cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:26 PM
for those no longer in love with their ex...

"That is an excellent point. At times when I have a client who overly reacts to something in a case I half jokingly suggest that the client will reconcile... after all there is no sense in having such strong feelings about what another person thinks unless you are going to stay in a relationship with them! Interesting just how many become deathly quiet after hearing the suggestion. " -from an attorney

1004SRS
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:29 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

So, in your posts you appear to overreact to everything involving the BM or SS. What does that mean?

JennyLynn
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:30 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

I don't believe you have to still be IN LOVE with your ex to still give a hoot what he/she thinks. There can be plenty of emotion involved without the blame being put on "being in love" with that person still.

You marry someone, you share a child with that person, you spend part of your life and your heart and soul with that person. Whether or not the majority be good or bad times...you still at one point shared yourself with your exspouse. It doesn't take a simple divorce to end all feelings of emotion, and to still have it doesn't mean you're still in love. It just means you're still healing. (spoken from my own perspective anyway)


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:31 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

are you suggesting that your husband is still in love with his ex???? After all, the two of you react to EVERYTHING she does

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:31 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

i'm secretly in love with a fat chick 1004SRS! you pegged it.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:32 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

absolutely katie! he should have married her instead of me...i'm sure he'd have been much better off and happier!

PrincessJ
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:34 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

And?

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:35 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

just creating healthy debate and discussion. i know that concept is too foreign for you julie, so you don't need to respond if it's that difficult for you, dear.

1004SRS
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:35 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

I am a mama bear to everything that involves my kids.

I know I was over reacting towards my x's behaviors towards the kids. He still doesn't see the kids by his choice. It still bothers me a little. But, I am confident that I am doing a fabulous job of raising them by myself.

I came to the realization that I can't control his behaviors, but I can control my reactions to them.

So, I guess I only overreact when I know that my kids are sad because Dad stood them up again or didn't call them back or made them cry for whatever reason.


JennyLynn
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:36 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

<<I came to the realization that I can't control his behaviors, but I can control my reactions to them. >>

Bingo!

And I agree...when it becomes something to do with your CHILD...it's a lot easier for emotions to be involved when it's your children you're looking out for!


PrincessJ
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:37 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Enjoy your debate. Don't forget, YOU created it. I'll allow the mental midgets to engage.

LOL!


1004SRS
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:37 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Hmmm me thinks you are jealous of your SS's Mom or you wouldn't react to every little thing that happens.

You'd get a better response from EVERYONE if you'd quit saying crap like that, btw. It is offensive.


JennyLynn
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:37 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

You callin' me a mental midget?! You PUNK! ;)

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:37 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

see 1004...it is possible to know that someone cares when kids are involved and not just because they really care for their ex. on the other hand, i think the quote is fitting for "some" on this board (not saying you here, as in not generalizing, as in not saying everyone) to ponder their situation and really think about what motivates their behaviors.

PrincessJ
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:38 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]You callin' me a mental midget?! You PUNK! ;) [/quote]

Nah, you're just slightly dwarfed.

;-)


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:38 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

they already have ROFL - they were first!

preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:40 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Just in general.. and I think this may be similar to what JL said.

I don't have to want to reconcile with my ex to have feelings for him (ie: he's a human, he's the father of our child, we went through alot together). Because of all those things he will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. I will always have love for him. I will probably always have some sense of loss for what was lost.. for what could have been.

Doesn't mean I want to reconcile with him.

I'd be very very sad if I heard my 2nd husband died. I certainly have NO desire to reconcile with him, and can't even say I love him. I respect the time we had and I valued him as a human being and appreciate what I learned from him, and the relationship.

Don't want to reconcile with him.

I don't think having an emotion such as anger, or hurt, or resentment indicates one isn't over their ex or that they're bound to reconcile. Means they're human.. unlike lawyers ;)


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:41 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

you're so right 1004SRS...i wish i was a high school graduate with 3 kids from 3 dads, couldn't support myself on my $30K/year bank teller job and living in another country illegally, can't write the language and up to my eyeballs in debt....oh, let's not forget that then i'd not have the man i wanted because someone else did...yah, you've got me pegged again!

1004SRS
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:42 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

You need to disengage from the BM. Your life would be so much smoother.

katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:44 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

you sound so bitter. Lets not forget that your H has, or will have 2 kiddos from 2 different Mammas. Whats your point? Are you now dissing bank tellers.

MTmom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:45 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

I love all my ex's.. even ds' dad. They just didn't love me the way I needed to be loved. In many respects I will always love ds' dad more than the rest because it was through that love that we created ds.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:45 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

1004 i think you fail to see that i don't have anything to do with her...i ask a question or post something and people like you continue to bring it up and throw stuff in my face that i didn't do and even go so far as to blame me for things that BM did like tell SS i had a DUI....so, i will continue to tell those that can't read they are wrong.

this post really had nothing to do with BM because she is not an ex of my DH.....they were never BF/GF and never married.....but, of course, you, katie and julie always try to make it go back to that.


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:46 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Come on Cindy, he is her ex...ex lover

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:47 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

katie i was responding to 1004 saying i was jealous of BM...and my response is how could i possibly be jealous of that....

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:47 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

katie, they had a few drunken hook ups...hardly a lover.

PrincessJ
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:48 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

they were never BF/GF and never married.....

---->Wow, that almost makes it worse, IMO.

BTW, I didn't even know this so I'm not sure how I "make it go back to that".


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:49 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

yah, it really sucks that they didn't even hardly know one another and a child was born out of it...hindsight is always 20/20.

i'm sure he would have done a few things differently if he knew she was just trying to find someone to "pull her up out of her hole" as she put it


1004SRS
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:50 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

You need to disengage from your Stepson's Mom. Let your H deal with her.

Yes, btw, normally love the person they create a child with. It is normal. My love has changed, but everytime I look at them I can't help but thinking a few good things. Without him, I wouldn't have them.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:51 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

and no i wouldn't want to be a bank teller...i couldn't even survive of $30K per year in college much less now....

PrincessJ
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:52 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Funny. I look at my ex and I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. Good riddance and thank God for the other woman/step mom. I guess I love HER. LOL!

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:53 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

1004 not sure where you get that i am engaged with her...i've spoken to her once in the last gosh, probably 3.5 years since i took her on an all expenses paid vacation with me....that once being when she called me stupid and a b*tch to her child.

i have nothing to do with her at this point...now, i help my DH with his case because i contribute more money to our household than he does, we are equal decision makers and we support one another in almost everything we do.


BB1
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:56 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

To me, coparenting IS a relationship. You don't have to be in love with your ex to have a coparenting relationship, which can be fueled by both positive and negative emotions.

preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:56 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]you sound so bitter. Lets not forget that your H has, or will have 2 kiddos from 2 different Mammas. Whats your point? Are you now dissing bank tellers. [/quote]

------------->>> Isn't it great? I have a feeling the old saying "Ohhhh how the mighty have fallen" will someday be applied to Cincsu... and ohhhh what a spectacular fall it will be.


