07/05/06 11:26 AM
Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

OK I had asked my attorney to get stbx to pay for all or a greater portion of my attorneys fees because Stbx makes big bucks and is heir to very big bucks and I make squat and am getting squat as temp spousal after 20 year marriage ( my first attorney was a whimp and I got way less than I should have in temp spousal. Stbx had all kinds of deductions taken out of his paycheck and inflated the cost of my son living with him.
My attorney without consulting me made a deal with opposing counsel that both myself and stbx would each withdraw 20K from a joint account and have the money deposited in an account that only the attorneys had access to to pay their fees. I said "No way" because that is not the same as stbx paying all or a greater portion of my legal fees. Well it seems that my attorney told opposing counsel that I had agreed to that before even consulting with me. So STBX withdrew 20K then sent another check of 20K to me and he wrote on the check by cashing this check you agree to all the terms in a letter written by his attorney --which had various unrelated issues in it that I did not agree to. So I did not cash the check.
I am pissed because my attorney said yes to opposing counsel before consulting me. He said even if stbx withdrew the 20K I could get my share at settlement. But he still has not persued the issue of attorneys fees.
Also he just said that opposing counsel had written up a proposed financial settlement agreement (don't know the correct legal nomenclature) but he had not yet received it. I asked him why he did not write up his own settlement proposal for me and he said "It would save me in legal fees if opposing counsel wrote it up" I think he is being lazy.
Why wouldn't be write up his own settlement proposal for me? He ordered all the discoveries months ago.
If I change attorneys it will be the third attorney and I am concerned that that may look bad to the judge when we go to court. I fired the first attorney because she was charging me $350 an hour to discuss parenting books with opposing counsel and found out they were friends outside of work. She was basically a nice nimrod.

My legal fees have already reached over 30K. We only can communicate through our respective attorneys. That was stbx that wanted no direct communication. I am trying to have the house repaired but to get him to pay half I half to run it through the attorney which ends up costing more in legal fees than the cost of the repair.

07/05/06 03:31 PM
Re: Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

I would have cashed the check. Do you think the mortgage company wouldn't cash your check if you put a disclaimer like that in the subject line?

(Carpal \'Tunnel)
07/05/06 03:45 PM
Re: Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

your legal fees are over 30k because you have went through 3 lawyers and are considering a 4th, the divorce is dragging because you do not sound like you are even trying to compromise and you do not like the choices that have been giiven to you.

the choice you do have is to divorce with some dignity.
figure out up is to be divided fairly, mediate and move on and I suppose be happy that because of squabbling and being bitter your lawyers wife is more than likely sporting a new mink coat.
who knows, but dragging out a divorce like this only puts money in someone else's pockets and certainly not the people divorcing.

Also he just said that opposing counsel had written up a proposed financial settlement agreement (don't know the correct legal nomenclature) but he had not yet received it. I asked him why he did not write up his own settlement proposal for me and he said "It would save me in legal fees if opposing counsel wrote it up" I think he is being lazy.
Why wouldn't be write up his own settlement proposal for me?
***** he saved you money by letting the other party spend money in doing this.
***** you can pick at it after it has been written up.

the sad part is that you said you have not even been to court yet.

do you even have a plan B if the judge takes a look at what has been going on ad says you two children run aong and pay your own lawyers...

(Carpal \'Tunnel)
07/05/06 03:56 PM
Re: Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

---> No, it's time for YOU to quit being such a pain in the ass and move on.

(Carpal \'Tunnel)
07/05/06 07:15 PM
Re: Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

What ever happened with the handwriting analysis stuff and the letter you sent?

07/06/06 03:01 PM
Re: Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

"What ever happened with the handwriting analysi stuff and the letter you sent"
It was never persued by stbx. Initially the girlfriend filed a ex parte RO on civil harassment which was denied by the judge. She tried to serve papers on me for civil harassment by having my son followed by her process servers. My attorney told me to avoid being served because the whole thing was stupid and the judge would throw it out . My son (who lives with his father) attempted suicide from the stress of being followed by the girlfriends process servers. She was having him followed to try to find me to serve the papers because she knew when he visited me. The suicide attempt occured a day after he turned 18. STBX refused to release any info to me about his condition but my attorney found out from opposing counsel that my son had attempted suicide and was being treated by a team of psychiatrists. My attorney told me that the girlfriend had to be convinced to drop the suit after my son attempted suicide. What a gal. My son dropped out of regular high school to home study. I was told that girlfriend was so upset that stbx asked her to drop her suit that she stopped seeing stbx.

(Carpal \'Tunnel)
07/06/06 03:07 PM
Re: Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

She is a floozy-ggod riddance.

I spent a good deal of time re reading most of your posts yesterday. I know (not from experience) that you are going thru a terrible time right now, BUT I do think that you are your ex are wasting too much money on lawyers. 100K in legals fees could have been 50K in your pocket as part of a settlement.

Your son is 18 now, he is an adult and he can do as he pleases now. Perhaps he will come back around- I am sure he has had a terrible time in all of this also.

07/06/06 03:53 PM
Re: Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

"She is a floozy -god riddance"
I don't care who the stbx is hanging out with as long as she does not have a negative effect on my son. And he may be still be seeing her, don't know, don't care. Just care about my son and money in that order. Son will come around after he grows up and gets out from under his father's control.
I spent 30K so far not 100K. Much of the cost was to do with getting info on son.
I posted to get advice whether I should move on to attorney no 3 based on attorneys actions or lack of action. I worried about my attorney just caving in -- not really looking out for my interests.

(Carpal \'Tunnel)
07/06/06 04:16 PM
Re: Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

What ever happened to the check?

I'd send it back stating that I don't agree to all the stipulations on the letter, and also note that you are instructing your attorney to file a motion for attorneys fees to be paid ASAP. No more dicking around...you can take it straight to court from now on.

Has spousal support been discussed?

07/06/06 05:22 PM
Re: Is it Time to Change Attorneys ??

"what happened to check" --I never cashed it. He cashed his. My attorney said not to worry. Money would get fairly devided at settlement. But stbx is getting interest on my 20K still in account so I thought about withdrawing 20K plus the interest that accrued on it. But I am worried if I cashed it opposing counsel would say that I had accepted the deal that they proposed about each of us withdrawing 20K for legal fees from a joint account.
My attorney refused to ask for attorneys fees. He said that it would be better to ask for them later at the settlement and that you could ask for them at any time .
STBX makes 150K or more,(and is heir to millions but I realize that means nothing legally) I made 26K from spousal support plus another say 5K from a temp job and am living off saving --paying attorneys fees from savings. I have a very negative cash flow. I even have to pay the mortgage too on the house which I am living in which will be sold. I got screwed on temp spousal and mortgage payment by first dumb attorney. I asked my current attorney if I would get credit for the equity I paid and he said "No'. I have no idea if I am getting correct legal advice.

My attorney said I would get even less permanent spousal than the current 26K temp I am getting. I am unemployed right now and in my fifties.
I wanted to have my temp spousal changed because stbx has gotten a raise. Attorney has not filed for it.
I don't really understand the timeline --there is no custody issue since he is 18, the discoveries have been made, opposing counsel wrote up a settlement agreement over a month ago but my attorney said he has not seen it yet.
I was concered about getting my temp spousal changed before we go to court if permanent is based on temporary. Attorney said the judge is not big on spousal support. I stayed home for years with sick kid so hubby could advance his legal career. Anyway I am not sure whether I should get another more aggressive attorney to get this over with, with a good settlement.

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