| sadad |
| (member) |
| 01/03/10 09:42 AM |
temp orders
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I am in the middle of a heated divorce and custody battle...
here are the cliff notes...
married 13 yrs (Texas)
2 kids 12 and 10
I caught her with another man
I wanted to go to counseling
she refused
I went to stay with my parents for a few weeks to "work on my marriage"
Kept catching her with him
I filed a fault divorce
got nowhere with first lawyer
hired new one
social study
in my favor - kids should live with me, I am decision maker,extended time with mom
kids sign affidavit to live with me
mediation gets nowhere
i have kids in therapy and they do not feel safe with mom
NO court date
No temp orders
We are exchanging the kids week to week
Can I get temp custody due to the fact that they do not feel safe with mom?
Therapist willing to help!
| Redlegg |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/03/10 09:52 AM |
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Re: temp orders
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Can I get temp custody due to the fact that they do not feel safe with mom?
My best guess would be maybe, maybe not, because how realistic is the judgement of a child. what happens when they decide they don't want to go to school, or church, or even eat their vegetables. It is not to say they are, or are not safe with mom, but the reality is that we cannot trust the judgement of children on things that are convenient for us, or are inline with our wants.
You need to use the system, file for temp custody, stating everything you think is going on. Chances are her affair will not come into it custody wise. You are facing circumstances that you do not like, and you cannot control. It is a trerrible position to be in, but that is what it will be. Use the system, leave the emotion out of it, find a great lawyer and document everything you see, and move forward. The pace will not be to your liking, but you have to work within the system.
| sadad |
| (member) |
| 01/03/10 12:04 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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ok let me add some info...
I filed for divorce about 6 months ago so yes the pace is not to my liking!
We had a social study done which came back in my favor.
Kids have signed afidavits stating that they want to live with me!
I have both kids seeing a therapist that uses play therapy. My son has expressed safety concerns with figures that he placed during a session in a sand box.
He was asked to place figures on one side of his life before this "situation". He placed the four of us at a table, us hunting, baseball, football, etc. On the other side he placed spiders, snakes, a dragon and a figure of him against the wall after his mom threw him against it.
Her temper is out of control at times because she cannot control everything!!!
Look, she came from money and is very much use to having what she wants when she wants and her way!
This is not about me winning or beating her!! It is 100% about my kids!!!!
Does it hurt ME what she has done? HECK yes, but I am man enough to take it and move on. However, my kids are in the middle and my heart tears into a million pieces when I have to take them back to her when they do not want to go! Is that greed on my part? Prob a little, but once again there is a lot of arguing and anger when they are there!
My son oulls a dresser infront of his door when he sleeps! Sometimes he sleeps with his football helmet on! He has asked me how to get out his window! All because he fears her!!
My daughter just trys to stay out of the way and just blend in!
The really sad part is that in years past my son was a mommas boy to the fullest and now he doesnt want to have much to do with her! Some men would be happy with that and use it to its fullest but it hurts me deeply!!! Yes, it would be a victory for me but a horrible loss for them!!! My kids need a mother and I know that! Right now she is not the mother that she used to be!! She will go an entire week and not even speak to them!
I know I have to work within the system! I know that "life" goes on! How do I protect my children RIGHT NOW???
I really sense the need to get them away from her for now!!
PLEASE any help??
I do have a great lawyer...just need some input from others!!!
| sadad |
| (member) |
| 01/03/10 12:06 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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the anger issues are many!! Not just one incident! It keeps happening!
| Redlegg |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/03/10 02:08 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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Then call Child protective services now, and tell them your children have an emergency, and are in immediate danger. Get those children into their care as fast as possible, and that way they will be safe.
| sadad |
| (member) |
| 01/03/10 02:20 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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I asked the therapist, that has experience with them, and she says that they would probably do little if anything.
I guess because more is mental abuse!
My question is that since we do not have any temporary orders, can I file something due to the conditions to get temp custody of my kids?
Keep in mind that they want to live with me and with that said, if I do get temp custody, wouldn't that help me get full custody in the end?
| Redlegg |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/03/10 02:25 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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Of course you can file, file it tomorrow. Present all the reasons. I am not sure if you it will help you later, because I am sure the situation will be looked at in depth to make a determination for the best interests of the children, regardless of what the children want. They can't possibly make an informed decision. I am sure they will be listened to. But you should probably ask your lawyer.
| sadad |
| (member) |
| 01/03/10 02:29 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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my concern is that my ex has stated to me that she is filing something on the 7th and I assume it is going to ba a TRO that might include her having temp custody.
| sadad |
| (member) |
| 01/03/10 02:31 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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what difference does it make if it is looked at in depth like you said?
| Redlegg |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/03/10 02:50 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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The difference is your perception may not be reality. You have been constantly saying the kids are in danger, proven by their therapist. Then you say that the same therapist who says they are danger doesn't think it is enough to get CPS involved, so how much danger can there be ? There are a lot of differences, and not everything you think is a danger is really a danger. A neutral party may just see it as parenting differences. I really do not think that any judge is going to just say, here, take permanent custody based on what you say. Go tomorrow, and file for temp custody, with all your facts, your therapist also sayiing they are in danger. Unless you go physically take the children, or call CPS, what else can you do? So file tomorrow.
| sadad |
| (member) |
| 01/03/10 03:02 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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danger that something is going to boil over and then it will be too late. Proactive not reactive!
How many parents say that their kids will never commit suicide or do drugs etc etc etc??
I bet the ones that did wished they would have done things differently!! Dont you?
look, If I had a month of Sundays I could type maybe 1/2 the story here. I would assume that since you are posting to "help" people you might understand that.
Parenting differences?
My son pulls a dresser infront of his door when he sleeps! Sometimes he sleeps with his football helmet on! He has asked me how to get out his window! All because he fears her!!
| Redlegg |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/03/10 04:29 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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Then be proactive and call CPS, or go get your kids. Even if CPS does nothing, at least it is on record.
| mommyof9 |
| (old hand) |
| 01/03/10 05:17 PM |
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Re: temp orders
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No kidding. If your kids are actually SCARED of her then DO something about it. A social worker WILL talk to your kids and everything WILL be on record. Not that I'm a fan of CPS, but in this case even I would call.
| finz |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/04/10 04:26 AM |
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Re: temp orders
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Waiting to see what she is filing for is a big mistake.
Being in this process for 6+ months without any temp orders regarding custody is a big mistake.
Call the lawyer this am and tell him to get his fanny over to the courthouse to file today or do it yourself.