Runswithscissors
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:58 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

I am not in love with my ex.... I do love him since he is my daughter's father... but I've always cared about what he thinks..... I am that way with most people in my personal life. I think it boils down to me always trying to make my mother happy growing up and I am just wired that way.

1004SRS
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 03:58 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

oooo.....you need to relax. Your poor, poor husband. Personally, if I were you I'd watch my Ps&Qs. You'll end up divorced with a child saying crap about contributing more money to the household.

I'll bet you throw that in his face pretty regularly.


JennyLynn
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 04:00 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

<<I am not in love with my ex.... I do love him since he is my daughter's father... but I've always cared about what he thinks..... I am that way with most people in my personal life. I think it boils down to me always trying to make my mother happy growing up and I am just wired that way. >>

I agree. I most definitely love my XH - not b/c he's worthy of it :), but b/c he's my son's father. I love his mother, n ot b/c she's not a POS but b/c she's my son's grandmother. I don't despise anyone enough that I wouldn't have some type of love for them.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 04:13 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

you're the one with an issue if it is bothersome to someone that a female can make more money. the point is that i'm not a SAHM living off my DH's salary....since my money goes towards the case, our household and his son then we both believe i should be a part of it...afterall i do live in my house, too.

1004SRS
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 04:28 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Good luck with that. Wow. I'll bet you are a blast to live with.

I thought 1966's H was p-whipped. Yours has to be right up there with him.

I was the main bread winner, too, until we had kids. Someone had to be available to take them to doctor's appointments, be a room mother, etc. I preferred not to do the nanny thing and it still kills me to HAVE to send them to daycare everyday.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 04:32 PM
You lack perspective....

Once you become a parent, I think you might change your tune. Right now, you have NO clue the powerful emotions a parent feels. You have NO clue what you would sacrifice for your child.

As for being a SAHP and "living off" DH's salary - when I was married, money was joint. Is that not the case in your marriage?


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 04:34 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

WTF. What is wrong with being a bankteller? It is a job. It puts food on the table and clothes on kids. When you are a parent, you do whatever it takes to pay the bills. Regardless of your academic background.

MTmom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 04:36 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

$30k is above median income in my community.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 04:37 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

This woman you hate left her country and came to the US for a better life. Even doing so illegally, THAT takes a lot of guts.

Being a bankteller is a respectable job. Would you rather she be a hooker or a stripper???


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 04:47 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

no, i'm just saying i don't envy the job of a bank teller...do i have to envy everyone's job?

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:11 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

No, that isn't what you are saying. You are belittling the job. Does this job not pay the bills?

Even when you have a college degree, jobs aren't always easy to come by. Especially ones that might be family friendly.


arvm
(journeyman)
06/24/08 05:11 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Nahh, not in love with either of those 2. I feel pangs every once in awhile about X#1. Just not love pangs, more like a little regret. We were good friends in high school, not anymore.
X#2, I don't think I was ever in love (truly). I got caught up in the romance of it all. The romance didn't last long, reality set in at month 2 then I woke up and realized that I didn't even like the person I was married to. I got out of it pretty fast after that.
And as far as SAHM thing goes, its not for everyone. I'm going to do it. I'm excited, my kids are excited, my SO is excited. So what if someone's SO wants to financially support them. Why even mention it? Are you jealous or something?


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:12 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]This woman you hate left her country and came to the US for a better life. Even doing so illegally, THAT takes a lot of guts.

[/quote]

Gag me...illegal activity is honorable? Zoinks.


Cassie23
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:12 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

I am not in love with my ex.... I do love him since he is my daughter's father... but I've always cared about what he thinks..... I am that way with most people in my personal life. I think it boils down to me always trying to make my mother happy growing up and I am just wired that way.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I think that's the way it should be. But there is a HUGE difference between someone who was in love with their mate, married and had a child. Or even if the child came first and then they married. I could see LOVING your ex then in some way, shape or form.

As for the others that 'hooked up' a few times--- and there was no love- there was just stupidity then the love isn't going to be there. And I would BET money that you will see the difference between the kids that come from relationship #1 and relationship #2 in divorced families.

My DH hooked up with BM a few times, he broke up with her because he realized he was rebounding after a broken engagment and she wasn't what he wanted. 2 months later she said she was pregnant. They married because they were pushed into by his Christian family and her Catholic family. They have NEVER loved one another, I'm not sure they ever even liked one another.

My DH is a very successful, intelligent and mild mannered man. BM is the EXACT opposite. My SD is a mess and I think partly because her parents don't get along, they couldn't give a sh!t about each other and even though DH doesn't show it (although BM does), you can absolutely see there is NO love there and never has been. Ever.


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:14 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

I don't love my ex at all. Vomit.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:20 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

It isn't always easy to come the US legally. While it isn't right that people come here illegally, after dealing with immigration when I was married, I understand why people do what they do and come here illegally.

If this woman came to the US and was dealing drugs, stripping or hooking, I would wonder why she came. But I don't believe she is involved in any of those activities.


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:21 PM
You don't believe what?

You don't even know the woman. Are you for real?

PrincessJ
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:21 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]I don't love my ex at all. Vomit. [/quote]

Agreed.

I love my ex's wife.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:27 PM
Re: You don't believe what?

Sounds like you are judging all illegals.

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:30 PM
Re: You don't believe what?

[quote]Sounds like you are judging all illegals. [/quote]

Sounds like you are nuts.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:32 PM
Re: You don't believe what?

Right back at ya.

KiwiGirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:34 PM
OK Cinsu

Less of the superior "Can't survive on $30K a year" crap. I earn less than that. And I feel you owe those of us here who DO earn less than that an apology. We all can't be condo-dwelling, mega rich, asset wealthy people. Some of us are hard working and lacking a College education for a variety of reasons. Some of us have the same father for all our children. Some don't. Some wear their heart on their sleeve and will do anything for anybody and be the most forgiving of souls. And some here (including you) look down your noses at plebs like us and your SS's mother and gag at the thought we dare produce a child,

Well here is some news for you. Your wonderful husband shagged a drunk woman while drunk himself. Talk about personal responsiblity. Talk about mature and grown up. I don't know ANYONE of my uneducated friends who did what your DH did. Oh hang on, Bjorn Borg got caught in the same trap after a 10 minute bonk in a broom cupboard. He is paying CS forever now.

So your DH has tied not only himself but you to her forever or as long as his son is alive. If there is anyone to blame for this situation, look at the man you married. He got you into this by shagging her. I hope he got his money's worth.

So by belittiling her you belittle people like me. And quite frankly you couldn't even begin to cope on her income. So when your life turns upside down and you have to sell off those assets you will NOT be able to cope in her world. And one day you and your superior attitude may just find yourself there. So she has 3 babies by 3 fathers. Your husband has 2 children by 2 mothers, he is only one step behind here.

