| verylostat37 |
| (recently joined) |
| 01/29/06 09:26 PM |
Need lots of help
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Married just shy of 6 years, I work part-time,he works full time. The house loan is in his name but Both are on deed. The loan for the car I drive is in his name(which is paid off). He said marriage was over and wants a divorce. He said he has felt this way for 2 years. He also says I will get nothing in the end, no car, no equity from house, no money, no 401k, no nothing. He siad I did have anything before him and will have nothing after him.
Please someone give me some advice??? I need help
| Gecko |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/29/06 11:44 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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Some questions...
1. What state do you live in?
2. Was the home purchased before or after the wedding?
3. Where did the money for the down payment come from?
4. Was the automobile pruchased before or after the wedding?
5. Where did the money for the down payment come from?
6. Did you have a joint checking account?
7. Did you both deposit your paychecks into this joint account?
8. Were funds from this account used to pay the mortgage and the automobile loan?
| verylostat37 |
| (recently joined) |
| 01/30/06 08:26 AM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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Well,
-we live in ohio
-home was purchased after we were married, with no down payment.
-car was purchased after we were married, with no down payment and is now paid off.
-there are 2 checkings and one savings, both names are on all accounts.
-house payment is paid each month with his check.
-car was withdrawn right out of checking.
Please help
| almostheaven |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/30/06 08:35 AM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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Check ou this thread: http://www.divorcesource.com/ubbthreads/showthreaded.php?Cat=0&Number=70228&page=&vc=1
OH uses the common law property system. Under this system, property acquired by a married person during marriage is the property of that person separately, unless the person agrees with his or her spouse to hold the property jointly.
Since you are joint on the house, you would be entitled to share in any equity...but also in any debt. The car may go either way, but since the accounts were joint and it was purchased presumably with joint monies during the marriage, a judge may lean towards splitting the value of it.
Monies in the accounts may end up split proportionately to earnings or any number of ways the judge may deem fair.
But one thing is for certain, your husband does not determine what you can/cannot have. A judge does. Perhaps he needs made aware of this fact.
| Gecko |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/30/06 01:58 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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As AlmostHeaven said, it is not up to your STBX (soon-to-be-ex) what you will get or not get...it is up to the Judge if there is a disagreement.
Based on the information provided, you are entitled to a share of the equity in the marital residence and the automobile. Whether or not that share is 50/50 can dependent of a number of factors including financial contribution and "sweat". You might also have an "interest" in his 401(k).
Another question...why are you only working part-time?
| focusedon2 |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 01/30/06 08:07 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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Your husband doesn't seem interested in playing fair. If you have money in joint accounts you should take out what you deem to be your share now (up to half) in case he decides to empty it first. I believe once you file, the accounts can be frozen but until that point anyone can w/draw any amount.
| verylostat37 |
| (recently joined) |
| 01/30/06 10:13 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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I am working part-time, because I was laid off from a job 2 years ago and my husband didn't want me to work full time so we could try and have children. We never did have any kids. I am looking for a full time job right now.
What about the 401k???
Please help :confused:
| Gecko |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 01/31/06 12:35 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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I am working part-time, because I was laid off from a job 2 years ago and my husband didn't want me to work full time so we could try and have children.
---> True as it might be, your STBX could easily say that your working PT was against his wishes and contributed to the demise of the marriage. You'll have to use "logic" to counteract.
What about the 401k???
---> As I said...you MIGHT have an "interest", but 1) it is going to be limited to the amount accrued during the marriage, 2) it's going to be further limited by your employment, and 3) it be offset by his "interest" in any retirement account you hold.
| verylostat37 |
| (recently joined) |
| 02/01/06 09:30 AM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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Wll, I went and took out have of the savings and my husband found out and is pissed. He wants the money back and also wants the car I drive. He also said He wont give me anything since I took that money. I am also driving a friends car and put my car in hiding. I see an attorney monday. Its getting very ugly. I guess he should of thought about before he was caught at his girlfriends appartment this past Sunday morning.
I told him we can sit down and discuss who wants what before the lawyers decide. He says I will get nothing and thats, that.
I just want to crawl in a hole and not come out till its over.
:confused:
| almostheaven |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 02/01/06 10:41 AM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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It is STILL not up to him what he will GIVE you. He has a hard lesson ahead of him.
| MamaKitty |
| (Pooh-Bah) |
| 02/01/06 04:46 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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Kind of sounds like what happened the last time my BUMD and I separated... he had always said he didn't want any fighting, and wanted to be fair-
Ended up his idea of fair was that he 'gets the house, gets the kids, gets the dogs, gets the cats'...and I get nothing. In fact I remember him making a point of saying it wouldn't be fair unless I had less than nothing.
