. I'll talk to someone whos opinion really matters and thats my lawyer!!

Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 06:53 PM
Re: Relayer....

Quote:

You are a fu__ing Bi_ch! If you were in front of me right now I would rub your face in dirt you old hag. How dare you insult the great state that I live in. You think you are so fu__ing funny, eat sh_t! I'm done with this ridiculous web site that pretends to help people and support people when mostly all they do on here is judge and insult others. What a waste of time. I'll talk to someone whos opinion really matters and thats my lawyer!!




Boogie, it is trying to help you. You just wont listen to the advice that is being given.

After you move, are ordered back and have the kids taken, log back on here and tell us all about it, because it's going to happen.

Even petitioning for such a move is grounds for a change of custody.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 06:56 PM
Well MISSY.....

If your lawyer isn't telling you what multiple people here are telling you, then he/she is lying. Taking your money because it's easy money.

Only children resort to name calling when they can't win an argument any other way, Miss Boogie.....and you'd **rub my face in dirt**? First you'd have to find some where I live, MISSY. Then you'd have to take me. And I don't think you're that good.

I'm different than you Missy. I support my own children, pay my own bills, buy my own groceries and I've done it for a very long time. I own my own home **ME, not my husband** and bought it with money I made.

I am NOT dependent on following any man for what I make in shift diff. Refuse to be. Won't be. Wouldn't think of it.

Good luck and we'll see you on the Visitation Board......**LOL**


Goodmom
(Pooh-Bah)
09/27/07 06:59 PM
Re: Relayer....

Quote:

You are a fu__ing Bi_ch! If you were in front of me right now I would rub your face in dirt you old hag.
My response:

Wow, you just threatened to assault an anonymous poster?

I feel sorry for your kids. I hate to think what you would do to them should they ever disagree with you.

Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 07:03 PM
Re: Relayer....

Quote:

Quote:

You are a fu__ing Bi_ch! If you were in front of me right now I would rub your face in dirt you old hag.
My response:

Wow, you just threatened to assault an anonymous poster?

I feel sorry for your kids. I hate to think what you would do to them should they ever disagree with you.




Pretty scary stuff GM


googledad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 07:05 PM
Re: Relayer....

Quote:

You are a fu__ing Bi_ch! If you were in front of me right now I would rub your face in dirt you old hag. How dare you insult the great state that I live in. You think you are so fu__ing funny, eat sh_t! I'm done with this ridiculous web site that pretends to help people and
support people when mostly all they do on here is judge and insult others. What a waste of time. I'll talk to someone whos opinion really matters and thats my lawyer!!







West Virginia Jokes
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family ... Really!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do West Virginians do on Halloween?

A. Pumpkin!

Q. Why do ducks fly over West Virginia upside down?

A. There's nothing worth crapping on!

Q. What do a tornado and a West Virginia divorce have in common?

A. Someone always loses a trailer.

Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

------------------------------------------------------------
Exerpts from the West Virginia Vocabulary Book

Foreclose

If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money foreclose.

Rectum

I had two Lexus coups, but my old lady rectum.

Hotel

I gave my girlfriend crabs and the hotel everybody.

Disappointment

My parole officer told me that if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the big house.

Israel

Alozono tried to sell me a rolex watch. I said man this looks fake. He said what a joke that watch israel.

Catacomb

Don King was at the fight the other night, somebody should get that catacomb.

Undermine

There is a fine looking chick living in the apartment undermine.

Acoustic

When I was 11 my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the pool hall.

Iraq

When we got to the pool hall I told my uncle you break Iraq.

Stain

My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her do you plan on stain for dinner?

Seldom

Darnell gave me two tickets to the game, and I want to seldom.

Odyssey

I told my brother you odyssey the tits on that hoe.

Horde

My sister got in trouble because she horde around.

Tripoli

My ol lady wanted a bra for her birthday but I couldn't find a tripoli.

Fortify

I axed the ho how much and she said fortify is the price honey

Income

I just got in bed with lois and income my wife.

------------------------------------------------------------

A West Virginian walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The West Virginian is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY! The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what's wrong, and the West Virginian says, "What's that noise?"

------------------------------------------------------------

West Virginia State Residency Application

Name: ________________
(last)
(first) (_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(Check appropriate box)
Age: ____
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

CB Handle: _____________________

Occupation:
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(_)Un-employed
(_)Coal Miner

Spouse's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ___

Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________

Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?
(Check appropriate box)

___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

___ Number of refrigerators on front porch

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194__
Number of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of
pickup: _________

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_)The National Enquirer
(_)The Globe
(_)TV Guide
(_)Soap Opera Digest
(_)Gun World

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Holidays
(_)Not Applicable

Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)No teeth
(_)N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don't know
(_)can't get there from here

BUMPER STICKERS:
___ Eat more Possum
___ My other car is a piece of junk too
___ Honk if you love Jesus
___ If you ain't a cowboy, you ain't nothin'
___ Red-man Chewing Tobacco

Favorite Recreation: Check all that apply:
___ Square Dancin'
___ Possum Huntin'
___ Skinny Dippin'
___ Craw Daddin'
___ Gospel Singin'
___ 4-Wheelin'
___ Drankin'
___ Spittin' Backy ___ Bill Chip Trowin'
___ Honky Tonkin'
___ Noodlin'

# of Dogs: ___ Type: ___ Blue Tick ___ Beagle
___ Black & Tan ___ Bird Dawg

Cap Emblem: ___ John Deere ___ McCulloch Chain Saws
___ Budweiser ___ Vo-Tech
___ Skoal ___ Coors
___ NAPA ___ Smile if you're Not Wearing Underwear


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 07:09 PM
LOLOLOLOLOL

Man, googledad, I can't WAIT to see what little miss says to YOU!!!!!!