No she doesn't win awards brilliance but she has enough to have you jumping everytime she yanks your chain. And if you were a little nicer and understanding i would have some sympathy for you. Today you are so out of luck.

You need to stop it today. Disengage before your soul rots anymore.


youngatheart
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 05:40 PM
Re: OK Cinsu

Thank GOD someone else said it because I just couldn't find the words.

Spring
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 06:00 PM
Re: OK Cinsu

Well, you know Kiwi...character is not defined by income level. I think you just proved that :-)

SCgirl
(enthusiast)
06/24/08 06:35 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote the point is that i'm not a SAHM living off my DH's salary....[/quote]

Are you dissing SAHM's now?


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 06:38 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Yes she is dissing anyone that is not a women with the same higher level of education she has. I did find the post where she says this women (BM)had three different kids by three different men and "Divorced" them all? So, this means that the BM is on her 4th marriage and also divorced Mr. Cincsu...blahhhh

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:06 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

nope, not a problem at all if someone wants to be a SAHM, mine was....people jump all over SMs for their husbands asking them to provide input into their situations. i'm just mentioning here that i agree i should be a part of it since i contribute financially.

if i was a SAHM and my DH was making all the money then i wouldn't think it was as much my place to get involved in the dealings with his son because i wouldn't have a financial stake in it...either way it's hard to say.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:12 PM
Let me see if I understand...

You contribute financially to his sons life so you think that grants you an automatic say in this childs life?

katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:14 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

so you are only involved because you have $$$ at stake? Women learn to knit or cook....you need a hobby. BTW, why do you keep saying that she illegal?????? Do banks that are Federally Insured really hire illegals???? You said she doesn't write the English language, yet she was able to pass the literacy test to work in a bank???? Interesting...

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:16 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

katie wrong again - they (BM and my DH)....never married that was another man that she didn't have a child with.

and kiwi i'm sorry if you took offense to my $30K per year comment - i didn't mean it that way...if you read the whole post you'll see that i'm giving my reasoning to 1004SRS why i am not jealous of BM....her life is not appealing to me.....doesn't make it right or wrong - just that i am not jealous of it.

that was my point. and no, i think there is nothing wrong wtih being a SAHM - i was raised by one...but i am not jealous of the life my mother led either. my opinion of my career is that i've worked too hard to get where i am, and i wouldn't want to stay home after having gone through all that.

doesn't mean it isn't a rewarding career for some, just not for me.

i've a great friend who is a bank teller, but i don't envy her job. i think very highly of people that joint he peace corp and earn nothing or next to nothing...they have great experience traveling the world and helping others....again, i don't envy them.

and actually i am proud of my higher education and that of my husband...more so him than me considering he's working on a 2nd masters when neither of his parents finished middle school or pushed him to. i find his will to survive remarkable. i grew up in the US so i had a lot more given to me than he ever did, but i still worked hard to get where i am.

and not being able to live off $30K per year in college just taught me that i need to work harder to live the style of life i want. that's what i've done - so shoot me for working hard. not everyone wants to work hard and to each his own.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:18 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

no, i contribute to our home financially. i've never not contributed so i don't know if that is the only reason why my husband and i agree that i should take part in helping to raise this child when he is in our home.

but, i don't think as you stated, my husband and i agree that i am SS's "mom away from home" for lack of a better way to put it.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:20 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

i do have several hobbies katie...i make scrap books for the children, crochet blankets for the children, family and friends, have played the piano for 26 years and travel quite frequently. i also own my own business outside of my normal job, serve on my HOA and have friends in the area that i do things with.

i am saying she is illegal because she is illegal...she's even said so herself. she is illegal until her status is adjusted and she has a green card in her hand. go read up on adjustment of status on the DHS website and waivers for those that came here illegally.

and she works at a small bank....i don't know what kind of background checks they do. maybe they don't do them, maybe they don't do good ones or maybe a friend of hers got her in....she lives in a very small town.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:21 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

His mom is still his mom when he is at your home.

After what you have posted here, I can understand why BM has issues with you. You appear to have some serious boundary issues.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:22 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Why does it matter that she's illegal?

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:24 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

as i said greeneyes...for lack of a better word. i am his stepmom and in our house he gets treated like any other child of mine would....

and i guess it really doesn't matter that she's illegal. 1004 said i am jealous of her, and as i've said several times before i am not....and her illegal status in this country is just one of the many reasons i am not jealous of this woman. i wouldn't want to be in any country illegally.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:31 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

I don't think you are jealous of her life. I do think you are mad that she's around and wish that she were not so you could be mom to your DH's son.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:36 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

nope, not really...i just wish she would follow the court order and was more self sufficient - a financial issue. i wish she didn't put my SS in the middle of things.

but i certainly don't wish for him that he didn't have a mother....as much as i dislike her i don't think it would be fair for a child to not have a mom.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:37 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

Why do you care about her finances?

You do your fair share of putting SS in the middle.


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:37 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

"am his stepmom and in our house he gets treated like any other child of mine would.."

Now that is a lie, again....you said just a few days ago that you will only contribute 1/2 the money for his education that you and your H pay for your daughter...true love


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:40 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

i wish she would follow the court order because using an attorney can get expensive - that is the financial issue, paying our attorney when she breaks the order.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:42 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

That's not what you said - you said you wish she was more self sufficent - a financial issue.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:42 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

well, katie, so i guess you are saying i should completely stay out of his life except contribute financially to everything....no, i'm saying that we will contribute to his college (half) because he has a mother that can contribute the other half. our hosehold finances are a pool, so some of that money will be mine.

just because i don't pay for all of his college doesn't mean i don't love him. my daughter only has me and her dad....my step son has me, his dad, his mom and his step dad.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:43 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

...i just wish she would follow the court order and was more self sufficient - a financial issue. is what is said.

both are financial issues...if she was more self sufficient then DH wouldn't be paying as much for everything. nothing i can do to change that, but it would be nice.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:44 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

What happens if mom doesn't have 1/2? Would your DH not kick in the money he would need while his child with you has fully paid tuition?

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:45 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

Your DH pays child support. She has a job. So, they are both contributing to the child. What more should she be doing?

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:46 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Let me guess.. you are an Obama supporter, right?

Why does it matter that she's illegal??? Give me an f'in break.... that is an assinine thing to even say.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:47 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

So why does it matter?