Point being, it doesn't really matter what they say. He had absolutely nothing but bad credit when he met me 10 years ago, and to this day would have nothing without my help. It takes a little while to get over the surprise of having someone tell you that everything is theirs, but if you were making a contribution to both of your futures, even if it wasn't monetarily (my background is in finance, which helped us attain a lot of 'our' supposed goals), you won't be left with nothing. Whether you are left with anything 'fair' is up to debate, especially in these forums. The house I purchased as a single woman, owned free and clear before I met him, but used to purchase this much larger more expensive house 'he just had to have' for us and the children... is most likely not going to benefit me at all. Instead of having my own freely-owned house to move back into with our kids, I now have a huge mortgage that dwarfs any equity that my house provided as a down payment, which will be offset by his debts.
So, fair? No, you probably won't get that. But you might get enough to get you moving towards a better goal. Getting a lawyer to spell all this out to you so you aren't so intimidated by your X would be helpful.
c
| Tabitha |
| (addict) |
| 02/02/06 01:19 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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You go girl. Don't you dare lie down and take it. You did the right thing. It doesn't matter how pissed he is. Just remain calm and level-headed about this. I promise, you will be grateful to look back at this and know that you were smart, cool, dignified and classy about this. Don't let him ruffle your feathers. It's time to adopt the Mona Lisa smile... yup, you heard me right. When you must encounter him (otherwise, please do use the NO CONTACT rule) and he starts getting ugly, just smile a Mona Lisa smile and tell him you will not discuss anything with him and he needs to just talk to his attorney. So sorry for what you are going through - but you'll get through this. Good luck.
| verylostat37 |
| (recently joined) |
| 02/02/06 05:49 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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I did get a attorney this past monday and I fell better about what I will end up. I don't want it all, I just want half. He is seeing a attorney today and Im sure he will be in for a surprise. I might not get everything I want, but I will get something.
thank you
| Annie7676 |
| (old hand) |
| 02/04/06 05:37 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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Great that you have a lawyer....please don't lie down and let this person dictate everything....it is doubtful that you will get nothing...some good advice I saw posted here several years ago advised to make copies of everything, e.g., bank accounts, deeds, legal papers, etc...its amazing that once the leaver has someone else things start to disappear...the advice was to rent a copy machine if you have too, do it at home when he is at work and not counted on to come home. or gather them up and go somewhere to make the copies....
i am sorry that you are going through this...it just cements my thoughts THAT WOMEN SHOULD NEVER COUNT ON ANYONE to take care of them...my grandmother told me that since I was a small child...thank goodness I listened but my heart goes out to all the women and mom's that end up with the man trying to just dump them and leave them with nothing. I am not talking about the women that try to take it all, just whats fair and equitable.
i hope your lawyer is a good one.
| needy |
| (enthusiast) |
| 02/13/06 03:41 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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You better see an atty fast. Sounds like he's been talking alot but not hiding things. You should file for divorce right away and be fair especially if you have kids, he is their father. remember if you're nasty he can be too so thnk things out. Most likely things will be split 50/50 and the custody the same. That generally speaking. If you have a divorce for a faulted reason, you might fair better but hiding money and the car doesn't look good. I know a lot of people would say to do that especially while you can. I would have tried to freeze all assets and let court decide.
| almostheaven |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 02/13/06 06:37 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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A judge wouldn't see it as hiding if she doesn't give him one of the cars and removes half the money and can still show these possessions come court time. If she takes them and claims to not have them, that would look bad. But if she takes just half to safeguard, and turns them over in court, because she fears he will hide it because of how he's behaved and what he's said, a judge wouldn't fault that. To do nothing means he may very well take it all, and while the court can ordered it returned, court orders aren't worth the paper they're written on.
| verylostat37 |
| (recently joined) |
| 02/15/06 07:07 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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Maybe, I should start driving my car again. If he takes it I guess I will just ahve to deal with it. I should get it back when its all said and done. I just wouldn't have anything else to drive. Plus my friend has been asking about getting her car back. I just wish he would just let me drive it without worring if he will come and take it or take the plates off of it.
I wish this was easier.
| Gecko |
| (Carpal \'Tunnel) |
| 02/16/06 12:03 PM |
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Re: Need lots of help
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What you need to do when you file for divorce is to also file for temporary orders and ask for exclusive use of the automobile. While it wouldn't stop him from being an ass and having the vehicle towed or removing the plates, you would then have recourse...he would have to reimburse you any costs you incurred getting the vehicle back and with the CO, you can go to DMV and get new plates.