I love you man!


Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 08:19 PM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Pretty funny

boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/27/07 08:20 PM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade? She gave herself a tonsilectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift. She goes by the name of BeachBabeRN.

BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 08:22 PM
Pathetic.....

Sorry Googledad did a much better job of making me laugh......

Go away little girl, you can't match wits with me, you're unarmed.


Goodmom
(Pooh-Bah)
09/27/07 08:23 PM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Quote:

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade? She gave herself a tonsilectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift. She goes by the name of BeachBabeRN.




That's much better than moving the kids away from their father.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 08:29 PM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Oh Goodmom, I see you've forgiven me for making a **whoops** by not reading back far enough to see that you weren't the OP.

I must say, this little miss has amused me, outraged me and finally disgusted me. If this is her best effort at taking a shot at me? Well, okay then......**LOL**

In addition, the post where she threatened me and this last one were sent to the moderator.....

But, stay tuned to the Visitation Board, I guarantee she'll show up there whining about the injustive of her ex being awarded custody of her kids OR that she had to stay in her fabulous home state **that she herself put down in her posts!** so that her children could continue to have a relationship with their father.

And she calls HIM a mental case!


googledad
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 09:30 PM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Boogies Residency Application ,

West Virginia State Residency Application

Name: Burke
(last)
(first) (_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(1) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(Check appropriate box)
Age: 57
Sex: ____ M _____ F (1) N/A
Shoe Size: 7 Left 12 Right

CB Handle: Hotmamaboogie

Occupation:
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(1)Un-employed
(_)Coal Miner

Spouse's Name: Delbert

Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(1) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: 8

Number that are yours: 12 ?

Mother's Name: Lulubelle

Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) no fancy schoolin for me

Do you (_)own or (1)rent your mobile home?
(Check appropriate box)

6 Total number of vehicles you own
1 Number of vehicles that still crank
2 Number of vehicles in front yard
3 Number of vehicles in back yard
5 Number of vehicles on cement blocks

3.4 Number of refrigerators on front porch

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
2 truck
6 bedroom
1 bathroom ( my asswiper )
1 kitchen ( cleans drains good , handy for killin possums )
37 shed

Model and year of your pickup: Chevy 1947
Number of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of
pickup: I cant count that hi

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(1)The National Enquirer
(1)The Globe
(1)TV Guide
(1)Soap Opera Digest
(1)Gun World

87 Number of times you've seen a UFO
112 Number of times you've seen Elvis
2v6 Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Holidays
(1)Not Applicable

Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)No teeth
(1)N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(1)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don't know
(1)can't get there from here

BUMPER STICKERS:
1 Eat more Possum
___ My other car is a piece of junk too
___ Honk if you love Jesus
___ If you ain't a cowboy, you ain't nothin'
___ Red-man Chewing Tobacco

Favorite Recreation: Check all that apply:
1 Square Dancin'
1 Possum Huntin'
___ Skinny Dippin' ( thas nasty amost like takin a bath )
1 Craw Daddin'
___ Gospel Singin'
1 4-Wheelin'
1 Drankin'
1 Spittin' Backy
1 Honky Tonkin'
1 Noodlin'
1 Bill Chip Trowin'

# of Dogs: 16 Type: 6 Blue Tick 6 Beagle
5 Black & Tan 8 Bird Dawg ( that makes 16 done it ? )

Cap Emblem: ___ John Deere ___ McCulloch Chain Saws
___ Budweiser ___ Vo-Tech
___ Skoal ___ Coors
___ NAPA 1 Smile if you're Not Wearing Underwear


boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/27/07 09:54 PM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

This is becoming completely out of hand and very child like. BeachBabeRN, you can boo hoo to the moderator all you want to, any of my comments directed towards you have been in response to your insults and jokes directed towards me. And if you think that "rubbing your face in dirt" is counted as a serious threat, then I think your grasping for straws. Don't expect people to sit back and let you say whatever it is that you want on here without some sort of "talk" right back to you. You, Relayer, and googledad really need to get a life for it seems that you spend a great deal of your time on here insulting people and pretending you know the laws. All 3 of you need to grow up.

lilgypsy
(old hand)
09/27/07 10:56 PM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Quote: You, Relayer, and googledad really need to get a life for it seems that you spend a great deal of your time on here insulting people and pretending you know the laws. All 3 of you need to grow up.