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:48 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

probably not to the detriment of our child....there is no reason BM shouldn't be able to save some money for her chld when she and her husband have 3 rental properties and my husband pays her $300 per week when SS is with her to take care of him, all the travel, all our daycare and half of hers....she has plenty of money to save.

and i don't know what will happen when SS turns 18, but i don't think my DH would have our family suffer because BM mismanaged her finances all these years and didn't save anything.

sure, if we have a bunch of extra money then he probably would help more.

and i don't think i said we'd pay for all of daughters college...i think i said we'd give SS half of whatever we gave to her....my opinion is that even if i can afford to pay for everything for my child that i probably won't - learning to manage money is a good lesson. i worked through college, so can my child.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:49 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

probably the main reason is that it shows her character...is it okay for someone to steal from you just because they "need" food?

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:50 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

I'll say this slow so you can understand it... what she is doing IS AGAINST THE LAW......DO YOU FOLLOW? Do you feel that all lawbreakers should just be let alone to live their life?

Against the law is just that... you shouldn't get a break because you got knocked up and came across the fricken border to drop the anchor kid...


M5M5
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:51 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Isn't greeneyes from a different country? So...maybe that's why she doesn't get it.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:51 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Lisa you're the bomb! or, as katie says, "your" the bomb

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:52 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

Uh, so your DH's child should suffer? You need to realize, your SS existed before your child. He has the same responsibility to SS that he does to your child. If you don't want your money going to SS, that is one thing but your DH has equal responsibility to his son and his daughter.

Is your SS neglected, financially, by his mother? Does he go without food or clothing?


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:52 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

I don't give a rat's @ss where she's from.. people with that kind of mentality are the reason this country is in the state it is in!

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:52 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

I'm American. My ex is not. I have experience dealing with immigration. It isn't what many Americans think it is.

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:54 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

[quote]Why do you care about her finances?

You do your fair share of putting SS in the middle. [/quote]

Why are you so antagonistic? We got it, you don't like her and everything she says you are going to come back with a post to the contrary. It gets old. I am beginning to think instead of four people posting we have one person using four different handles asking the same thing over and over and over.


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:54 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Awwwww... have a bad experience with the big bad Immigration Service? They actually make you follow the law and you don't like it?

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:55 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Yes, it is against the law. But dealing with immigration is not always easy. I don't agree with those who come here illegally but I understand why they do.

Funny, our country disses illegals but citizens have no problem allowing them to babysit, pick fruit, build homes, serve food, etc. US citizens are not lining up for the jobs that illegals take.


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:55 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]Lisa you're the bomb! or, as katie says, "your" the bomb [/quote]

Or "*women* get a hobby"...sorry that was cracking me up over here.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:56 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

LOL.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:57 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Actually, when I was married, we had a good experience. Just complicated and ridiculous.

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:58 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]LOL. [/quote]

Why is that LOL? What is so LOL? What makes you think it is so LOL?


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:58 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote] US citizens are not lining up for the jobs that illegals take [/quote]

Typical liberal bullshyt to excuse people who break the law.


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:58 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]Actually, when I was married, we had a good experience. Just complicated and ridiculous. [/quote]

Why was is so complicated and ridiculous? What makes you think you can say that just because you married?


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:59 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Um, ok. Would you take one of those jobs? I doubt it. Typical hypocrite. Talk crap about people but would never ever take this type of job.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:59 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Because she's (or whatever) a moron who doesn't get it.

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:59 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]Um, ok. Would you take one of those jobs? I doubt it. Typical hypocrite. Talk crap about people but would never ever take this type of job. [/quote]

How do you know no one would take that job. What is so hypocritical? Are you now judging hypocrites?


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 07:59 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

If it was take a job like that or my kids starve.. yeah, I would. But at least I'd be here legally.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:01 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Say what b/c I was married? What are you talking about?

Immigration is a joke. Lots of paper, lots of money, lots of people telling you different things.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:03 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

You were fortunate to be born in the US (I'm assuming). Not everyone is so fortunate.

So, you'd only take this type of job if your kids are starving? Who do you think would be picking fruit, washing the dishes in restaurants, doing construction, etc if the illegals weren't here?


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:03 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]Say what b/c I was married? What are you talking about?

Immigration is a joke. Lots of paper, lots of money, lots of people telling you different things. [/quote]

Why is it a joke? Why do you think there is too much paper and money? Who is telling you different things? Are you judging the federal government?


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:04 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]You were fortunate to be born in the US (I'm assuming). Not everyone is so fortunate.

So, you'd only take this type of job if your kids are starving? Who do you think would be picking fruit, washing the dishes in restaurants, doing construction, etc if the illegals weren't here? [/quote]

Why do you think she is fortunate? Did she say she was "fortunate" or are you judging her for being fortunate?


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:04 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

glad we agree on something...dH will pay for 1/2 of SS's college and 1/2 of daughter's college...i will pay for the other 1/2 of daughter's college

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:05 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

Do you see Americans lining up to take these jobs? Nope.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:05 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

We are going round and round. I'm out. You are acting like a moron.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:06 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

So do you and your DH split everything 1/2 and 1/2?

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:07 PM
Got it now?

[quote]We are going round and round. I'm out. You are acting like a moron. [/quote]

Who is going round and round? Why do you say I am acting like a moron? Are you now judging morons? You should go back and read some of your OWN posts.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:08 PM
Re: Got it now?

Right back at ya!

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:08 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

actually i do a lot of that stuff...i pick up trash in my neighborhood, pick up dog poop, clean the bathrooms of the pool, pick up cigarette butts, paint spots that need it, patch stucco, paint curbs....so yah, there are citizens who will do those types of jobs - i'm one of them...and always have been a US citizen

you just have to be willing to pay someone enough to do it...i charge $48 per hour.


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:08 PM
Re: Got it now?

[quote]Right back at ya! [/quote]

What is right back at me? Are you now judging those with things right back at them?


M5M5
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:21 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

LOL! I agree with you! Just saying...that may be why she has that mind set

M5M5
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:24 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

HA! My brother does construction and he is legal. My cousin washes dishes in restuarants (and yes I WOULD do all that stuff).

Ticks me off that the illegals down the street can get FREE aid from the government and buy a house...but we (BORN AND RAISED HERE) can't!


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:24 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

"there is no reason BM shouldn't be able to save some money for her chld when she and her husband have 3 rental properties"

So the illegal not only works at a Federal Institution (paying taxes), but was also able to buy at least 3 pieces of property all the while being illegal, waiting for deportation???


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:25 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

"as katie says, "your" the bomb"

I said that????? Really????? When????? and to who???


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:27 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

She got the props bc her husband was fortunate enough to get half of the assets his us citizen wife purchased during their marriage. It s based on marriage laws in ca

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:42 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

I hate to say everything bc that is a strong word like never or always. But our paychecks go into the same acct and we pay everything outta that account.....including everything for ss....and I put more into the acct so technically I pay for more than half, but all our finances are pooled.

katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:44 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

is this the same marriage that you tried to prove as fraud?? Or is another one? Can you prove this marriage to be fraud?

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 08:49 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

Doesn't matter if it is fraud or not.. the woman is an ILLEGAL.

preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:15 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

While I'm not a fan of illegal immigration, the woman IS here now, she DOES have a child here now and like it or not, she's evidently going through the process to BE legal.

