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Char9
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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04/14/07 01:03 PM
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Quitting my job
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I finally have taken H's advice and will be turning in my resignation Monday. This job has affected my attitude, my marriage, my whole personality. I thought I could work for a female, but I can't. Women are like elephants, they NEVER forget! LOL. And I'm a woman. The stress is too much, the workload is getting out of hand and I have made some mistakes which were stupid. As an admin, I'm not supposed to panic, or make stupid mistakes. So I will take some time and get my act together. It doesn't help that I am pre-menopausal, and even though H is understanding; there is only so much he can take before he says it's time to go. My marriage is more important than a job.
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Re: Quitting my job
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Good for you! My wife made that same decision four years ago and retired early.
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yregna
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(veteran)
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04/17/07 01:11 PM
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Re: Quitting my job
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Women always have the option of quitting their job 'cause there is always a man paying the bills. Enjoy your time off, deadbeat golddigger...
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Re: Quitting my job
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Yregna - crawl back into the mudhole you just bubbled out of. What a pathetic individual you are - so bitter.
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Re: Quitting my job
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While I agree that Yregna is bitter and should tone it down a bit, there is a social stigma against men not working.
My STBX was a Stay At Home Housewife. No kids. Did not clean. Cooked when she felt like it. Mostly spent all day playing video games, paper crafts and SCRAPBOOKING. If I asked her to go do something for me during the day, it was if I was asking her to cut her arm off. I'm talking, things like "Hey, can you drive to the bike dealer and pick up my new tire? I won't be able to get there before they close"
College educated, no kids. Did not work. No one viewed it as a "problem". I always got berated because we could not afford the things our DINK friends had..
If the situation was reverse, I would be called a no-good bum. And you people know it.
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Renee
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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04/18/07 09:44 PM
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Re: Quitting my job
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"College educated, no kids. Did not work. No one viewed it as a "problem". "
All I have to say is you were hanging around the wrong people if no one viewed her attitude as a problem. Women like that tick me off. There is another double standard out there besides the unemployed man being considered a bum though....
...if a woman behaves like your wife, men get ticked off because she doesn't contribute to the marriage and looks to her H to take care of her.
On the other hand, if the wife has a career, works hard and is successful, and makes as much or more than her husband, she's berated as too independent, too forward thinking, and for not 'needing' her H enough.
....tsk tsk....so much drama just to be able to get laid on a regular basis.
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yregna
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(veteran)
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04/18/07 11:02 PM
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Re: Quitting my job
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Quote " ....tsk tsk....so much drama just to be able to get laid on a regular basis "
I presume you are saying that being married means you get laid on a regular basis ? Was that vow in there somewhere ?
( Pause for howls of laughter.. )
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Re: Quitting my job
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My husband and I are doing it very regularly (most days at least 2 times). Maybe you weren't such a great lover? The howls of laughter are probably coming from your ex wife who is now getting it from someone better than you.
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Re: Quitting my job
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And most of us have men willing to pay the bills because we take very good care of them. As to why that is any of your business, I am not sure. But, I can assure you , my husband doesnt want me to get a job. He would prefer to take care of me. In all ways. Too bad for you that you have such an ignorant attitude.
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Re: Quitting my job
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There is no doubt there and I also call my friend the same thing who is a SAHM but doesnt clean house, wash clothes, take care of the kids, anything pretty much. Heck, her husband has to beg to get laid. So, for those of us who earn our keep with our husbands in ALL ways, it is offensive for yregna to keep on the way he does. I supported my ex for a few years, quit when he decided he was gonna put the kids in daycare so he could go to "school", which he never did. Quit supporting him, that is, not my job.
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Re: Quitting my job
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That made me laugh. And the sad thing is, you are probably right, Debbie.
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Re: Quitting my job
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Tee hee - I know. All I know is that my husband is one VERY happy man, kwim? I keep him happy and he's more than thrilled to keep me happy. If more men were being taken care of like him there would be no wars (I'm thoroughly convinced of this). I'm sure someone like vregna will never get it (pun sort of intended, lol).