<<<< Let me tell you something, Boogieburke. If it weren't for myslef finding this forum, I would be at my end right now. I am still close to my end, but not as bad as I was when I stumbled here. Because of the advice that I've read and gotten directly from the people you are insulting, I have a way bigger understanding of what is going on. Is it always pleasant?? Nope. I don't want it it be. If I were looking for someone to tell me that it was going to be okay, I would phone my mother. People post on this board for advice. I would way rather listen to what people had to say and take it into consideration, than to walk blindly into a court room, only to have my delusions dashed at the flippin' door. Because of these people you're mad at, I have a better understanding of what I'm going up against and that is a good thing. If you don't agree with what they tell you because it isn't all pretty words and glitter and everything you want to hear, why did you post in the first place?? Are you prepared to not listen to what experienced people have said, only to see it happen in court?? If you don't even want to acknowledge what these people say as being a possibility, be ready to crumble emotionally in court if you don't get your way. I know that, because of this forum, the 'battle' with children is long, hard, and far from pretty. I have also learnt from reading past posts, that I will be able to cope no matter what happens next week in my life. I also know that I will be back at this board for my daily dose of reality and to dish out my fair share. It's easy for people in real life to side with those close to them. In reality, most of them don't understand... you don't even understand the court system, or you wouldn't be here. I don't understand it either but because of the help of these people, I'm not AS afraid as I was.

What you said was out of line.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 11:07 PM
For the last time.....

BB, it is completely obvious that reality is NOT what you want. So, may I suggest the following **clearing throat, assuming serious tone**

Head into court, tell the judge all about the fabulous raise your now husband is going to get and that you are taking your girls with you. THEN, see me at the door for a hankie when he tells you **no, I think not** and either prevents the children from moving or gives them outright to their father.

I have NOT insulted you, I've made observations about your attitude, i.e. whiny, self centered, etc. NOWHERE did I swear at you OR threaten you nor did I ever assume the tone of voice that you did.

As lilgypsy says, these boards can be a startling dose of the real world. If that's not what you want, perhaps Santa Claus can help you....it's obvious no one here can as we simply won't say that you can do what you want.

I suggest you grow up **this from the old hag** and start taking part in financing your family when you're unable to move with your children.

And say, in West Virginia, 20K IS apparently a fortune.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/27/07 11:09 PM
Re: For the last time.....

And uh, by the way?

I see ME getting supported by people that I've come to know well -- where's your support system?


Goodmom
(Pooh-Bah)
09/28/07 05:24 AM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

You said:

This is becoming completely out of hand and very child like. BeachBabeRN, you can boo hoo to the moderator all you want to, any of my comments directed towards you have been in response to your insults and jokes directed towards me. And if you think that "rubbing your face in dirt" is counted as a serious threat, then I think your grasping for straws.

My response:

Apparently, you aren't that familiar with the law, either.

Because you threatened to physically assault another human being.

Even a threat can be taken seriously.

It seems to me that the one who is threatening bodily harm to another person simply because they don't like what they hear is the one who needs to grow up.

And take a few anger management classes, as well.

Your kids would benefit greatly from you getting a grip on your temper.


Buckeye
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/28/07 05:41 AM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

You may not like that people didn't agree with you and wanted to prepare you for real life court and what is likely to happen.

If you don't prepare for the things that you are told are likely to happen, then you will go down faster than the Titanic and you kids will be staying with their "real" dad.

This whole thing isn't about you, it is about the kids and what is best for them. And, what is best for them is to stay here with Dad.


Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/28/07 07:29 AM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Quote:

You, Relayer, and googledad really need to get a life for it seems that you spend a great deal of your time on here insulting people and pretending you know the laws. All 3 of you need to grow up.




We aren't pretending Boogie. While laws vary somewhat from state to state, they are all pretty much the same when it comes to custody. It's whatever is in the best interest of the child as determined by the court. And as most people on this board (not just us three) have years or decades of experience in the courts, you might want to listen to what everyone is telling you. Jeez, even some people I consider "unreasonable" in terms of the kids have told you that your scheme is not going to fly. That in itself is something.

The only one here who is pretending is you. Pretending you know what the realities of the situation are. It's quite a nice little fantasy (and/or hallucination).

As I said before, even if your move request is granted, the entire raise and then some would be eaten up in travel cost and other associated expenses related to ensuring the bond between father and child. Are you prepared to fly them 4-5 times a year to see their father (if not more?). Are you prepared for them to be away for 2-3 months at a time? Are you prepared for $100 a month long distance charges? Are you prepared for lost CS because the visitation will be so much greater? (thats another thing..your CS could change for the worse, depending on what state you move to..I mean FAR worse..better check that..what state are you moving to?).

$20K is not much money, and your dreams of paradise are going to be funneled to the airline, phone company and right back into your ex's pocket.

But none of that matters because odd's are if you go before a judge with this cock-a-manie scheme, you are going to lose your kids, especially if they have extended family in West Virginia.