Cincsu's husband used evidently bad judgement and now he gets to live with it. When Cincsu married him, SHE chose to live with it.

Just b/c she doesn't happen to like the woman, how she ended up being the mother of her husband's baby, how she ended up HERE, or anything else, she's still the mother of a child she professes to "love".. but yet she dimishes her (in her own mind at least) in every way, shape and form possible.

More than likely, someday her loving little stepson will figure it out.. and he'll more than likely hate her guts for it.. and rightfully so.

I'd venture to guess she doesn't keep much of what she thinks of the mother that much of a secret. She certainly doesn't here. And she's managed to not only diminish her, but such a wide variety of people, social classes and everything in between it really boggles the mind.

While Cincsu may "have" alot of "things" etc... she seems to lack a heart.


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:16 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

She can't be "ILLEGAL" if she is working for a Federal Inst.!!!!! BTW, I also think she is a POS for what she is putting this child through. She has status in the country, hardly illegal. Yes she came across illegal and has made steps to correct that for the good of her family. She pays state and federal taxes. She shows up to court when Cincsu files a ex parte. She is no more a criminal than a drunk driver!

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:24 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

Ummmm drunk drivers are criminals.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:24 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

I'm sorry.. but she IS a criminal. We DO have laws regarding immigration, katie! What don't you bleeding heart liberals understand about that? I just don't get it.

A drunk driver is a criminal also.. I bet you would change your mind about criminal status if one ever hit your daughter or your husband and killed them. Why don't you ask the family of the five who got killed in NC by an illegal Mexican with no DL or insurance how they feel about illegals?

A criminal is a criminal is a criminal...

Just because she's working for a fed inst doesn't mean she doesn't have fake ID's, katie... there are millions of them out there that do. You think we should make every single one of them US ciitizens? All their murderers, rapists, theives? Cause if it is good enough for her, it is good enough for them.. right?


KiwiGirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:27 PM
Umm illegal?

Well I am not a fan of illegals because they have not paid the due fees to the govt in the accepted manner and waited their turn in line like everyone else. Like me.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:31 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

Doesn't cinscu have a DUI in her background?

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:34 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

no, the second marriage was fraud becuase she was dating huband number 3 while she was married to husband number 2. she has a kid with this guy - this one is not fraud....at least not to my knowledge.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:34 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

What do you care? You obvously love illegal criminals.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:36 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

So, cinscu and BM are no different b/c they are both criminals, right?

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:37 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

yes i got a DUI in my early twenties because i was partying a lot. i paid the consequences, and i'm glad i got pulled over. i, or worse, someone else probably wouldn't be here now if i hadn't gotten pulled over that night. i was wrong, and i "served my time" i learned my lesson, and i don't do it anymore.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:39 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

So why, in your mind, is it ok that your criminal behavior is acceptable but BM's is not?

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:41 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

Ummm... maybe you have a severe reading comprehension problem.. she said she DID HER TIME. The BM has done nothing but sponge off this country and other men. She is STILL a criminal.

Criminy, are you this dense in real life?


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:42 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

you're putting words in my mouth....i never said it was acceptable. i said i did it, it was wrong, i paid the consequences, learned my lesson and don't do it anymore.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:43 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

BM has a job. How is she sponging off the country? Why do you care if she sponges off other men?

KrazyKat
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 09:43 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

I grew up in an area were there were/are still a LOT of illegals.

When the illegal immigrants come to this country they take jobs for little to no pay. They take $$ under the table. They lie, they cheat and they steal. They have children in the USA so that "THEY" can stay in the USA because their child gets all benefits for being a US citizen. And because they are infants, the parents get more than just funding for the child(ren) they came across the border to have.

A majority of these people don't pay income taxes, don't have health or dental insurance, they don't pay car insurance and usually don't even have a driver's license to drive a car.

They end up on Medicaid, receive Food Stamps and or gov't funding and housing to start their life here in the good ole' USA.

All without having paid one cent to the US gov't.


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:45 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

I don't give a big fat rat's arse who she decides to f next.. but she is a fricken ILLEGAL!

God, you are a moron...


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:45 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

All illegals lie, steal and cheat?

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:46 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

Nope, the moron is you

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:46 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

THANK YOU!

KrazyKat
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 09:47 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

"All illegals lie, steal and cheat?"

--> Yes, they do.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:47 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

My point is that you did something illegal. So did BM. Move on.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:47 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Yes, they lie to stay here illegally, they cheat the gov't out of money and they steal from the government via programs they are not eligible for.. so YES.. they are ALL liars, cheats and thieves.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:48 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

I guess you know every illegal. Um, ok.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:48 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

The point is.. the BM is STILL doing something illegal...

I swear, I don't see how someone can be so fricken dense.


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:49 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

By the very nature of being illegal, they are lying, cheating and stealing..

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:49 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

So should she simply leave the country? Should she take her son? Or should she leave him with his father?

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:50 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

yah that's my problem krazykat....even though they are all illegal the ones that are just here to work don't bother me as much. i know they should because they are illegal, but believe it or not i do have a heart. and, i appreciate hard woring individuals. it's the ones that claim the EITC and take subsidized housing, insurance, WIC, welfare, daycare (like BM) that bother me.

i think more welfare is paid out in LA county to illegal parents of US citizens than it is to legal people....that's frustrating that people pay a lot of taxes to support others that shouldn't even be here.

and then there are others that came illegally and didn't keep up with the paperwork that fell out of status...those are probably a lot, too.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:50 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Oh those evil illegals. So much hate you have. Sad.

KrazyKat
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 09:51 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

No, I do not personally know every illegal.

They wouldn't be ILLEGAL if they didn't LIE, CHEAT & STEAL.


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:51 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

Yes, she should leave the country and leave the boy (who ISN'T illegal by her OWN actions) with his father who is not illegal, either.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:52 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

um....well if they are here illegally then technically they are lyingn- yes ALL of them

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:52 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

I guess I'm more bothered by the US citizens who abuse social programs.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:52 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

No hate.. I just have a brain, which you are obviously lacking.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:52 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Right back at ya

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:53 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

You really are a moron. This post proves it.

I'm done dealing with your hate filled posts.


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:53 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

That's it?.. that's all you've got? Pathetic.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:55 PM
Re: Let me see if I understand...

How is that hate filled? Because, God forbid, a MOTHER leave her child with a FATHER?

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:55 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

You do realize that the gov't looks the other way - right? Employers who hire illegals could be prosecuted and they aren't. If the gov't did this, the illegals wouldn't have jobs.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:56 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

how do you know US citizens abuse social programs? what kind of social programs?

should all illegals be allowed to stay and sponge off everyone else? how is that fair or right? do you enjoy giving handing over the taxes you pay to social programs used to fund illegals?