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Re: Quitting my job
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Quote:
And most of us have men willing to pay the bills because we take very good care of them. As to why that is any of your business, I am not sure. But, I can assure you , my husband doesnt want me to get a job. He would prefer to take care of me. In all ways. Too bad for you that you have such an ignorant attitude.
It depends on the relationship and the amount/age of kids involved. At this point with my SD being almost 17 there's absolutely no reason why my wife shouldn't be working FT, nor I (barring unforseen layoffs). At this point there's no way I'd be willing to be the sole wage earner. Even when I left my old career and worked from home for 3 years, I did all the housework plus earned a living that brought in @ 80% of what my prior job had done and still covered my share of the bills coming into the household. I would expect that my wife would view things the same..that at this point in our lives each of us has an equal responsibility to earn to the best of our abilities and not place undue pressure on the other to disproportionately support the household. I've never seen it as my duty to be the breadwinner, I've seen it that we both need to support the household, financially and doing the work related to the house and raising of SD.
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Redlegg
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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04/20/07 06:31 AM
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Re: Quitting my job
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Someone definitely hurt you in the past, but no one here should have to pay the price.
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Re: Quitting my job
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See, I agree with you and until I got with him, I did work steadily, full-time. I had from the time I turned 16 til I got with him at 23 or 24. I have always supported myself and my kids. There are 3 of my kids involved and they are ages 7, 9 and 10. I told him recently that since they were all in school full-time and didnt need me nearly as much, I was thinking about going back to work. He said he would prefer me not to, but if I chose to, he would support my decision. But, he also knows that, God forbid, we ever split up, he is a free man. All I want out of it is my kids' pets, my horse, and my Rodeo that he bought me for my birthday. And he also knows that should that happen before the Rodeo is paid off, I will assume the note. I wont be wcreaming SS, but only because I am a relatively self-sufficient, independent person. But, this is not always the case. There is always a different situation to analyze before you pass judgement.
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Re: Quitting my job
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LOL. Exactly. I mean, there are those who dont want to support their spouse solely and I understand that. But, when the man wants to do it, why b!tch about it later? Or assume every situation is the same. My mom thoroughly agrees with you on the no wars thing. I still think the are men who have alot of aggression to get out, like yregna.
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Re: Quitting my job
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Quote:
....tsk tsk....so much drama just to be able to get laid on a regular basis.
Would regular basis be defined as once a month if I was lucky, and once every 3-4 months normally?
She was a total nympho prior to the wedding. After about a month of marraiage, I started getting the "sex is only for babies" speech. So if it was not that 3-4 days a month a woman is ovulating.. Fugheaddaboutit
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Renee
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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04/20/07 10:32 PM
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Re: Quitting my job
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"She was a total nympho prior to the wedding. After about a month of marraiage, I started getting the "sex is only for babies" speech. So if it was not that 3-4 days a month a woman is ovulating.. Fugheaddaboutit "
Maybe it was the wedding cake?? I've heard that eating that can kill anyone's sex life.... 
Actually, I never gave my XH the "babies only" speech. I figured it wasn't worth the argument, so I might as well go ahead and get those 4 minutes over with.
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NancyD
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(Pooh-Bah)
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04/21/07 07:45 AM
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Re: Quitting my job
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Char, all I can say is that I quit two jobs to please my then-husband. One was one of the best careers positions I ever had (doing design work for a BIG record company).
He NEVER acknowledged what I gave up for him.
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Re: Quitting my job
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LOL, that was bad. 4 minutes? I thought my ex was bad.
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Char9
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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04/22/07 06:08 PM
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Re: Quitting my job
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Considering I pay 50% of all household bills regardless of whether or not I work, I think I am quite able to quit work for a while. LOLOL.
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Char9
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(Carpal \'Tunnel)
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04/22/07 06:15 PM
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This isn't about pleasing him,
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it's about keeping my sanity and self esteem. Or at least getting it back. I have become so meek and non-confrontational since mum died, I always assume 100% blame for what happens at work. I don't stand up for myself and I'm afraid of saying something wrong. Sound normal? Nope. I had to quit to save myself and my marriage. He is all I have left, besides my dogs. LOL.
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