Listen, if they DO have extended family in WV, you can forget, 100% percent, without fail, you wont be going anywhere if you want to keep your kids.


Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/28/07 07:38 AM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Boogieburke-Just as I thought...I check WV and SC child support and there is a difference. In WV, parenting time is NOT taken into account in determining CS amount where in SC it is...

Your CS will go down...

LOLOLOLOLOLO..

I think I just saw $20K flying out the window...


boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/28/07 08:02 AM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Look Relayer,
I've searched the laws, I've read case decisions and appeals, I've gone over this whole stressful situation over and over. I've printed out a ton of articles about relocating with out of state with children, and the worst thing I've done was to post here to only be attacked personally when no one knows anything about me, my ex, the relationship that we both have individually with the children, the extent of the relationship with the extended family, whom the children never see. They have a close relationship with their 3 year old brother, and I'd due to have another son in December. I've talked with several lawyers regarding this case, and I've fought with my current husband about this freakin move on a regular basis. Hes taking the job, I'm left to choose between my spouse and his 2 sons, or my 2 daughters and leave them behind with their father. The job is in SC, by the way and its a 20,000 a year salary increase from what hes making now. Thats a lot of money when you are supporting a family on your own. I stay home with my kids. Whats wrong with that? I'm proud of my children. The emotional attachement that I have with all of my kids is strong. I could never be apart from any of them, and I'm sure they would struggle being away from their mother as well.
The girls have never had a significant seperation from me. Their dad however just comes and goes when he pleases, and has the pleasure of pursing his career goals and whatever else he wants from life when I guess I don't have the right to. I don't have the right to travel with my husband without sacrificing 2 of my children according to everyone. I dont believe thats fair and I certainly don't believe its the best interest of the children. But thats what I'll have an attorney for. I let him/her fight this battle for me,because I have to. Like I said, hubbys taking the job regardless of my situation here. But I told him that if the judge won't allow the move, then I'm not leaving. I would appeal of course, but I won't leave 2 of my kids.
I know a lot of you feel that the best interest of the kids is to have a healthy relationship with their father, but you do not know what hes like. Its to long to explain, and I'm sick of explaining. This whole situation has gotten me stressed so much, that I'm feeling depressed and unable to control the situation. I get on here, and continually to find cruel remarks directed towards me and I just unable to keep it together. My feelings are hurt from complete strangers, and that makes no sense to me at all on why it bothers me so. Maybe because if you knew me, and my children and have known what I've overcome with them, maybe you would be a little more compasionate.
I don't need anger mgt classes. I try to be the best person that I can be, but everyone has their limits to what can be said to them. I blew up at BeachBabeRN, yes I know this, but I can only say that I'm sorry. She had me in tears with her remarks and I was being extremely sensitive and defensive. I would hope that all of you would want the best outcome and I will let you know what happens regardless. If I can move great, if not, then I'll overcome that when it happens. Until then, I am too sorry for hijacking this post and hope that everything works out for her in the end.


Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/28/07 08:19 AM
Re: LOLOLOLOLOL

Look Relayer,
I've searched the laws, I've read case decisions and appeals, I've gone over this whole stressful situation over and over. I've printed out a ton of articles about relocating with out of state with children, and the worst thing I've done was to post here to only be attacked personally when no one knows anything about me, my ex, the relationship that we both have individually with the children, the extent of the relationship with the extended family, whom the children never see.

-->Oh..ok..you have extended family in South Carolina..

They have a close relationship with their 3 year old brother, and I'd due to have another son in December.

--> A relationship with a father is going to trump on with their 1/2 sibilings.


I've talked with several lawyers regarding this case, and I've fought with my current husband about this freakin move on a regular basis.

--> Why the fight? Sounds like even HE doesnt want to move. You are seeing $$$.. Jesus

Hes taking the job, I'm left to choose between my spouse and his 2 sons, or my 2 daughters and leave them behind with their father.

--> Yes, you are.

The job is in SC, by the way and its a 20,000 a year salary increase from what hes making now.

--> I know and $20,000 is peanuts. Especially for a huge move. LOL

Thats a lot of money when you are supporting a family on your own.

--> No it isn't.

I stay home with my kids.

-->WHAT?????????????????? You blew it with that one

Whats wrong with that? I'm proud of my children.

--> The question is, are they proud of you? Doubtful.

The emotional attachement that I have with all of my kids is strong.

-->Duh..and your ex's is any less so? In your mind maybe, but not in theirs or his..

I could never be apart from any of them,

--> Now you will get the chance!

and I'm sure they would struggle being away from their mother as well.

--> who? I thought you were the mother...if you mean "father" no worry..because they wont be...they will be away from their "mother" though..if thats what you want to call yourself

The girls have never had a significant seperation from me.

--> There is a first time for everything

Their dad however just comes and goes when he pleases,

--> As oppossed to ypu having him chained up in the dungeon?


and has the pleasure of pursing his career goals and whatever else he wants from life when I guess I don't have the right to.

--> YOU stay at home! You dont have any career goals..you are slipping further here boogie..your arguement keeps getting weaker...