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 09:58 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

how do you now the gov't looks the other way? have you heard of everify? how do you know AZ doesn't take licenses away from businesses that hire illegals? you don't obviously...and are talking without educating yourself - typical.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:00 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

You don't think US citizens abuse social programs? Really?

I know illegals take jobs many US citizens will not accept. If US citizens would take these jobs, there would be no illegals b/c there would be no jobs.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:02 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

How often do you hear that the gov't prosecutes businesses who hire illegals?

Illegals aren't just in AZ, they are all over the country. Even in DC.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:02 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

i don't care who abuses programs - noone should do it...it's wrong. and as i said earlier i pick up poop, cigarettes and clean bathrooms for $48 per hour....if people would pay more then gringos would do it.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:03 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

If US citizens took the jobs they would have to be paid a decent wage.. illegals take them or little to no money and sponge off the government once they get fake documentation. But that doesn't change the fact that they are criminals here breaking our laws the minute they step over the border.

matilda
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 10:04 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

I believe that illegal immigrants are not here just for jobs, but also for free/reduced medical. I've read articles that some states are buckling down on illegal immigration and they are simply moving to another state. When asked about going to their home country one man stated that there were plenty of jobs in his home country, but no subsidized medical care.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:06 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

And if Obama has his way, we'll be getting even MORE of them across the border for free healthcare.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:06 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Where was his home country?

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:07 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

yah i love that my healthcare expenses have tripled partly due to this issue.

preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:07 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]i don't care who abuses programs - noone should do it...it's wrong. and as i said earlier i pick up poop, cigarettes and clean bathrooms for $48 per hour....if people would pay more then gringos would do it. [/quote]

Someone pays you $48 an hour JUST to pick up poop and cigarettes?

You're in the wrong job girl. I make more than that (no college degree by the way) and I don't have to get my hands dirty :)


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:08 PM
?

[quote]Where was his home country? [/quote]

Where is whose home country? Are you judging other's homelands? How do you know he is from a different country?


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:09 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Yeah well you don't live in the Southwest either...an area plagued with problems from illegal aliens.

preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:09 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]how do you know US citizens abuse social programs? what kind of social programs?[/quote]

-------->>> UMMMM... Let's see.. why'd they reform welfare? US citizens becoming baby making machines to stay on the dole and increase their monthly payout.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:13 PM
Re: ?

Just what I thought, you don't have an answer.

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:14 PM
Re: ?

[quote]Just what I thought, you don't have an answer. [/quote]

What do you mean I don't have an answer? An answer to what? How do you know I don't have an answer? Are you judging those with no answers?


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:15 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

that's great preemiemom that you make more...it's definitely a good thing you do because the cost of living in NY is nearly double what is is here in AZ....

and yes, i get paid $48 an hour to take care of the maintenance in our community...it's a busines i started.


matilda
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 10:20 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]And if Obama has his way, we'll be getting even MORE of them across the border for free healthcare. [/quote]

I don't especially like McCain, but I figure he is the lesser of the two evils. Both Obama and Hillary are intent upon taxing anyone who works to make life easier for the people who choose not to work or better themselves.


spinnerdegrassi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:20 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]You don't think US citizens abuse social programs? Really?

I know illegals take jobs many US citizens will not accept. If US citizens would take these jobs, there would be no illegals b/c there would be no jobs. [/quote]

Uh that's a pretty ignorant statement. Go out to Garden City Kansas, a large meat packing town. See, the packing industry there found it was easier to pay the illegals 15/hr with no benefits, than pay unionized workers 20-25/hr and benefits. The US workers wanted the jobs, but when you have illegals willing to undercut their wages by 40% and acccept no benefits, it's hard to say they're taking a job an American doesn't want. I've seen a portion of my wife's family lose jobs in Garden city the last fews years in this manner.


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:21 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Amen...

I just can't believe in this great country of ours.. McCain, Obama, and Clinton are the best we can offer up. Pretty pathetic state of affairs, IMO.


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:23 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Yeah.. those pesky American's wanting to be paid, you know...

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:24 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]Yeah.. those pesky American's wanting to be paid, you know... [/quote]

HOw do you know they are pesky? How do you know they want to be paid? Are you judging Americans who want to be paid?

:p


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:25 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

"and as i said earlier i pick up poop, cigarettes and clean bathrooms for $48 per hour"

You do that with your higher education, yet you dissss bank tellers?


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:25 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Have these employers been prosecuted for hiring illegals?

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:25 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

:)~

Spring
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:27 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

You guys are quackin me up!

matilda
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 10:27 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

You know what just totally grosses me out? I drive by my local Home Depot and there's always 12-25 men waiting for find work. As I drive out I have to pass a new construction building that doesn't have tenants yet. And what do I have to see? These men using the sidewalk outside these unrented buildings as their toilet. It's just so disgusting and disrespectful to urinate in public.

preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:27 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]Yeah well you don't live in the Southwest either...an area plagued with problems from illegal aliens. [/quote]

You think illegal immigration is a problem just in the Southwest?

I live less than a mile from the stories in these links. There are literally HUNDREDS of illegals sitting at 7-11 less than a mile from my front door EVERY morning. Along with protestors. You don't see women go there... EVER. It's literally DANGEROUS. I've been once. With the movers when I moved from the house I own (which is less than 5 miles from the sites discussed in these articles) and one never left my side when we were in there. You don't stop ANYWHERE on the main street I live off of when it's dark. You just don't.

Farmingville isn't the only area on the island with the problem but it's the worst. Hempstead is another one. FarmingDALE is another one.

They squat in abandoned houses along the main street I live off of. The area is a mix of industrial/residential, but the the residential is mostly apartments/condos. The few houses still standing are all squatter homes. 20, 30, 40 of them living there.

And as one article I attached says.. we can't build a fence along a border.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1456969/posts

http://www.pbs.org/pov/pov2004/farmingville/about.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/16/nyregion/16farm.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9805E4D91331F933A2575BC0A9659C8B63


preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:30 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]that's great preemiemom that you make more...it's definitely a good thing you do because the cost of living in NY is nearly double what is is here in AZ....

and yes, i get paid $48 an hour to take care of the maintenance in our community...it's a busines i started. [/quote]

The comment wasn't about COL. It was about feeling superior b/c you had an education. Having an education doesn't make one "smart", or have class, nor is it the only route to making a decent living.


rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:32 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

But if ole greeneyes had her way... every one of them would be a US citizen with full US rights... nice, huh?