I don't have the right to travel with my husband without sacrificing 2 of my children according to everyone.

--> Are you finally starting to realize that?

I dont believe thats fair and I certainly don't believe its the best interest of the children.

--> $20K as oppsed to a relationship with their father? You are willing to sell your kids relationship with the father for $20K? What would you sell for $30K? (Once we past $30K, I DONT want to know what you would sell..LOL)

But thats what I'll have an attorney for. I let him/her fight this battle for me,because I have to.

---> There goes that $20K again.

Like I said, hubbys taking the job regardless of my situation here. But I told him that if the judge won't allow the move, then I'm not leaving.

--> Renew the lease or whatever..because you are staying

I would appeal of course, but I won't leave 2 of my kids.
I know a lot of you feel that the best interest of the kids is to have a healthy relationship with their father, but you do not know what hes like.

--> A regular Charles Manson I am sure..at least to you

Its to long to explain, and I'm sick of explaining. This whole situation has gotten me stressed so much, that I'm feeling depressed and unable to control the situation.

--> You cant control it because you fail to understand the realities.

I get on here, and continually to find cruel remarks directed towards me and I just unable to keep it together.

--> You are boo-hoo'ing about cruel remarks made on an internet forum but the CRUEL thing you are attempting to do in real life makes no difference. Give me a phucking break.

My feelings are hurt from complete strangers, and that makes no sense to me at all on why it bothers me so. Maybe because if you knew me, and my children and have known what I've overcome with them, maybe you would be a little more compasionate.
I don't need anger mgt classes. I try to be the best person that I can be, but everyone has their limits to what can be said to them. I blew up at BeachBabeRN, yes I know this, but I can only say that I'm sorry. She had me in tears with her remarks and I was being extremely sensitive and defensive. I would hope that all of you would want the best outcome and I will let you know what happens regardless. If I can move great, if not, then I'll overcome that when it happens. Until then, I am too sorry for hijacking this post and hope that everything works out for her in the end.




--> Ok..now, for the 28,123 time..no one is being "cruel" to you. You are continually failing to see the reality as told by people with FAR more experience in this stuff than you. You will spend $$ on an attorney, attempting to move to a state with less CS, for a paltry sum of money, away from family and friends but somehow you are the victim.

The only ones in this scenario who are victims are your kids, unortunately.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/28/07 09:24 AM
Okay now, this is enough......

Little miss, I'm using a double screen to answer your post because you feel as if you've been the injured one here.

First of all, you are absolutely correct that none of us know the entire ins and outs of your situation. However, the only reason that is is because you didn't POST them. We can only answer based on the information given.

In an earlier post, you stated you moved four hours away to be near extended family, now you state they don't see that family. Which is it and how do you expect us to know the difference?

You state that your husband is taking the job no matter what -- isn't he now doing the same thing? Making money far more important than your relationship with him and his sons? That's not right, missy, in any sense of the word. I can assure you, that if that paltry amount of money was worth more to my husband than our marraige, he'd be heading there with a signed separation agreement in his hand and we'd be on the road to divorce. A marriage isn't supposed to have a price tag.

You have the right to pursue any career goal you choose to and perhaps you SHOULD choose to, then you wouldn't be competely dependent on anyone to provide your living and be at their mercy, for that's what you are. I didn't go to nursing school until my youngest child started schhol. Was it difficult? Oh, HELL yes! Was it worth it? Well, let's see -- I bought my house without anyone's help and have paid for it myself and continue to do so. I pay my bills, my kids dress in Old Navy and Billabong, I dress in Old Navy and Roxy. We have food on the table for every meal. We go on family vacations twice a summer. Christmases and birthdays are pretty darn good in this house. I've bought MYSELF over 10K in jewelry because I WANTED to and I COULD. Then I got married last November. My husband pays my car payment, my gym membership and our medical insurance **for MY kids also** He then puts the largest portion of his check away for OUR retirement. Works out pretty even. He also owns a house that is currently rented.

No one has been deliberately cruel to you, BB. You simply wanted folks to validate what you said and when you post here, that sometimes happens but more often doesn't. You sound very young and are definitely inexperienced in this arena. If you stay in WV and your hubby leaves for 20k? There's soemthing WRONG there. Have you no skills? Could you not make up that 20K a year by working? Kids don't always have to be in daycare for two parents to work -- there are many many jobs that use alternate shifts -- I work three twelve hour shifts per week, Friday/Saturday/Sunday. I am an RN. My shift differential is only slightly less than that 20K your husband will make by moving. Then there's my salary. Do I LIKE working all weekends? Heck no I don't! But my husband works 2-10 and I get to be HOME with my children for most of the week -- his days off change and he's there for them. Why wouldn't that work for you?

You owe me no apology, I assure you, I lost no sleep over what you said but it WAS inappropriate and I don't appreciate being threatened in any way, shape or form. I also don't appreciate your funny little **joke** although my husband laughed his head off when I repeated it to him.

NO ONE has been unnecessarily cruel, we've just told you what is likely to happen, based on our experience, especially Relayer. His story is HORRIFIC and he just keeps working for his kids the best he can. Instead of being defensive, try LISTENING to what people are saying. If ANY lawyer is telling you that you have more than a 1 or 2 percent chance of moving, they're LYING.

You ask why your ex is free to do as he chooses and pursue any goal he chooses to -- it's because he does NOT have custody of your childre, YOU do. It's only limiting if you ALLOW it to be. You can do anything you want to do, but you have to take care of your children FIRST.

As I said to the OP, think creatively. What can you do to help your family's finances? Can YOU work an alternative shift so that the children don't have to be with a sitter or in daycare?

And my situation isn't a whole lot different from yours -- I want to leave the area I live in and so does my husband. We HATE the city we live in. BUT, his son, 50 miles away comes FIRST. We won't move until after he graduates from high school. Period. No discussion. If I wanted a divorce, I could leave tomorrow. My husband and his CHILD are more important to me.

There are lots of alternatives to this situation, miss. If YOUR husband isn't willing to consider them, then there's a bigger problem here.

I wish you luck and would be interested in knowing the outcome of your plight -- but sadly, I think that it'll be exactly what I and other posters have stated -- you MAY get permission to move with your children but that magnificent 20K will be eaten up in airline tickets, decreased child support, long distance charges and other assorted payouts so that your children can maintain their relationship with their father.

20K is just slightly less than $400 per week -- have you looked at flight costs? Gas prices to drive them back? You want your children away from you for an entire summer? Every extended school vacation? Even without a financial incentive, I think the price for this move is far too high.

In addition, if anonymous posters on an internet mesage board can get you to tears? You need to polish up the armor because if WE can do that WHAT is your ex going to be able to drive you to? Need a tougher shell little miss.....or those **big girl panties**

Think about it......I can't see a good side to this.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/28/07 09:27 AM
One other thing.....

Have you considered where your SONS will live if you stay behind with your daughters? Your husband has every right to take those boys with him also......

Just something else you need to consider.


needopinions
(journeyman)
09/28/07 10:52 AM
Re: One other thing.....

Having first hand experience with the effects of moving children away from their father, I can tell you that no amount of money is worth it. Especially $20k. I haven't completely read all of the other posts, but I caught that you stay at home with your children. Get a part time job and make some extra cash if you really are in need of it. Why is it just your husband's job to carry all of the financial responsibility?

When my stepkids moved away two years ago it was the beginning of an awful downward spiral. Forget what it did to my husband, it's landed both kids in counseling with my stepson regressing tremendously in development, a roller coaster ride of emotional problems with my stepdaughter, and behavior issues in both.

What were once two sweet, loving, happy-go-lucky kids have transformed in two years to entirely different people. Odd, it all started the same time their mother moved them away.

I don't care if your husband is going to be making an extra $200k a year -- you can't put a price tag on a child's relationship with, or proximity to, EITHER parent.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/28/07 10:58 AM
Re: One other thing.....

As you can see, multiple people have attempted to inform this poster what you just did and it doesn't seem to matter to her.

I can see that to some, 20K extra a year would seem like a fortune but in this case, with all the extra expenses involved, it would get eaten up very rapidly.

She has posted earlier on the forum, you might want to read all the posts by **boogieburke**

While I would agree that we were not rude, we were direct which to some is the same thing.

Your question is the same one I asked -- and if the money means that much, then the poster should be willing to do whatever she can to keep her entire family together.

However, she has also stated that her husband IS taking the job no matter what so perhaps he's the one setting the price, who knows?


needopinions
(journeyman)
09/28/07 11:21 AM
Re: One other thing.....

Taking the job no matter what? And that's a man worth following? If my husband EVER told me that I'd tell him to go right ahead and oh, by the way, have a nice life while you're at it.

I read the other posts and I understand more of the situation.

I think the problem lies with the husband making this decision "no matter what". Knowing that she, without employment, would feel that she has no choice but to follow. The simple solution is to stay put, get a job, and attain her "career goals". And release some of this dependency on a husband. One of the WORST things a woman can do, in my opinion is rely on a man -- any man -- for support. It's not 1952 anymore.

And I don't buy that the father is a "Charles Manson", as Relayer put it. Ask the vast majority of ex-wives and they'll tell you awful things about their ex-husbands - myself included. Especially if it helps them argue their case, as it does in this situation.

There will always be bigger, better opportunities somewhere else. But your ability to pursue those opportunities decreases greatly when kids are involved, and even moreso when a divorce comes into play.

I have NO sympathy for women who cry helpless as they sit at home while their husband slumps off to work. I don't disagree that being at home with mom is great for children, but if it's not great for the overall situation a sacrifice has to be made. We all do it. I had my son in my senior yeaer of college but I managed to finish (still a year early), work full time as a publicist WHILE completing my MBA...all the while as a single parent. So I have literally no patience for a woman who says they simply can't swing it when they have a husband and/or other resources to help. I struggled for years, but knew I had to do it for my son and along the way I've managed work myself into a very successful career. I don't technically "need" to work, my husband's income is more than enough to support us all but I do work not only because I like my job, but because I don't think I have the right not to.