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:32 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

yah, and i get paid for it.....i'd rather pick up trash for $48 per hour anytime than stand behind a cash register all day long for $15 per hour.

and as i said many times before i was stating why i wasn't jealous of her not why being a teller is wrong, etc.

well, i guess if they wanted to pay me $48 per hour i would be a bank teller! LOL....i'm sure that's way less stressful than sourcing to china.


spinnerdegrassi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:33 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote][quote]that's great preemiemom that you make more...it's definitely a good thing you do because the cost of living in NY is nearly double what is is here in AZ....

and yes, i get paid $48 an hour to take care of the maintenance in our community...it's a busines i started. [/quote]

The comment wasn't about COL. It was about feeling superior b/c you had an education. Having an education doesn't make one "smart", or have class, nor is it the only route to making a decent living. [/quote]

In this day and age, it gives you a better chance and more options. No education bars you from doing many careers. Having an education bars your from none.


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:36 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

I agree...but in this case she is not illegal!!! What don'y you people understand? She pays income tax, property tax and had been finger printed by the DOJ just to get her job legally. While all you want to say she is a criminal for being here the federal gov't is happy to take all of her taxes. Is she peeing outside of Home Depot? Waiting for work on the corner? She has been cleared to handle Federal Currency. My cousin's, now wife, jumped a cruise ship out of Asia in Hawaii as the ships surgeon. She has still yet to be cleared as "legal" but has a high paying job at Ceders as one of the the top hand surgeons. She does surgeries for many athletes. Is she a criminal??????? No, just waiting her turn in line....kinda like what Cin's husband did.

greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:39 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

I think everyone should have post HS training. But, that doesn't necessarily mean college. There are careers that offer a decent salary and don't require college. The goal should be financial stability/security. Part of reaching this goal is to be wise with one's money. There are plenty of people who make decent salaries and are horrible money managers.

spinnerdegrassi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:40 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Not the same. When you apply for permanent residency, you have to declare you never entered this country illegally on any occasion. It's a criminal action, and she will not get residency on that basis regardless of marrying an American after the fact. They went through a similar case here in KC that gots tons of press a few years back, and when the woman finally tried to get her Perm Residency they shipped her ass back to Mexico, even after she'd gotten married and had a child with her American husband. Now they're living in TJ, and the husband commutes to a job in San Diego daily.

matilda
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 10:41 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

I wasn't posting about anyone specific, but on illegal immigration in general. Living in southern California, I am inundated with the effects of illegal immigrants. I just think it is wrong to enter a country illegally, use services paid for by legal tax payers, and seek anything "free" that you can get. All the while touting how unfair it is not to get citizenship when they want it, with full benefits, whilst they are carrying the Mexican flag chanting in Spanish.

Relayer
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:42 PM
Re: for those no longer in love with their ex...

[quote]"That is an excellent point. At times when I have a client who overly reacts to something in a case I half jokingly suggest that the client will reconcile... after all there is no sense in having such strong feelings about what another person thinks unless you are going to stay in a relationship with them! Interesting just how many become deathly quiet after hearing the suggestion. " -from an attorney [/quote]

When it comes to both my ex's, I only care about what they think or do when it affects the children. Otherwise, I don't care and neither should anyone else if they truley want to divorce.


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:44 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]I wasn't posting about anyone specific, but on illegal immigration in general. Living in southern California, I am inundated with the effects of illegal immigrants. I just think it is wrong to enter a country illegally, use services paid for by legal tax payers, and seek anything "free" that you can get. All the while touting how unfair it is not to get citizenship when they want it, with full benefits, whilst they are carrying the Mexican flag chanting in Spanish. [/quote]

It is no different here in Texas, and was no different when I lived in AZ and NM. And yes I know illegals are everywhere I don't think they suck the tax payers as dry as they do in the Southwest. *My* car insurance in thru the roof because if illegal aliens who drive uninsured. Property tax is higher because the county has to pay for aliens medical and schooling...I pay full price while an illegal gets free lunch. BS and they pay NO TAXES.


KrazyKat
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 10:46 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

And in every Gov't Office, Hospital, Bank, etc. There are signs with two languages. Spanish & English.

Spanish is usually the first language on those signs.

Why is it that in the USA where the official language is ENGLISH, our gov't has to provide OFFICIAL GOVT SIGNS in a foreign language?


preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:47 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

I'm not sure where you'd find stats on that. Who pays more. I think it's pretty damn bad when an entire section of a town wants to secede from the town itself over it though.

There's a humongous cost in the driving down of property values.. in the driving down of local business b/c people are afraid to even be there.

I'm sure it's not the same level as the border states, but doesn't make it any less of a disturbing problem to those who deal with it where it does exist.. regardless of where it exists.


greeneyes
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:49 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

In Israel, signs are often in Hebrew (official language), Arabic and English.

matilda
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 10:50 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]And in every Gov't Office, Hospital, Bank, etc. There are signs with two languages. Spanish & English.

Spanish is usually the first language on those signs.

Why is it that in the USA where the official language is ENGLISH, our gov't has to provide OFFICIAL GOVT SIGNS in a foreign language? [/quote]

Gee, come try living in Southern California because I don't know what 1/3 of the signs say because they are in so many languages. Drive down one street everything is in Korean, another Chinese, another, Spanish, another, Japanese, another Cambodian, another Laotian, the list goes on and on and on. There are so many enclaves down here and they just keep sprouting up. So much for the melting pot theory because there isn't any melting you can clearly see each new addition to the pot.


spinnerdegrassi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:50 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]And in every Gov't Office, Hospital, Bank, etc. There are signs with two languages. Spanish & English.

Spanish is usually the first language on those signs.

Why is it that in the USA where the official language is ENGLISH, our gov't has to provide OFFICIAL GOVT SIGNS in a foreign language? [/quote]

Actually the USA doesn't have an official language...English has just become accepted as such.


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:50 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

One problem here is when they jump back and forth across the border. They can steal your car or rape you and be proctected by a corrupt government in a matter of minutes. It stinks and the worst place I have ever seen it was in El Paso, Texas. I would never live there.

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:51 PM
So?

[quote]In Israel, signs are often in Hebrew (official language), Arabic and English. [/quote]

So?


spinnerdegrassi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:52 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Nuevo Laredo is bad also. My trips down to Laredo/NL back in 2004/2005 were always tension filled.

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:52 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]Nuevo Laredo is bad also. My trips down to Laredo/NL back in 2004/2005 were always tension filled. [/quote]

Oh yeah what a drug town that is. They should just give that back to Mexico. Here you can take it back...


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:54 PM
Laredo

[quote]Nuevo Laredo is bad also. My trips down to Laredo/NL back in 2004/2005 were always tension filled. [/quote]

Many parts of Laredo are off limits to active duty military personnel-if that tells you anything.


KrazyKat
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 10:55 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

There's a HUGE story here in the news about an ILLEGAL who carjacked a woman waiting in the car while her mother went into the grocery store. The store is only a mile and a half from where I live. He took her about 5 miles down the road and raped her twice. Then ditched her and the car another 5 miles down the road.

The local place the illegal was working at (my DD16 was going to start work there next month) hired the man because he used FALSE PAPERS and they didn't know he was illegal. He had many ID's on him when they found him. Thanks to the grocery store cameras and him being ID'd by several of his co-workers, he was caught and is currently undergoing prosecution.