In this case, her mind is made up -- she's going she just needs to figure out the best way to do it -- and is looking for justification/approval.


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/28/07 04:08 PM
Re: One other thing.....

The discussion would have been completely different had she said earlier that he's going, whether she goes or not -- I almost think that's a bigger issue than moving the kids -- something is drastically wrong in that household.

In any event, although I wasn't in my final year of college when I had my first child, I completed my education as fast as I could, after my youngest was in school. My views on SAH moms are similar to yours.

However, with that said, I also don't know what it's like to completely depend on a man, I've always worked. Now that she has inadvertenty let slip the reason for her extreme views, I also better understand but I have minimal sympathy.

It sounds as if she is a young helpless **in her mind anyway** girl who is horrified to see her perfect world shattered and afraid of losing her husband for the mere price of 20K -- that's not enough to give up ANYTHING or ANYONE. However, her marriage now has a price on it. And it's a low one.

My last question though still stands -- if her hubby goes and takes the job, what about her children with HIM? Will he want them to go with him? Or is she going to fight THEM moving also?


boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/28/07 11:23 PM
Re: One other thing.....

First of all one of my 4 children is unborn as of now, and my youngest is 3 and a three year old can't make that decision. Second, if a court denies my request and my husband does not support me in my decision on remaining here to be with my children and can't suck it up and move back and continue on, then he didn't value our marriage to begin with and would come across to be more selfish than what most of you already believe. I have no problems jumping back into a career to support my kids. Me being a SAHM was a joint decison between me and my husband. But if circumstances were to change, then I would do whatever I had to do to remain with my children. Even though most of you disagree with me wanting to relocate with my children, they are the most important things to me. Money is only part of it. I wouldn't choose money over my kids and have already said, if they can't move, I don't move period. How this topic got turned into a huge battle is beyond me. I'm not a young, helpless girl. I've traveled the world and have many life experiences and know how to be independent. But there are some life altering changes coming my way no matter what and I have to make the best decision for myself and family. Its to bad that people can't step into my shoes for just a minute and actually realize how hard all of this actually is. I'm in the middle, on the right is 2 daughters and an ex, and on the left is 2 sons and a husband. Which way do you go? I love my husband and all of my children and have zero respect for my ex, due to personal reasons obviously, so this sucks. But I'm sure it won't be the last hard decison that I have to make in my life. Whatever happens in the end, happens and I'll make the best of it no matter what.

boogieburke
(journeyman)
09/28/07 11:51 PM
Re: One other thing.....

I also wanted to say, that I'm proud of who I am and the acomplishments that I have made in my life. My oldest daughter has a progressive illness and my determenation to not except her prognosis has paid off. They told me she would need a lung transplant and I couldn't accept that, just like I have a hard time accepting what a lot of you are saying to me. I fought to take her to the best medical facility in the world to have them treat her, even though the hospital felt that she should have gone to a lung transplant specialty hospital. I took her to NY, and they saved her life. Shes doing so wonderful today. And I'm grateful. To some, my stubborness or inability to take no for an answer may come across juvenile, but to me its a strengh. I have a will to not back down from things easily. I am super sensitive however, and words can easily hurt me, but thats just my nature. I have a tough shell but a soft heart. BeachBabe, that is great that you are able to provide for your family so well. That could have been me, it could be me now but at this present time I choose to stay home and do the mom thing and I have no regrets. I could have made some smarter choices in life, but theres no reason to fret on that now. I will let you know the outcome. I certainly don't find it fair to have drug this out for so long without giving the ending. And you may have not like the nurse joke, but I'm so sick of the WV jokes already. Every where I go in this world I have to hear the WV jokes and its just not funny any more. Yeah, my husband is my cousin, I'll miss the trailer court, so on and so on.....

Buckeye
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/29/07 04:02 AM
Re: One other thing.....

boogie, while being stubborn and not willing to take no for an answer may be good in some aspects of your life, believe me, in court, that will be seen as you are unwilling to work with your ex. And, when the court sees and feels you are unwilling to work with your ex, guess what they do? You lose the kids. I don't think this is what you want.

So, your best bet is to try to work out some kind of compromise as to what you would be willing to do. And, remember that this compromise has to be fair - if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel about the compromise?


Goodmom
(Pooh-Bah)
09/29/07 06:36 AM
Re: One other thing.....

Quote:

First of all one of my 4 children is unborn as of now, and my youngest is 3 and a three year old can't make that decision. Second, if a court denies my request and my husband does not support me in my decision on remaining here to be with my children and can't suck it up and move back and continue on, then he didn't value our marriage to begin with and would come across to be more selfish than what most of you already believe.

My response:

In my opinion, you need to choose your kids over your extremely selfish husband. I would file for divorce, custody, child support, and spousal support. And ask that he has to come to you for visits when your baby is born. Long-distance parenting simply isn't good for infants. Maybe if your husband gets a dose of the reality of being a long-distance parent, he may not be so willing to move a father's children so far away from him.