I live Farther NorthEast than most on this site. Somewhere you wouldn't think there are many illegals. I can vouch and say there are PLENTY of illegals even here.


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 10:57 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

The problem in that area is that they can bounce back and forth between the US and Canada. IF you ever watch AMW illegals in your neck of the woods are suspected to be hiding in Canada.

Watch out Spring!!


matilda
(Pooh-Bah)
06/24/08 11:00 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote][quote]And in every Gov't Office, Hospital, Bank, etc. There are signs with two languages. Spanish & English.

Spanish is usually the first language on those signs.

Why is it that in the USA where the official language is ENGLISH, our gov't has to provide OFFICIAL GOVT SIGNS in a foreign language? [/quote]

Actually the USA doesn't have an official language...English has just become accepted as such. [/quote]

Actually 30 individual states have adopted official languages even if the federal government hasn't.


Spring
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:00 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

I'm on the West Coast, and we are having a huge serge in gangs here. I understand one of the worst is a Mexican based gang...starting to try and take territory here. I can't remember their official name.

Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:01 PM
Nortenos

Nortenos or MS 13 or something like that.

preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:03 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]I live Farther NorthEast than most on this site. Somewhere you wouldn't think there are many illegals. I can vouch and say there are PLENTY of illegals even here. [/quote]

I'll 2nd your vouch, I lived there for almost 30 years ;)

Boston/Providence have always been big immigration points for more the Portugese, Cape Verdeans and whatnot.


Spring
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:06 PM
Re: Nortenos

Yup, MS 13. Its getting pretty bad here. Gang violence is really starting to effect my life. I am just shocked how things have evolved. The Hells Angels are almost the good guys these days...at least they didn't take out innocents. I heard these MS 13 are pretty bad.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:07 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

no, making more tha $48 per hour in a permanent job means that one is making $100K per year which is a great living in pretty much almost any part of the US....except maybe Beverly Hills. my post had nothing to do with education.

some people do very well for themselves with little education, and great for them. it isn't the norm, which is why i chose not to take that chance.


katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:07 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

"Not the same."

It is EXACTLY the same thing. She jumped ship as a citizen of Japan. She came in illegally. Actually, she had to sneak off the line because of her "papers" she made a run for it, and she made it....don't get me started on cruise ship workers...


Miranda
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:09 PM
Re: Nortenos

I went down to my favorite grocery store in Alamo Heights last week and there was MS13 crap grafittied all over the place.

On the river walk at night, the gang bangers come out after midnight. Luckily the cops are all over the place but those cholos creep the crap out of me. My mase is ready at all times. In Tucson we drove with a 9MM in the glove box.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:10 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

katie: illegal is illegal is illegal...and until the gov't adjusts her status to legal permanent resident she is still illegal. she may have an EAD, but she is still here illegally.


and because she claimed to be a us citizen when she crossed the border and was in a sham marriage chances are high she may not be able to adjust status when the time to adjudicate her case arises.

how much research have you done on this subject? how many message boards have you participated in on immigration and how many attorneys have you spoken to about it? i have....and have dealt with it for years because of what i went through with my husband.


Spring
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:15 PM
Re: Nortenos

Geez!! That's just crazy! What scares the heck out of me is how these gangs are swallowing up our kids! SD16..obvioulsy HUGE risk factors. Then with all that going on, some "psycho" gang affiliated kid is now after my son...because his sister wanted to go out with my son, and my son wasn't interested. My son says if he calls the cops(the kid keeps showing up at his place, taunting him, trying to make him come out and fight)..the kid might go to jail(he just got out an is on probation) but he will get out and come looking for him. My son went and bought mace today too...he doesn't know what else to do.

katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:27 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

"how much research have you done on this subject? how many message boards have you participated in on immigration and how many attorneys have you spoken to about it? i have....and have dealt with it for years because of what i went through with my husband."

Again, misdirected anger!


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:32 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

katie i'm not angry because you're ignorant - better you than me. it's just frustrating that you've probably never looked into it yet continue to spout out how wrong i am. the point here is that i've done research - obviously you haven't. and i'm sure your posts are misdirecting some people.....so do some research before you profess to know everything.

katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:46 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

"so do some research before you profess to know everything."

Ummm ok, I will try and catch Oprah tomorrow.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:47 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

good for you! i'm sure she knows a lot about immigration.

katiefedup
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:52 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

Isn't the Oprah show the very program that you claimed to "be the the all be" just a few days ago???? It went something like this....well I know I did the right thing because I was watching Oprah.... yuck, Ever wonder why Oprah has zero kids? But, by all means, continue with Oprah's advice and her "guests" and you will surely loose your husband and your DD.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:54 PM
Re: Umm illegal?

yah katie, you're exactly right!

preemiemom
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/24/08 11:57 PM
ROFL

big time giggles on that one! I caught that the other day but was being well-behaved. And I thought the exact same thing. No child.. never married? Or won't commit to poor Stedman. And she's doling out family advice? Or Dr. Phil? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

rocketgirl
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/25/08 06:02 AM
Re: Umm illegal?

Ummmm.... I'm pretty sure that was a sarcastic comment about Oprah...

<BER>


spinnerdegrassi
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/25/08 10:06 AM
Re: Umm illegal?

Well seeing as how I've gone through status adjustment to permanent residency, and filled out the I485 form, and I'm guessing your husband has done the same, I know pretty concretely that you will be questioned as to any illegal entry into the USA ever in your past. This will deny your attempted status change. The INS is pretty overt about that issue.

cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/25/08 10:13 AM
Re: Umm illegal?

Actually it was more of I saw this on pprah and the expert she had on said X. What do you guys think, but there is little point in arguing with pea brains.

PrincessJ
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/25/08 10:16 AM
I love you, KK, but....

The US doesn't HAVE an official language....


"The United States does not have an official language, but English is spoken by about 82% of the population as a native language, with a majority of English speakers being monolingual. "

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_the_United_States


PrincessJ
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/25/08 10:19 AM
Re: Umm illegal?

[quote]Actually it was more of I saw this on pprah and the expert she had on said X. What do you guys think, but there is little point in arguing with pea brains. [/quote]

Yew R sew smart.

You need to get your superiority complex in check.

Do you really HAVE a degree? Because it truly does not shine through in the quality of this post.


cincsu
(Carpal \'Tunnel)
06/25/08 10:20 AM
Re: I love you, KK, but....

Spinner you are corrct. They also don't look favorably upon fraud or claiming one is a citizen when one is not. As I said earlier it is very obvious to those of us versed on the subject that katie is obviously not. But you and I know she will never admit she is wrong...she will just continue to talk about things she doesn't know or just change the subject to some other inaccuracy in order to divert attention from the hot button.


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