You said:


I have no problems jumping back into a career to support my kids. Me being a SAHM was a joint decison between me and my husband. But if circumstances were to change, then I would do whatever I had to do to remain with my children. Even though most of you disagree with me wanting to relocate with my children, they are the most important things to me. Money is only part of it. I wouldn't choose money over my kids and have already said,

My response:

But you are choosing their selfish stepfather over them. And that's just as bad. Let your husband become the long-distance parent if that is what he wants.

You said:

I love my husband and all of my children and have zero respect for my ex, due to personal reasons obviously, so this sucks.

My response:

Your ex-husband moved to where his children were so that he wouldn't be a long-distance parent.

Your husband moved away. And wants to take your ex's children with him. Your husband didn't choose his family over money. He chose money over family.

And that is something that deserves no respect.

At least your ex chose his kids over whatever job he had before he moved to be closer to his children.

And that is something that deserves respect.

BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/29/07 04:41 PM
Re: One other thing.....

>>>First of all one of my 4 children is unborn as of now, and my youngest is 3 and a three year old can't make that decision.<<<
There isn't a state in the union that outright permits children to CHOOSE where they live, prior to the age of 18.

>>>But if circumstances were to change, then I would do whatever I had to do to remain with my children<<<
Unfortunately your circumstances HAVE changed. Your husband, based on YOUR postings, is taking this job regardless of whether you can be there with him or not.

>>>I've traveled the world and have many life experiences and know how to be independent<<<
If this is a true statement, then WHY on earth don't you find that independence again? If your husband is absolutely willing to move for 20K, WHY can't YOU go to work and make the money that he will be earning?

Boogie, your story makes minimal sense. I surely understand doing the stay at home mom thing, I did it for the first almost four years of having my children. However, when I decided to divorce my husband, THEY became my absolute number 1 priority. I do what's best for THEM.

I am concerned that your hubby says he's taking the job and transfer, regardless of whether you're staying in WV or going with him. Could it be possible that HE'S getting tired of being the only breadwinner in the house? No matter how you slice it, he's assuming your part of your daughters' expenses every month, since you're not working. I'm assuming he's going to finance the lawyer you'll need to fight a losing battle to keep your children with you?

I'm glad that you don't give up easily but sometimes, there's more than just one point of view to consider. Your ex wants to maintain his relationship with his daughter, you want all your children together, your husband wants the money and you're backed into a corner, being forced to make a choice that shouldn't have to be made.

The only way that one isn't backed into a corner is to be willing to step up and say **yep, I'll work after the baby's born, I'll make up the difference, I don't want to lose my marriage OR any of my children.**

Here's something I think you haven't considered -- your hubby moves to SC to pursue his career and the extra money. You stay in WV. Will your now hubby want to take HIS children with him? Is he going to wage the same battle with YOU that you are attempting to wage with your ex?

Women are no longer the default parent in a divorce, thank goodness. Fathers are equally able to raise and provide for their children with the mother having visitation.

Your hubby is a very selfish man OR a very burdened man -- I'm not sure which. BUT, if you were willing to go back to work six weeks after the baby is born, would he remain in WV? Or would he go anyway? If the answer is that yes, he'd go without you, even with you pitching in to help support your household, then I suggest you look deeper into this for YOU. If the money isn't the issue, then your hubby shouldn't care where it comes from as long as it's coming in. Of course, that wouldn't support you being a SAHM.

By attempting to take your children with you, you're being completely selfish as far as your ex is concerned. Your husband moving no matter what is being selfish also but he's making a choice -- it may not be a good one.

Are you prepared to be divorced AGAIN? Will you want your hubby to continue to support your entire household if he goes to SC? The answer to that is that you'd HAVE to go to work, regardless of your desires to be home for your kids.

My children were 8 months old and not quite 4 when I separated from their dad. My oldest is now a senior in HS, my younger is a freshman -- my ex refused to continue to be MY sole support, which is AS IT SHOULD BE. I'm their mother -- I SHOULD contribute financially to my children.

I would suggest the **come to Jesus** talk with your hubby -- ask him if he'd stay in WV if you went back to work to make up the raise he won't get by not taking the transfer. If the money is TRULY the issue, then he should be okay with staying and having you both work to support your household. If there is a marital issue that goes deeper, then I think it's only fair that he tells you about it, honestly. Only then can you work some things out to everyone's satisfaction, although no one will be completely happy with all the facets of the decision. It's called compromise.

And one other thing -- if you refuse to move with your husband to keep your daughters, aren't you telling HIM that your relationship has minimal value? That you'd choose your daughters over him **which is as it should be** Why then shouldn't he choose the job and the money over you?


Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/29/07 05:00 PM
Re: One other thing.....

Anyone who would take a job regardless if their wife and kids went has already checked out of the marriage.

Explains why he is moving for only $20K


BeachBabeRN
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
09/29/07 06:35 PM
Re: One other thing.....

Sad but it appears to be true -- I can't imagine what she must feel like, bsically between a rock and a couple of hard places.


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